Japanese Creating "Super Tuna"

Japanese Creating "Super Tuna" 280

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:41PM from the delicious-engineering dept.

motherpusbucket writes "The Telegraph reports that Japanese scientists hope to be breeding a so-called 'Super Tuna' within the next decade or so. They have about 60% of the genome mapped and expect to finish it in the next couple months. The new breed will grow faster, taste good, have resistance to disease and will totally kick your ass if you cross them."

Japanese Creating "Super Tuna"

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Obligatory..... (Score:5, Funny)

by segedunum ( 883035 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:45PM (#28560721)

Have they bred them with frickin' laser beams though?

Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

by Captain Splendid ( 673276 ) writes: <capsplendid.gmail@com> on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:45PM (#28560727) Homepage Journal

Teenage Kanji Ninja Tuna

It would be nice if they could add (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:48PM (#28560789)

A modify the DNA so that few dozen Sharks Fins appear on the new fish.
Perhaps they could save the real thing from extinction.
Then again the 'Green Lobby' would rise up against 'Genetically Modified Fish' Sigh.

Re:Obligatory (Score:2, Funny)

by davegravy ( 1019182 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:49PM (#28560821)

Davegravy slaps Captain Splendid around a bit with a Super Tuna

TUNAZILLA! (Score:4, Funny)

by wcrowe ( 94389 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:50PM (#28560845)

'nuf said...

Tuna Porn? (Score:4, Funny)

by basementman ( 1475159 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:52PM (#28560867) Homepage

I predict they will genetically enhance the necessary parts to incorporate them into the weird porn industry that thrives in Japan. After the tunas career is up they can still serve his enhanced parts as a rare delicacy in restaurants.

need an artificial ocean (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:53PM (#28560893)

As long as the ninja tuna are identified clearly so in the packaging, I whole-heartedly support this idea, but they should leave the wild tuna alone. I would even donate money to the Japanese if they would leave the wild tuna alone and create an artificial ocean with military protection so that the ninja tuna don't accidentally breed with wild tuna.

*SUPER* tuna? (Score:3, Funny)

by DoofusOfDeath ( 636671 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:56PM (#28560941)

Damn, and I thought husbands were already whipped.

Sorry Charlie... (Score:4, Funny)

by Em Emalb ( 452530 ) writes: <ememalb@gmaPARISil.com minus city> on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:56PM (#28560949) Homepage Journal

It's a tunami!

Re:tuna doesn't taste good? (Score:2, Funny)

by maxwell demon ( 590494 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:58PM (#28560993) Journal

No, what they mean is: Current tuna tastes excellent. Power tuna will merely taste good.

Re:Cue that eco-maniacs (Score:5, Funny)

by Lunoria ( 1496339 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:58PM (#28560999)

"Natural" tuna have had their genes altered through hundreds of years of breading.

Tuna comes pre-breaded now? Talk about a time saver!

No you may not Re:Tuna Overlords (Score:2, Funny)

by davidwr ( 791652 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @01:59PM (#28561019) Homepage Journal

May I be the first to welcome our new Tuna overloards...
No you may not [slashdot.org].
May I be the first to say you can tune a filesystem but you can't tuna fish. Oh wait, someone beat [livejournal.com] me to it.

Re:Fish Overlords (Score:5, Funny)

by vishbar ( 862440 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:08PM (#28561189)

Since this is Japan, we would need to be more worried about tentacles. Anything Japanese that has tentacles is bad, bad news for schoolgirls the world over.

Re:Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)

by maxume ( 22995 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:09PM (#28561207)

That sounds a little kinkier than necessary for the public internet.

oblig. (Score:3, Funny)

by mewsenews ( 251487 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:14PM (#28561295) Homepage

Stop having a boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.
-- Vince 'Slap Chop' Offer

Re:Sashimi (Score:5, Funny)

by lorenlal ( 164133 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:27PM (#28561511)

maybe, but what happens if the super tuna out competes and eats all non-super tuna?
Darwin wins. See, tuna made themselves to tasty that:
1) They'd be overfished.
2) We'd see that, and then make them EVEN BETTER and plentiful.
Well done tuna. You've won the genetic lottery.

I thought (Score:3, Funny)

by auric_dude ( 610172 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:29PM (#28561565)

that Green Peace had canned this line of research some time ago?

Re:Cue that eco-maniacs (Score:5, Funny)

by EraserMouseMan ( 847479 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:32PM (#28561605)

We should hunt them to near-extinction. Then they'll get put on the extinction list and all tuna fishing will be banned. Then my roommate will have to find a different terrible-smelling food to eat. . . in mass quantities . . . EVERY evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Japan... (Score:2, Funny)

by thervey ( 1216980 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:39PM (#28561725)

In Japan, super tuna eat you!

Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

by Lord Fury ( 977501 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:43PM (#28561799)

Teenage Kanji Ninja Tuna
Teenage Kanji Ninja Tuna
Teenage Kanji Ninja Tuna
Heroes in my sandwich
Tuna Power!

Re:Monsanto of the Sea? (Score:2, Funny)

by JustOK ( 667959 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @02:47PM (#28561885) Journal

wouldn't it be a rural legend?

Re:We 3 Tuna (Score:5, Funny)

by Critical Facilities ( 850111 ) * writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @03:16PM (#28562365)

Are you advocating that people try to grow fish in their gardens?

Re:Sorry Charlie... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @03:22PM (#28562511)

Starkist doesn't want Tuna with super taste, they want Tuna that taste super?!?!?!

Re:We 3 Tuna (Score:5, Funny)

by An ominous Cow art ( 320322 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @04:18PM (#28563633) Journal

Undoubtedly the first message from the Super Tuna Council will be:
ALL YOUR BAYS ARE BELONG TO US.

Re:Obligatory..... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @06:04PM (#28565171)

The joke has already been made for years on Slashdot. It's unnecessary to continue posting it.
You must be new here.

Re:Obligatory..... (Score:3, Funny)

by motorhead ( 82353 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @07:00PM (#28565785)

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish

Re:Sashimi (Score:5, Funny)

by 4181 ( 551316 ) writes: on Thursday July 02, 2009 @09:18PM (#28567073)

Perhaps developing tasty humans would address food and population issues simultaneously.

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Japanese Creating "Super Tuna" 280

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Japanese Creating "Super Tuna"

Obligatory..... (Score:5, Funny)

Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

It would be nice if they could add (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Obligatory (Score:2, Funny)

TUNAZILLA! (Score:4, Funny)

Tuna Porn? (Score:4, Funny)

need an artificial ocean (Score:1, Funny)

SUPER tuna? (Score:3, Funny)

Sorry Charlie... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:tuna doesn't taste good? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Cue that eco-maniacs (Score:5, Funny)

No you may not Re:Tuna Overlords (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Fish Overlords (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)

oblig. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Sashimi (Score:5, Funny)

I thought (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Cue that eco-maniacs (Score:5, Funny)

In Japan... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Monsanto of the Sea? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:We 3 Tuna (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Sorry Charlie... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:We 3 Tuna (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory..... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Obligatory..... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Sashimi (Score:5, Funny)

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Obligatory..... (Score:5, Funny)

Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

It would be nice if they could add (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Obligatory (Score:2, Funny)

TUNAZILLA! (Score:4, Funny)

Tuna Porn? (Score:4, Funny)

need an artificial ocean (Score:1, Funny)

*SUPER* tuna? (Score:3, Funny)

Sorry Charlie... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:tuna doesn't taste good? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Cue that eco-maniacs (Score:5, Funny)

No you may not Re:Tuna Overlords (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Fish Overlords (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)

oblig. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Sashimi (Score:5, Funny)

I thought (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Cue that eco-maniacs (Score:5, Funny)

In Japan... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Monsanto of the Sea? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:We 3 Tuna (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Sorry Charlie... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:We 3 Tuna (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory..... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Obligatory..... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Sashimi (Score:5, Funny)

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SUPER tuna? (Score:3, Funny)