LHC Has First Collisions After Years of Waiting 324
An anonymous reader writes "Only four days after the first attempt to send a particle beam around the LHC, we have arrived at the point when all four experiments got their first real collisions from the machine. This was met by celebrations and champagne, as people have been waiting years and years for this moment. It is a testament to the engineering of the machine that collisions were reached already, so few days after restarting. The LHC had already demonstrated ca 10h stable beams, and now also stable beams in both directions at the same time. In the coming weeks, we need only wait for increased intensity and the first attempts at acceleration."
I for one... (Score:1, Funny)
As I learned in driver's education (Score:0, Funny)
As I learned in driver's ed: collisions are bad.
and because this is the LHC, this must mean the end of the world
I don't understand because we're still two years away from Dec 21st 2012
Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Is the LHC insured for collisions?
Re:The real question is... (Score:5, Funny)
...when should we throw our end-of-the-world parties?
Today. I've already maxed out my credit cards and slept with the neighbors wife. I'd imagine he's gonna be pretty ticked off when he finds out but I'm hoping the LHC destroys the planet before he gets home ;)
Since the world is about to end... (Score:5, Funny)
Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Apparently the future has given up its battle against the LHC. Take that, Nature!
Re:The real question is... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Crossing the Streams (Score:5, Funny)
It's akin to a pitcher throwing a few warmup pitches...
Huh?
Could you put that into a car analogy?
Re:The real question is... (Score:5, Funny)
A few small points of information for you:
Your neighbor actually won't be ticked off when he finds out. Quite the contrary, he's gonna be highly aroused and in the mood for a wet & messy threesome. He's also extremely well endowed and has been eyeing you for some time already.
So in summary, you're still hoping the LHC destroys the planet before he gets home.
I other news... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Boy, you sure lepton that joke in a hurry.
Re:Obligatory (Score:4, Funny)
woosh!
Its a particle physics thing.
Re:Crossing the Streams (Score:5, Funny)
Its like a weabo revving the engine of his pimped out ricer at a stoplight. Don't worry, there is a pretty decent chance it will throw a rod when he actually puts it in gear.
First Collisions? (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like they should have used a switch instead of a hub. Then there wouldn't be collisions.
Re:There's a nice formula to show the world won't (Score:5, Funny)
What about the Poop concentration?
Re:Data from first collision through CMS detector (Score:4, Funny)
It was very cool to be in the control room when the first collision took place =)
I have to say, you kept the coffee fresh, even though you forgot to add sweetener to mine.
Re:Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)
Invalid woosh. Only a tiny fraction of the Slashdot readers work in the particle physics domain.
Only the *tiniest* fraction? Hahahahahaha! Get it? No... okay, pretend it's 1970 and we don't know about tauons yet! Hahahaahaaaa! No? Dangit.
On a totally unrelated note, did the LHC scientists learn absolutely NOTHING from Ghostbusters?!?
Re:Crossing the Streams (Score:5, Funny)
its like the warm up laps at Talledega (NASCAR) before they throw the green flag. You know there is going to be a big collision after the start, you just don't know when and how big. For the End of the World it would be if all 43 cars got wrecked so bad that not one could continue the race. Game over.
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
I could say, I suppose, that if he wants to talk about leptons, you need to give him some SLAC... but I won't.
(typos, on the other hand-- the one where the "r" and the "d" switch order in the word "hadron"-- would be appropriate... but still tasteless.)
Re:Portal (Score:2, Funny)
Hurp durp two year old video game reference. i get it. you're so funny.
According to xkcd [xkcd.com], he's still three years early.
Re:Crossing the Streams (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Data from first collision through CMS detector (Score:5, Funny)
And there is a live video feed available here: http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html [cyriak.co.uk]
Re:The real question is... (Score:4, Funny)
Isn't that what the Windows 7 release parties were for?
when does the gift shop open? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Data from first collision through CMS detector (Score:2, Funny)
Cool picture. My particle physics is a bit rusty, but let's see now... green line distribution seems normal... yellow squiggles there and THERE... hmmm... I see there's more red blocks than blue blocks... ah, yes...
Congratulations, it's a boy!
Re:First Collisions? (Score:1, Funny)
Trolls trolling trolls...
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/8/81/Trolling101.gif
An open letter to Slashdotters. (Score:5, Funny)
Uh, yeah, about that. We're kind of swamped up here with all the new souls looking to get in, so we've decided to fast track certain predominantly Godless groups to eternal damnation. You're now stuck at work.
Forever.
Respectfully yours,
The Archon V2.0
Trainee mortal/immortal liason, New Media Department, Heaven.
Re:The real question is... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
He's strange like that.
Re:Crossing the Streams (Score:4, Funny)
Could you put that into a car analogy?
Certainly.
A particle bunch in the LHC is presently being handled as though it were a young driver that has recently been issued a provisional drivers license. In the same way that smart parents will provide their new commuters with low power, unexciting vehicles to discourage reckless behaviour, the LHC particles are being denied high levels of energy to prevent any additional unintended excursions.
Just as new drivers suffer a high probability of making mistakes due to inexperience, high energy particles in the LHC are liable to reveal (additional) unknown flaws in the design or construction of the facility. By limiting energy levels the effects of any failures will hopefully be minimal, just as a Volvo 740 wagon that can barely break 60mph due to its 190K miles is less likely to kill you when it slides into a ditch than is a Turbo Carrera disintegrating as it rolls at 210mph.
Note that this analogy fails when one considers that drivers are trained to avoid collision, whereas LHC particles are intended to experience many collisions.
BadAnalogyGuy [slashdot.org] is supposed to be handling these sort of illustrations, but he has been slacking of late.
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Boy, you sure lepton that joke in a hurry.
You're a quarky one, aren't you...
Re:I for one... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Let me guess, as a practical joke you loosen the covalent bonds in the secretaries dress just before the friday staff meeting.
Are you kidding me? That kind of crap is for chemists. We physicists just let our wave functions interact until there is barrier penetration through tunneling. We enforce strict segregation of fermions, but boson-on-boson action is encouraged. As a fermion, I'm usually spin-up when I see their wave functions collapsing.
Re:The real question is... (Score:5, Funny)
Read carefully:
It's a HADRON collider.
Re:The real question is... (Score:3, Funny)
Cross border paperwork (Score:4, Funny)
The Real Question Is (Score:2, Funny)
Will it blend?
Re:Obligatory (Score:2, Funny)
But doesn't his joke have some charm nevertheless?
Re:As I learned in driver's education (Score:5, Funny)
we're still two years away from Dec 21st 2012
I applaud your math skills, good sir!
Re:Yay, another solid page of black hole jokes. (Score:4, Funny)
I know. You'd have to be a really strange person to think this sort of thing is in any way charming. If it were up to me, I'd moderate all of them down.
Re:Obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
WRONG!!!
Leptons go PEW PEW not woosh!
Re:Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)
That's right, make a spectacle of me because I use bing.
Re:I for one... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
Mutter mutter...
Look, everyone, he's discovered dark mutter!
Re:The real question is... (Score:3, Funny)
2012 has no relevance to anything.
It's almost a palindrome. That's gotta mean something.
It's also nearly 13 years after the year 2000, and we all know how unlucky the number 13 is.
Where's the kaboom? (Score:3, Funny)
There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!
Re:I for one... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:As I learned in driver's education (Score:2, Funny)