Girl Claims Price Scanner Gave Her Tourette's Syndrome 558
Attorneys for Dominica Juliano claim that she was burned and developed psychological problems after a store clerk aimed a hand-held price scanner at her face. Store attorneys say their scanners uses a harmless LED light and that the girl had serious health problems before she was scanned. From the article: "Dominica Juliano was 12 when she and her grandmother entered the Country Fair store in Erie in June 2004. A clerk allegedly called the girl 'grumpy' before flashing his hand-held bar code scanner over her face and telling her to smile. Attorneys for Ms. Juliano and her guardian say the girl was sensitive to light and burned, and later developed post-traumatic stress and Tourette's syndrome."
Grumpy (Score:3, Funny)
To verify (or disprove) the claim... (Score:1, Funny)
...just point a laser at the back of her head in court.
Re:Grumpy (Score:5, Funny)
"You're grumpy" *beep* OOOh...Sick burn!
I am not *motherfucker*! *Cockbag*! Shit!
Oh my goodness, I don't ever recall speaking like that before. Must have been the scanner!
Who else wants to show up with a laser pointer? (Score:5, Funny)
Who else wants to show up with a laser pointer?
I'm betting we can chase her away from entering the court house...
-- Terry
Maggie (Score:5, Funny)
Maggie Simpson is going to have a terrible case of Tourette's after being scanned every week for the past ~20 years.
LED + WiFI (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:5, Funny)
It's even more annoying, considering a judge threw out my case against my city's bus service. I was splashed in the face by a puddle in the bus station, where I was picking up some hookers. Next day: BAM. Herpes.
Re:Damn! (Score:1, Funny)
I rate your quaint troll as follows:
2/10
That is all.
Re:Um yeah, ok easy enough (Score:5, Funny)
fuck you!
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:4, Funny)
Because judges aren't generally empowered to prevent a case from going to trial because they don't believe the facts alleged. A judge can prevent a case from going to trial because the facts alleged, if viewed in the light most favorable to the plaintiff, don't support a legal cause of action.
And, of course, the light here is definitely not favorable to the plaintiff.
Re:While the claim is stupid... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:A Possibility (Score:3, Funny)
Hrmm, according to current popular opinion vampires just sparkle in light, and it has to be sunlight not visible light LEDs.
Re:Maggie (Score:2, Funny)
Well obviously she has development issues - she still can't really talk, and she's shot people on multiple occasions.
Re:Um yeah, ok easy enough (Score:5, Funny)
Oh and never mind that Tourettes is an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder.
The laser was obviously set to stunt.
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:5, Funny)
Forget that, the simple matter that this is not possible should prevent it. It would be like me suing you for my migraines because I believe your invisible unicorn witch put a hex on me.
Re:Frivolous lawsuits ... (Score:4, Funny)
NUTSACK
Re:Grumpy (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:3, Funny)
So shine the light on her again.
Re:Litigation Land (Score:5, Funny)
And don't forgot the old-school favorite, where a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
If someone would believe that, why wouldn't they believe that a 1-milliwatt laser could burn them?
Could be worse (Score:4, Funny)
Re:A Possibility (Score:1, Funny)
Vampires are dead and therefore have no legal rights.
You insensitive clod!
They're not dead, they're Vitality Impaired!
Re:Wonderous (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Grumpy (Score:3, Funny)
Shrugs shoulders, Nods head, snaps fingers. claims he got it from a bathroom motion detection unit.
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Grumpy (Score:5, Funny)
Cue the sound of CIA shredders destroying all evidence of project MKWALMART.
Re:While the claim is stupid... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Grumpy (Score:3, Funny)
"You're grumpy" *beep* OOOh...Sick burn!
"You're grumpy" *beep*, and NOW 50% off due to the smoldering tissue!
It's true! (Score:3, Funny)
Paying taxes gave me Tourette's Syndrome. While I'm writing the check I curse uncontrollably. I wonder if I should sue.
Re:Grumpy (Score:3, Funny)
"Please place the item in the bag"..."Please remove the item from the bag"
You're not the boss of me!
"Thank you. Have a nice day"
Stop tellin' me what to do!
Re:Could be worse (Score:3, Funny)
NARF
Re:Grumpy (Score:5, Funny)
FEED ME A STRAY CAT!
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:5, Funny)
Um, I hate to be the first to point this out, but it's pretty obvious that this girl is a vampire.
RamSAY (Score:4, Funny)
It's spelled "Gordon Ramsay" you **** ****ing ***hole piece of ****.
Re:I'll show you grumpy! (Score:3, Funny)
Should of told them you were clinically depressed and trying to refuse service to you was a violation of you ADA rights and you are going to sue them for the damages inflicted.
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:5, Funny)
Not far fetched (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Samzenpuss fail - case already dismissed. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Grumpy (Score:3, Funny)
Well that's fucking boring!
Re:Fire that Judge (Score:3, Funny)