IBM Takes a (Feline) Step Toward Thinking Machines 428
bth writes "A computer with the power of a human brain is not yet near. But this week researchers from IBM Corp. are reporting that they've simulated a cat's cerebral cortex, the thinking part of the brain, using a massive supercomputer. The computer has 147,456 processors (most modern PCs have just one or two processors) and 144 terabytes of main memory — 100,000 times as much as your computer has."
Cool... (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
One word... (Score:4, Funny)
One word...
Meow!
hmmmm (Score:5, Funny)
My cat's name is Butt Puppet. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:One word... (Score:2, Funny)
One word...
Meow!
Thought you only needed 32 bits for that?
Sleep Mode (Score:5, Funny)
Now if the could just get it out of sleep mode.
Re:Why cats? (Score:4, Funny)
To properly simulate a cat, the system needs to sleep 20hrs a day which would thus make it the greenest option on the market.....
Re:Why cats? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:hmmmm (Score:4, Funny)
Funny I was going to say lay in the sun and ignore you.
But.... (Score:4, Funny)
Can it lick its own arse in polite company?
Iz in ur brane... (Score:5, Funny)
Iz in ur brane, making ur thorts. LOL!
"The computer has 147,456 processors and 144 terabytes of main memory."
First there was "Deep Thought" (Score:5, Funny)
then "Deep Thought II"
then "Deep Blue"
next "Deep Pussy"??
Re:Why? (Score:3, Funny)
A "feline" step ... ? (Score:1, Funny)
A "feline" step, huh?
Would that be Leopard, Tiger, or Panther?
Nah, but it will refuse to be mouse operated (Score:5, Funny)
Nah but it will refuse to be mouse operated ...
Re:Cat mentaity (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why cats? (Score:3, Funny)
Im in ur 'puterz, simulatins ur neurons.
That's why.
Cat-Brain Tech (Score:5, Funny)
The military is rumored to be interested in using the cat simulator to guide precision munitions with laser pointers. Unfortunately the system seems limited to short range applications, as missiles seem to loose interest after a couple minutes.
Re:Cool... (Score:4, Funny)
I can has petaflop?
Re:"100,000 times as much as your computer has" (Score:5, Funny)
It's often thought that gibibytes and tebibytes were invented to allow "giga" and "tera" to retain their conventional meanings as powers of 10 even when used to refer to quantities of data.
However, the true reason was to enable an entirely new form of pedantry.
I have the cheaper version 2.0 (Score:3, Funny)
asvfgko90]\ (Score:3, Funny)
I assume that it will walk all over its own keyboard now.
Re:Cat mentaity (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like Windows ME.
Windows MEow in this case.
And it has 9 lives (Score:3, Funny)
It'll accept 8 crashes before it finally dies the 9th time.
Re:Sleep Mode (Score:5, Funny)
Just move the mouse.
Re:Cool... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:144 terabytes of main memory (Score:3, Funny)
Schrodinger's Cat-puter (Score:1, Funny)
If we place the powered-on computer in a sealed box filled with water, is the system still alive or is it dead?
That's easy (Score:5, Funny)
I did something similar this morning.
Now how hard was that?
Re:"100,000 times as much as your computer has" (Score:5, Funny)
Simulation output (Score:4, Funny)
My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape... that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of furniture. I fear I may be going insane.
How hard is it to simulate a cat's brain on 1 cpu? (Score:5, Funny)
simulated a cat's cerebral cortex, the thinking part of the brain
10: INPUT(8) $SOUND
30: IF ($SOUND == 'CAN OPENER') GOTO 140
40: DO CASE (RND(4))
50 CASE 1:
60 CLAW_FURNITURE()
70 BREAK
80 CASE 2:
90 MARK_FURNITURE()
100 BREAK
110 CASE 3:
120 SLEEP(RND(10000))
130 CASE 4:
140 PRETEND_TO_BE_NICE()
150 IF (FOOD) EAT()
160 GOTO 10
170 ENDCASE
Re:Cool... (Score:4, Funny)
I doubt IBM is up on Internet memes enough to get that one. I'd wager they're still laughing at the Ally McBeal dancing baby animation.
Re:news for nerds (Score:2, Funny)
and 144 terabytes of main memory — 100,000 times as much as your computer has.
What is that in library-of-congresses?
Re:news for nerds (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, yes it is.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symmetric_multiprocessing [wikipedia.org]
In computing, symmetric multiprocessing or SMP involves a multiprocessor computer architecture where two or more identical processors can connect to a single shared main memory. Most common multiprocessor systems today use an SMP architecture. In the case of multi-core processors, the SMP architecture applies to the cores, treating them as separate processors.
You disagree with Wikipedia. That means you've been proven wrong in front of the whole Internet. Hang your head in shame.
Re:hmmmm (Score:5, Funny)
Funny I was going to say lay in the sun and ignore you.
It's IBM,not Sun.
I already have it on my computer! (Score:3, Funny)
I just looked into my /bin directory, and there it was: An executable clearly named "cat"!
Re:They are a model organism for neuroscience (Score:5, Funny)
Iz in yur timez... (Score:5, Funny)
...termanatin yur connerz.
GOOD LORD! (Score:3, Funny)
None of you are terminating your strings! No wonder software has so many security holes!
Re:They are a model organism for neuroscience (Score:3, Funny)
Surely there is an easier way for computer nerds to get pussy?
Yeah, just visit your local Humane Society or animal shelter.
Don't tell them what you plan on doing with it, though.
Re:How hard is it to simulate a cat's brain on 1 c (Score:3, Funny)
My simulator just ignores all user input and pees on the rug behind the couch twice a day.
Re:Cool... (Score:3, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, joke ruins you. ;-)
Cheers
Schrodinger's PC. (Score:2, Funny)
Unfortunately, it's completely unservicable.
I heard that if you open the case to check the hardware, there is always a dead CPU.
Re:Well, how hard is that? (Score:3, Funny)
I hate scooping my girlfriend's litter box.
Re:That's easy (Score:2, Funny)
Sounds like my ex-girlfriend.
And then... (Score:3, Funny)
And then some idiot brought in a laser pointer and the machine destroyed itself trying to catch the dot.