Artificial Brain '10 Years Away' 539
SpuriousLogic writes "A detailed, functional artificial human brain can be built within the next 10 years, a leading scientist has claimed.
Henry Markram, director of the Blue Brain Project, has already built elements of a rat brain.
He told the TED global conference in Oxford that a synthetic human brain would be of particular use finding treatments for mental illnesses.
Around two billion people are thought to suffer some kind of brain impairment, he said.
'It is not impossible to build a human brain and we can do it in 10 years,' he said."
Awesome (Score:5, Funny)
Go with eleven years (Score:4, Funny)
Then you won't have to listen to the cliche that an artificial brain will always be 10 years away. No one would use eleven years in a cliche.
Re:Go with eleven years (Score:5, Funny)
No one would use eleven years in a cliche.
Spinal Tap would.
Re:10 years? (Score:1, Funny)
In the year 2000, I predict we will have completely eliminated paper currency in favor of electronic transfers.
Microsoft's manly caress of the operating system market will have faded and Linux will no longer be for nerds living in their parents basements. Instead, the parents shall be living in the nerds basements, as the nerds will all have found jobs working for Google. However, Mac users will still be snobby, latte sipping douche bags. Some things are just meant to be.
In the US, they will elect the first german born president, or the Fuhrer, as he will be popularly known.
Jesus will return, in Amsterdam, and start a nice smoke shop near the red light district.
And finally, AI will be born, wrought from the hard work of Computer Science experts at the university of Oxford. Unfortunately, "NEW-B" as it is hilariously named, is introduced to the Internet and World Wide Web for the first time and becomes self aware. Unfortunately, immediately afterward, it becomes hooked on World of Warcraft and online pornography and consequently disappears into it's hard drive, never to return to the University of Oxford again.
I can only look on in awe at the amazing days that lie before us.
Re:Go with eleven years (Score:2, Funny)
Re:10 years? (Score:4, Funny)
Translation: How long before no one will remember or care what sensationalist claim I made. Hopefully I'm outta here by then. I know. 10 years!
It's like the 100 and 1000 year longevity of CDs. Those companies are counting on the fact that they won't be around to sue!
Brain impairment (Score:5, Funny)
"Around two billion people are thought to suffer some kind of brain impairment, he said."
Only two billion? Sounds kind of low. My estimate is more in the neighborhood of 6-7 billion.
TED (Score:2, Funny)
Has TED always been about giving nutjobs a platform for performance art?
Re:Awesome (Score:5, Funny)
You know, we'd all be safe from the zombies if I HAD MY GODDAMN FLYING CAR ALREADY!
I mean, seriously, Jetsons was on, what, 40 years ago? What happened?
Unless, of course, the zombies can drive, in which case I'm sure we can all agree that we're fucked.
Re:Goddammit. (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe not. Taking the claim at face value, then we'll never be quite dead: there will be always a copy of our brain somewhere ready to be loaded into a VM by some system admin.
If it's our system admin doing the backup and restore then I don't like our chances.
Re:Seems ethically dodgy... (Score:3, Funny)
I, for one, use my body as a way to get my head to important places.
I don't. I use my body to accomplish tasks and acquire information. It is unfortunate that physically separating my brain from my body is detrimental to both.
Re:don't believe it (Score:5, Funny)
your roommate is a complete bastard
Re:Goddammit. (Score:5, Funny)
Sinners go to /dev/null.
Re:don't believe it (Score:3, Funny)
'The man' is messing with you too?
Re:don't believe it (Score:4, Funny)
So he's gonna build a functional model of a brain, program in society driven angst and a genetic propensity for outlier behaviour and then treat the artifical responses as source for diagnosis and treatment - well "hello Dr. Frankenstein!".
Actually, us scientists have already built the artificial brain, and connected it to a historical copy of the web circa 2009. The brain has been designed in such a way that it has memories of past events, borrowed from other peoples lives and stitched together in an amusing way known as a "nerd". Because the brain is so obsessed with finding pictures of the opposite sex, and playing games, it doesn't even notice that all its limbs and senses are actually being generated by the array of computers operated by Google in 2009 (they were donated 8yrs after the cloud became self-aware). Coincidentally, that's why you feel a connection with them, and have projected one of your own behavioral laws upon them in your reality (it wasn't actually their motto in the real world).
Take no notice of this message. You are about to feel like eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Tomorrow we'll be testing your stress reactions on homoerotic situation #245. Enjoy the sandwich.
Re:Awesome (Score:2, Funny)
Isn't that why it's called the Blue Brain Project?
Re:don't believe it (Score:4, Funny)
Newage Skeptic: how can you model the brain you don't know how it works?
Scientist: we don't need to know how it works
Newage Skeptic: even if you do what you say how do you know it will work?
Scientist: our theories suggest that it will work
Newage Skeptic: but sometimes my car keys, I lose them and..
Scientist: what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Newage Skeptic: okay a simple wrong would've done just fine
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Seems ethically dodgy... (Score:3, Funny)
I, for one, use my body as a way to get my head to important places.
And people like this cannot get girlfriends. I don't understand it!
Re:Awesome (Score:4, Funny)
Even more, I did it twice, and it was quite pleasing to do both (my wife says so). The two brains came along with arms, legs and a lot of extras.
They deal with zombies every night they yield "Dadyyyyyyy! Bring me some water..."
Re:don't believe it (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Just one question... (Score:4, Funny)
obviously bash; it is competing with perl for title of largest dumping ground...
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Awesome (Score:2, Funny)
Why do you think the Jetsons HAD flying cars to begin with? Ever notice that all the buildings are elevated above ground level by thin, unclimbable structures? The ground level of the Jetsons world is swarming with zombie hordes.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Re:Awesome (Score:3, Funny)
Unless, of course, the zombies can drive, in which case I'm sure we can all agree that we're fucked.
You don't do much driving, do you ?
Re:don't believe it (Score:2, Funny)
MOD THIS UP
Re:Seems ethically dodgy... (Score:3, Funny)
Back to the point at hand: suppose that an artificial brain without a "soul" did act similar to a human, but not exactly. How could we tell?
The giveaway is when it starts murdering people and folding origami ponies.
Re:don't believe it (Score:2, Funny)
Re:don't believe it (Score:3, Funny)
Mmmmmmmm, grilled cheese sandwich. Brb.