Evolution's Path May Lead To Shorter, Heavier Women 411
Hugh Pickens writes "Yale University researchers believe that if evolutionary pressures of sexual selection and reproductive fitness continue for another 10 generations, the trends detected in their study may mean that the average woman in 2409 AD will be 2 cm shorter, 1 kg heavier, will bear her first child five months earlier, and enter menopause 10 months later. 'There is this idea that because medicine has been so good at reducing mortality rates, that means that natural selection is no longer operating in humans,' says Stephen Stearns of Yale University. 'That's just plain false.' Stearns and his team studied the medical histories of 14,000 residents of the Massachusetts town of Framingham, using medical data from a study going back to 1948 spanning three generations, and found that shorter, heavier women had more children than lighter, taller ones. Women with lower blood pressure and cholesterol were also more likely to have large families as were women who gave birth early or had a late menopause. More importantly, these traits are then passed on to their daughters, who also, on average, had more children. The study has not determined why these factors are linked to reproductive success, but it is likely that they indicate genetic, rather than environmental, effects. 'The evolution that's going on in the Framingham women is like average rates of evolution measured in other plants and animals,' says Stearns. 'These results place humans in the medium-to-slow end of the range of rates observed for other living things.'"
What a headline (Score:4, Funny)
Evolution's Path May Lead To Shorter, Heavier Women
Well, shit. That sucks.
Alrighty Then (Score:5, Funny)
Wow. I had no idea when I went to sleep last night that I would wake up against Evolution. Where's the ID/Creationism Kool-Aid? Comin' on board... make some room.
Soooo..... the typical American woman (Score:4, Funny)
Heavier.
And people say we americans are falling behind. We're just 500 years ahead and all the rest of ye are catching up. ;-)#
Re:Population trends and the direction of evolutio (Score:4, Funny)
(stops eating)
Alright. We gotta lick this problem right now. (puts milk back in fridge). Just think of all the money we'll save if we only eat half as much.
Re:Where is the evolution? (Score:4, Funny)
Symmetry plays a large role in physiology, so it would be very unlikely to see an evolutionary step that leads to 3 boobs. Lateral symmetry dictates that you'd be more likely to see 4 or 6 before that.
There is the possibility of radial symmetry kicking in and getting a non-even number of boobs, but that's just weird.
This is already happining in the Midwest. (Score:3, Funny)
Here in Illinois, we just call them "corn fed". I had just assumed it was the climate.
36-24-36? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What a headline (Score:2, Funny)
i, for one, welcome our shorter, heavier overlords ;)
Re:What a headline (Score:4, Funny)
heavier overlords ;)
Heavier ? You do know you are dead now, right ?:P
Nasty, brutish and short (Score:5, Funny)
Didn't Thomas Hobbes argue that in the state of nature "the wife of man is solitary, nasty, brutish, and short." Or have I misquoted somehow?
Re:Population trends and the direction of evolutio (Score:5, Funny)
>>>If you don't like it, go rape some tall and skinny women into pregnancy, and ensure the children survive to perpetuate the cycle.
C'mon we're geeks No need for such crudities:
- Donate sperm to a bunch of banks (this should be easy for us)
- Hack the computer and replace your specs with some hot-looking guy's specs
- Unsuspecting women pick the man of their dreams, and instead get your sperm.
- Eighteen years later these women will be wondering why their kids look like Bill Gates instead of Tom Cruise
- ???
- Profit (genetically speaking)
Re:Personally, I think it is a matter of social cl (Score:1, Funny)
Poor people, on the other hand, breed like rabbits.
http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/miracle-of-life.gif [whatingods.name] (NSFW)
Re:36-24-36? (Score:3, Funny)
I never thought I'd see the day when Sir Mix-a-Lot got a +5 Insightful on /.
Shorter eh? Obviously never been to Holland (Score:5, Funny)
There are PLENTY of women here close to or over 2 meters. Do you know how hard it is to stare down at a woman's tits when they are above you? I got to carry a stepladder around JUST so I can I look down on women.
my wife (Score:5, Funny)
Shit. My wife comes from future!
Re:Fat Americans Breed Fat Americans! Film at 11 (Score:3, Funny)
The women who bore children also got shorter, apparently.
Re:Population trends and the direction of evolutio (Score:5, Funny)
Already done. I have something on the order of 5,000 children, who will be tall, skinny, and insanely intelligent. I've also created 3 biological children (the old fashion way). One girl, two boys. They're all tall, skinny, and intelligent. They'll all likely be hackers and/or megalomaniacs. The next world wars will be between my own children. :) As it continues, the biological children count should increase, as there are many tall skinny attractive intelligent women who are courting me to be their mate. :)
I've done my part to improve humanity through unnatural selection. It's up to the rest of you to do your parts. You short fat idiots need not attempt it. :)
Re:Population trends and the direction of evolutio (Score:1, Funny)
All of the sperm banks in my area have height requirements that I don't meet...
Re:my wife (Score:3, Funny)
If anything ever needed to be posted anonymously...
Been nice knowing you.
Re:Population trends and the direction of evolutio (Score:3, Funny)
Don't feed shieldwolf when he's off his meds, it will only encourage him to continue not taking them.
Tee hee... (Score:5, Funny)
Yo mama is so evolved...
Re:Population trends and the direction of evolutio (Score:2, Funny)
We need to nip this in the bud right now...so, guys, QUIT fucking fat chicks!! Don't settle...wait around for quality women that don't weigh a ton.
Geez, with all the supposed 'pressure' they say is on girls to be thinner...it sure doesn't seem to be working that well.
My wife (Score:3, Funny)
My wife is 4'9" and we just had our first child. We are both engineers, and I'm none too tall myself.
I think we might as well save them the trouble and name our next child Nali Mekkatorque and just get the Gnome race started.