2010 AL30, Asteroid Or Space Junk, To Pay a Close Visit

astroengine writes "A near-Earth object that could be manmade has just been discovered hurtling toward us. On Wednesday (Jan. 13), an object called 2010 AL30 will fly by Earth at a distance of just 130,000 km (80,000 miles). That's only one-third of the way from here to the moon, i.e. very close. It will miss us, and if it did hit us, it wouldn't do any damage anyway, but I managed to pick up on some chatter between planetary scientists and found out that the 'asteroid,' or whatever it is, gives us a new standard: a 10-meter-wide asteroid can be detected two days before it potentially hits Earth. A pretty useful warning if you ask me."

VGER

[Anonymous Coward]

V*GER is coming home!

Two days?

[Finallyjoined!!!]

Not much of a sodding warning. Can you stock up & get to high ground/underground in two days?

Nobody asked you, thanks.

[Rogerborg]

• Scientician: Mr President of Earth, we've picked up an asteroid on a potential collision course with earth!
• Mr President of Earth: Great Scott! Will it hit us?
• Scientician: Yes! Maybe. I mean, probably. We're pretty sure that it might.
• Mr President of Earth: And how much damage will it do?
• Scientician: Ah, a good question. That depends on what it's made of.
• Mr President of Earth: What's it made of?
• Scientician: We're 92% confident that we'll learn that with a 57% probability after it hits us.
• Mr President of Earth: ... 'k. And where will it hit?
• Scientician: Well, if it hits the earth, it's more likely to hit a wet bit. Unless it doesn't. And it'll probably be in the Northern hemisphere, unless it's not.
• Mr President of Earth: So we should...?
• Scientician: Well, gee, sir, that's your decision. I just do the Science.

Oblig. Futurama reference

[Anonymous Coward]

So should we send another ball of garbage to deflect it?

Colonel, you better have a look at this radar...

[franiu]

Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

We should get ready for Dr. Evil...

Re:VGER

[ThinkWeak]

Oddly enough, the first film seemed like it took two days to watch as well

Re:Two days?

[brunokummel]

Not much of a sodding warning. Can you stock up & get to high ground/underground in two days?

...humm you could get high...

Re:Two days?

[rubycodez]

I was hoping to have some hot young chick let me kiss her bum goodbye

Re:2 days?

[Muad'Dave]

...wildly accelerated away in a hyperbole

How apropos - "wildly accelerated" is hyperbole. Oh you mean "hyperbola".

Re:Nobody asked you, thanks.

[stjobe]

Scientician? WTF?

Ah:

"According to The Simpsons, a "scientician" is "a scientist with questionable credentials who publicly supports spurious hypotheses."

Re:That's your own fault

[ceoyoyo]

I have lots of neighbours. They should last for months.

Re:Oblig. Futurama reference

[jefu]

You mean Bruce Willis? (oblig Armageddon reference).