The Science of Santa 76
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by
ScuttleMonkey
from the santa-from-the-future dept.
from the santa-from-the-future dept.
Santa Claus must use advanced technologies to pull off his annual feat. Thankfully, NewScientist has the exclusive about the what and the how. "He relies on some impressive gadgets: miniature flying robots, advanced satellites, highly sensitive surveillance devices, memory-erasing milk, self-assembling toys, and a warp-drive-powered sleigh that's capable of bending and twisting space-time to such an extent that it slips Santa and his reindeer out of the observable universe. In 1949, Kurt Gödel published one of the first mathematical descriptions of how it could work. In his version, the universe has paths called closed time-like curves that might allow you to jump in a ship, fly for a while, and end up right back where you started in space and time."
Of Course We Knew This (Score:4, Funny)
I figured it out a long time ago (Score:5, Funny)
Re:SDI (Score:2, Funny)
Memory-erasing milk? (Score:4, Funny)
The milk is supposed to be left for Santa, not by Santa.
So kids with a crush on Santa are definitively deciding the naughty or nice question by slipping him some rohypnol.
WTF, Santa? (Score:3, Funny)
He relies on some impressive gadgets: miniature flying robots, advanced satellites, highly sensitive surveillance devices
So Santa's had this technology for hundreds of years and he didn't share it with anyone? WTF?
This is just a silly article.... (Score:3, Funny)
But somehow I like it. Maybe I just want to believe in a dilithium crystal powered TARDIS like sleigh allowing one to open gateways between the stars and slide from universe to universe.
Torchwood Cardiff moves to North Pole (Score:3, Funny)
Oh my God, it all makes sense now. Santa Claus is Jack Harkness in a costume.
Re:It's a much larger conspiracy (Score:1, Funny)
Santa doesn't need a warp drive in his sleigh to deliver presents to all the children on he nice list because the nice list is very small (under 100). The rest of the kids ( 2 billion? ) get a lump of coal predelivered before Xmas to their parents by regular post. The parents don't have the heart to tell their lovely little brats how awful they are, so they send the coal to the petrochemical industry, where it is hydorgenated into becoming an oil then polymerized into becomng a plastic. The plastic is then moulded into a non-elf made toy. The parents then hire one of the lesser Saints than St Nicholas, like St Biff protector of travel luggage, to put on a white beard and red coat and deliver the remanufatured coal to their kids' stocking on Xmas night.