Russia Confirms Failed Missile Launch Caused Norway's Light Show 236
Ch_Omega writes "According to this article over at BarentsObserver, the giant spiral seen on the sky over Norway Wednesday morning local time has been confirmed to be the result of a failed Russian missile launch. Russia now confirms that '...the missile was launched from submerged position in the White Sea by the nuclear submarine Dmitri Donskoy. Studies of the telemetric data from the launch show that the two first stages of the missile functioned as they should, and that a technical malfunctioning occurred during the third stage.' There is also an article on this at The Daily Mail."
Well paint me surprised: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:5, Funny)
My god, it's worse than I thought.
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:5, Funny)
More interestingly, why were they shooting this off next to Norway? Maybe they were hoping it was so cold outside all the Norwegians would be inside and wouldn't notice...
What exactly was Russia shooting at?
Re:Back in the day... (Score:5, Funny)
Everyone without a tinfoil hat knew it was a failed rocket of some kind.
Thats because the tinfoil hats block that kind of mind control.
Re:Back in the day... (Score:5, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, UFO reports you!
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Testing missiles? (Score:5, Funny)
It was supposed to detonate over the polar cap and melt it to shut up the global warming deniers.
Re:Back in the day... (Score:3, Funny)
Hah! That's what THEY want you to think!
bloody nonsense. (Score:5, Funny)
Bad fuel mix (Score:2, Funny)
Given the out of control spiral pattern maybe Vodka wasn't the best choice for rocket fuel even if it was greener.
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Testing missiles? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Forth Post! (Score:2, Funny)
: X DUP 1+ . . ;
Underwater aircraft launch of F-15 (Score:5, Funny)
A missile that hypnotizes you (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe they want to create a weapon that hypnotizes you. And once you are hypnotized they recruit you hahaha
Aliens from outer space (Score:3, Funny)
"Missile launch" is just a coverup.
Norway's version of "It was just a weather balloon".
ITS OKAY, FOLKS (Score:2, Funny)
Russia's just launching missiles from nuclear subs, that's all.
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:0, Funny)
No, he's just an American
Re:What happened to Russia? (Score:2, Funny)
Obvious when you think about it. (Score:4, Funny)
You are at a party relaxing and enjoying yourself. At some point you lose track of your surroundings and time. When you come to, you remember being junk-kicked in your man business some 180 times. You're pretty sure in was someone you met at the party by the name of Ivan Jnkkckr. After a bit of investigative work you track down Ivan's number from another guest that attended the party. Ivan denies junk-kicking you in your man business.
After further investigation and conversations with other party attendees, you come into possession of some cellphone video. The videos show quite Ivan's foot spinning in a spiral pattern while junk-kicking you in your man business some 180 times. You confront Ivan Jnkkckr with multiple videos showing from multiple angles the relentless assault on your now decimated nuts. Ivan then promply admits that he spiral junk-kicked your nuts.
Obviously Ivan knew he had junk-kicked your man business; he just needed the video evidence to compel him to come clean.
Tinfoil is a plot!!!11!eleventeen (Score:3, Funny)
Sure, that's what the Government and their Illuminati masters want you to believe. So you're wearing roughly a metallic hemisphere on your head, right? Sure, it reflects mind control rays coming from upwards and back, but what about rays coming from the front, hmm? Right, those get reflected and focused, like by a telescope mirror, inside your brain. And do you think that the proliferation of WiFi hotspots and police radars and whatnot at ground level is just a coincidence? Hmm? Wake up, people! ;)
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:5, Funny)
Well, duh. UFOs, obviously. The significant question is: what sort of exotic defence did they use to cause that response? Warp shields? Singularity field?
Re:Well paint me surprised: (Score:3, Funny)
Exactly. In Belgian news it was described as a missile which could travel 8000km and drop 9 atomic bombs.
It's "inducing fear", distracting the public from something else (why show off their new "worlddestroying" missiles? And if they've tested 8 times before, like I read somewhere, why was it only now as visible? My family has a strong military history and I've always been told "the [military] official story is always PR, not truth.")
It's poking the USA with a wink to the cold war; the US is weakened after been cannonfood in the middle east, ginormic debts and an economy belly-up, Saudi arabia cannot loan futher "We has to sell dubay, and don't have monnies nemaor because of electric cars :'(".
It's the perfect time to fire off awesome fireworks and telling people it might be able to destroy the world in a eyeblink.
Up next: Asia demonstrates military superiority, the middle east continues to develop atom bombs, Europe develops a European united army, India knees USA in the balls, USA drafts robots for duty, whips AI-scientists to be more productive and drafts 12yo fat kids to operate drones while Japans mechs are revealed, taking over control of the teen demography through hentai.`^_^
I better start programming at a post-apocalyptic world. 2012 isn't global warming. (had been debumked, needed new fear; kthx Russia, bring more brides.)
Re:Testing missiles? (Score:3, Funny)
"Most likely into Okhotsk..."
Isn't that where they make kid's bib overalls?
Coincidence? (Score:3, Funny)
Cold War ends, Global Warming Starts?
Don't worry, its just the Russians in the fight to stop Global Warm...erm Climate Change.