Russia Plans To Divert Asteroid 305
Posted
by
samzenpus
from the Bruce-Willis-approved dept.
from the Bruce-Willis-approved dept.
CyberDong writes "Roscosmos, Russia's Federal Space Agency, will start working on a project to save planet Earth from a possible collision with Asteroid Apophis, which may happen in 2036. NASA specialists believe that the collision is extremely unlikely. Russian specialists will choose the strategy and then invite the world's leading space agencies to join the project."
Extremely unlikely (Score:5, Funny)
NASA: Listen, there's no way that thing is going to hit us.
Roscosmos: Naturally, since we're diverting it. Thank you for your vote of confidence, American pigs.
In Soviet Russia. (Score:5, Funny)
You hit Aster... wait.
In Soviet Russia, Asteroid hits Y...
I've been defeated.
Great quote in the article (Score:5, Funny)
"Everything will be done according to the laws of physics."
That's what they all say...
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:5, Funny)
based on their experience with avoiding snow - I consider this to be a highly likely outcome.
Re:In Soviet Russia. (Score:5, Funny)
Can we.... (Score:4, Funny)
Apophis (Score:1, Funny)
can't you just call the assguard?
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:5, Funny)
There's a bigger chance to get hit by Apophis then to win the lottery.
Doesn't seem likely to me. If an asteroid hits the planet, there might not be any more lotteries run after that. And the likelihood of the asteroid hitting, and me winning the lottery shortly afterward is vanishingly small, especially as I don't enter lotteries.
Re:Russian hot air (Score:2, Funny)
If their nuclear subs were floating that would be a bad thing, subs are supposed to sink under the water :)
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:5, Funny)
Indeed. There's a lot of exciting lotteries out there and we've got tickets in all of them.
Re:asteroid (Score:5, Funny)
What you're asking for is either:
A) We hit Mars with an asteroid! Hooray for science! (15 years later) MARS AND EARTH WILL COLLIDE IN 100 YEARS"
B) Scientists found proof of intelligent life on Mars - recent underground civilization uncovered by asteroid impact
Re:End of the world! (Score:3, Funny)
> ...at least enough to post on slashdot.
Nothing to worry about, then.
Re:Extremely unlikely (Score:5, Funny)
Nah, you forgot that little bit of emphasis: ;)
NASA: Listen, there's no way that thing is going to hit us.
Roscosmos: Yeah, because it’s going to hit us, dickheads.
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:4, Funny)
The real risks come from objects we are not currently observing.
Russian scientists.
Whatever the specifics are... (Score:5, Funny)
How much you wanna bet this will involve Putin, a gun, and a film crew?
Re:Russian hot air (Score:3, Funny)
Chess (Score:3, Funny)
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:1, Funny)
4 8 15 16 23 42
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:3, Funny)
"Sir, the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are two to one!"
"Never tell me the o-oh... well that's not bad. Never mind, let's keep going."
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:3, Funny)
I want to point out that the odds of winning a state lottery jackpot, let alone a MegaMillions jackpot, are so small that your odds of buying a winning ticket are effectively no better than the odds of finding a winning ticket on the ground.
With my luck, if I ever win the lottery we're sure to be hit by an asteroid the next day. So you guys better be glad I don't play the lotterty, and pray I never find a ticket on the ground.!
Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? (Score:3, Funny)