"Vegetative State" Patients Can Communicate 347
Kittenman writes "The BBC is carrying a story about researchers in the UK and Belgium who can detect the thinking processes within a patient previously thought to be in a vegetative state. The researchers ask the patient verbally to think in certain ways to indicate a 'yes', in other ways to indicate a 'no' — and have successfully communicated with 4 out of 23 patients previously thought to be in a coma."
Horrible news (Score:5, Funny)
It's not that big of a deal... (Score:4, Funny)
Us vegetative types have been doing that for years on World of Warcraft.
Vegetative patients say (Score:5, Funny)
"Eat me, I'm nutritious."
One beep for "yes", two for "no" (Score:5, Funny)
Fry: "BEEP!"
Zap: "'Yes.' Ok. And, are you guilty!?"
Fry: "BEEP! BEEP!"
Zap: "Double 'Yes'!"
Sorry -- too lazy to dig for the exact quote.
Re:4 out of 23? (Score:4, Funny)
If you're only sending out 23 surveys you need to take a remedial statistics course. And actually an almost 25% return rate is very good for any survey. Most folks are lucky to get a 10% return.
What if you only have 23 faculty members?
Damn, you know last night I asked my wife how her day was. What a fool I was. How could I ever get valid results with such a small sample pool.
Re:It's not that big of a deal... (Score:3, Funny)
Hell, I was thinking more along terms of my current management.
Re:Terrible fear (Score:5, Funny)
Especially if a land mine has taken your sight, taken your speech, taken your hearing, taken your arms, taken your legs, taken your soul, and left you with life in hell.
You have been found punworthy (Score:2, Funny)
You mean the cereal rapist will spend time in Vegetative State Penitentiary.
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:5, Funny)
I'm holding out for there being some consciousness in the medulla oblongata, held down and suppressed by the tyranny of the cerebral cortex.
Finally free, the medulla oblongata rejoices that now it is the dominant force of consciousness and now it will get to make all the decisions.
Only then it discovers it still can't do anything but make the body breath, pump blood, and occasionally barf.
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:3, Funny)
Lots of horrible things happened. Insides of coffins from the earlier centuries were found to have scratch marks from the people inside waking up
That doesn't count: they (the bodies inside those coffins) turned out to be zombies or vampires, all defective and thus unable to reach the surface. Unlike Uma Thurman, who got out just fine...
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:2, Funny)
doesn't say all patients in a vegetative state are aware, just that some are, or more to the point, have been misdiagnosed.
Yes, for all we know they could just be browsing slashdot comments.
Re:Euthanasia (Score:3, Funny)
I think we've come full circle
"for the last five years of my life, forgotten by and an embarrassment to my friends and family is my idea of hell."
back to the World of Warcraft player.
Re:Terrible fear (Score:5, Funny)
Ode to the lameness filter:
I know, dear Filter, that using so many caps is like yelling
When quoting Metallica, though, yelling is okay
My mother taught me never to yell at people
But she also said that it's okay if you have a loud guitar
Incidentally, she didn't teach me how
To write an ode.
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:1, Funny)
Real Player required?
At least they used a format that's as braindead as the subject.
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:1, Funny)
That's good enough for a degree at most colleges!
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:1, Funny)
*insert tasteless peanut butter cup joke here*
Re:Summary wrong: Not a coma! (Score:3, Funny)
You mean Los Angeles?