British Company Takes Lead To Stop Asteroids

An anonymous reader writes to tell us that following the news of NASA's budget cuts impacting their ability to do things like watch the sky for asteroids, a British company has decided to create a "gravity tractor" ship that could divert asteroids away from Earth if the need should arise. Of course, a gravity tractor certainly isn't a new idea. "Dr. Cordey said the company had worked with a number of space authorities on other methods of protecting the Earth from asteroids, but this one would be able to target a wider range. He said: 'We have done quite a lot of design work on this with the European Space Agency and we believe this would work just as well on a big solid iron asteroid as well as other types.' But the high cost implications mean that before the device could be made, it would have to be commissioned by a government or a group of governments working together."

The Free Market fixes another intractable problem!

[Anonymous Coward]

But the high cost implications mean that before the device could be made, it would have to be commissioned by a government or a group of governments working together.

Oh, never mind then.

What could go wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

Competition, not coordination, in attempting to stop asteroids from ending all life on Earth. What could go wrong...

Meanwhile, in an East Texas courtroom...
Dr. Cordey: Your honor, I'd like to file an injunction to prevent NASA from using their gravity tractor to stop the asteroid that will impact Earth next week.
NASA: This patent is ridiculous. They don't have their own working gravity tractor. They aren't even trying to build one. All of their ideas in their patent come from working with NASA and the ESA.
Dr. Cordey: We don't have our own gravity tractor, but we are working with the ESA to build one. It should be done in a year or two.
NASA: Everyone on the planet will be killed next week. We have to be permitted to stop the asteroid.
Judge: I'm going to allow the injunction. You can appeal it within 60 days if you like. Without patents protection, all we have is chaos. We can't make an exception here just because it suits us.
1 week later: BOOOOOOOOM.

CCTV

[ickleberry]

Does this plan involve taking all of Britain's CCTV cameras and pointing them towards the sky?

What about their business plan?

[dapyx]

I'm very curious to learn which is their business plan. Could it be "pay us a gazillion dollars or we won't use our technology against the asteroid"?

Kabooommmm

[Mojo01010011]

What's wrong with the tried and tested method? If Armageddon and Deep impact have taught us everything, it's that sending an emotionally unstable group of astronauts with a bunch of nukes will save most of the world ... not all of it, but most! What's that 80/20 % rule?

Re:The only question is....

[alexborges]

Those technologies don't even exist.

We should get some psychics and move it by telekinesis, duh.

Re:Not necessarily

[Anonymous Coward]

Sometimes, you need to create a problem to solve another.

Warm regards,
Yahweh

Re:What about their business plan?

[gijoel]

Nice planet you've got here.....

Be a shame if something happened to it.

Re:Not necessarily

[ScrewMaster]

Apophis will make a near pass to Earth in 2029.

Must be a mistake. The Goa'uld already tried that back in 2002 ... we used a hyperspace generator to jump the rock around Earth. Worked like a charm too, although it was a bit touch-and-go there for a bit. In any event, Apophis is only a false god. A dead false god.

Re:CCTV

[Grim Leaper]

Don't you realise that just pushes the asteroid problem along to the next planet?

Re:Bad science

[Hognoxious]

Historically, all the prophecies without a single exception written in the Bible have so far come true.

All of them? I don't recall seeing a seven headed dragon anywhere.

Re:Bad science

[selven]

That doesn't include being killed by small asteroids. Or winning secondary prizes in the state lottery.