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Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts 202

Posted by samzenpus
from the been-doing-a-lot-of-extra-credit-lately dept.
Sue Williams has been awarded a £20,000 grant by the Arts Council of Wales, to "explore cultural attitudes towards female buttocks." Sue plans to examine racial attitudes towards bottoms in Europe and Africa and create plaster casts of women's behinds to try to understand their place in contemporary culture. And here I've been studying the issue all these years for free like a sucker!

*

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Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts

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  • by plover (150551) * on Monday June 29, 2009 @11:24PM (#28524181) Homepage Journal
    I like big grants and I can not lie
    You other post-docs can't deny
    That when a sponsor walks in with a stupid-ass proposal
    A fat wallet at your disposal
    You get sprung
    Wanna pull up tough
    Cuz you notice that purse was stuffed
    Full of the cash you're needing
    I'm hooked and I can't stop spending

    Baby's got cash
    Baby's got cash
    Little in tha middle but she got big backers
  • by cptnapalm (120276) on Monday June 29, 2009 @11:29PM (#28524219)

    Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.

    • by jamesh (87723)

      I think the P.H.D. study is another program altogether. But you are welcome to apply.

    • Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.

      It's in the Astronomy class. Look under the topic of Uranus.

    • Remember when you were a kid? I bet you'd have loved to go to computer camp. Now that you work in computers, you'd never go to computer camp on your vacation; you'd go to a resort that gives you opportunities to go outside and play.

      I've been on a couple of paleontology digs. It's really cool hauling sacks of dirt for a few days, tolerable for a few weeks. Other tasks have different charm half-lives. Hiking through the badlands prospecting for bones that have washed out is probably has the longest appe

      • If your job was looking at asses all day long, I bet you'd want to spend your vacation in a monastery.

        I have to disagree. I understand your general point, but we're talking about getting paid to stare at butts. You know, butts! Those things we'd stare at 24/7 if we didn't have to take a break to eat! I've gotten tired of sports, of programming, and of listening to music, but never in my life have I thought, "you know, I've seen too many butts today." I'm not even sure if that's correct grammar because my brain has trouble parsing it. Forget the sound of one hand clapping. How many butts are too many? The question is meaningless!

      • by nizo (81281) *

        ...you'd want to spend your vacation...

        Vacation? Finally, a job where I am willing to work plenty of overtime hours!

  • by Starlon (1492461) on Monday June 29, 2009 @11:30PM (#28524227)
    I got dibs on breasts.
  • Hey! Somebody had to say it!

  • Kari Byron's debut (Score:4, Insightful)

    by spaceyhackerlady (462530) on Monday June 29, 2009 @11:52PM (#28524377)

    Remember Kari Byron's debut on Mythbusters?

    • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Yeeeeah..... one of the greatest episodes of Mythbusters.....

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykhSLNlx3n0

      0m 19sec....

    • Was that her debut? The ass episode? Wow. She's got one of the best asses though yow!
  • by whereiswaldo (459052) on Monday June 29, 2009 @11:53PM (#28524387) Journal

    My theory is there is a relationship between butts and breasts:

    Women with the nicest butts have smaller breasts.

    Women with larger breasts have pudgier butts.

    Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have fake breasts.

    My guess on the outcome of the study is that all straight men like looking at women's butts.

    That'll be 20k please. :)

    • Re:I've got a theory (Score:4, Interesting)

      by Tom (822) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @12:00AM (#28524427) Homepage Journal

      That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

      Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

      I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

      • by AuMatar (183847) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @12:19AM (#28524543)

        everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven

        One out of 3 ain't bad?

      • Wrong - it's an *educated* guess. And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against trying to confirm something that everyone already "knows".

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by dredwerker (757816)

        That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

        Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

        I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

        mundane........ sheeesh only on slashdot

      • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

        by Anonymous Coward

        And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

        Interesting fact: none of those things were ever widely believed.

        People have know the Earth was spherical since ancient times. Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another cont

        • Re:I've got a theory (Score:4, Informative)

          by Tom (822) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @10:12AM (#28528737) Homepage Journal

          Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another continent in the way.

          For one, that was fairly late, past the dark ages. Two, there was still a vocal minority (end of the 15th century!) that claimed he'd fall off the edge. Lately, the division of the world between Spain and Portugal that was made by the pope only works on the assumption of a flat earth, if you care to check it out. On a spherical world, you need two border lines, not one.

          Nobody (in the Christian west, at least) ever believed women have no souls. We're talking about a time when people practically worshipped the Virgin Mary. She was a woman, remember?

          Yes, as the vessel of the birth, not as herself. You can do the research yourself, I assure you the topic was under hot discussion by the so-called "intelligentia" of the time (aka priests).

          Nobody but children ever believed that heaven was just above the clouds.

          Weird, we have a lot of pictures that speak a different language, and art history experts say they weren't meant metaphorical in the sense we understand today.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

        Gravity might be important but I'm comfortable letting it do what its going to do. Women's butts on the other hand, well God made them for me to enjoy staring at and who am I to disobey God.

        People still don't know if women have souls, or if heaven isn't above the clouds and probably will never confirm it with an experiment. That would be a great research project: guaranteed funding for life.

      • by kv9 (697238)

        That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

        I can confirm his finds. I have studied these things extensively.

    • Unless i see proof in person of these specimens you talk about, i can't accept your theory.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by jonaskoelker (922170)

      Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have boyfriends.

      There's the real problem :(

    • and lesbian researchers.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by dargaud (518470)
      Reminds me of a story of a friend of a friend who found that her breast was too small. A friend of her told her to gain a bit of weight, as it would probably increase its size. She obliged, but it all went 'down there'. Upon the failure of said tactic, she went on a diet to revert to her original frame: she lost her breast entirely but kept the additional butt fat. She wanted to crucify her 'adviser'.
    • I don't care about all that. All I want to know is where do I sign up to be a part of the data gathering team?

  • Plaster? (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Jeff DeMaagd (2015) on Monday June 29, 2009 @11:57PM (#28524413) Homepage Journal

    I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans. I just don't see how plaster can do the job nearly as well given how gravity affects both plaster molding and human parts. The mass of the plaster can also affect how it molds a shape.

  • They could save them selves twenty grand by hiring me, I'd do it for free. Infact, amongst the things I investigate regularily, I have thoroughly studied the subject matter over the years and could go right ahead write you a paper now.
  • Please, please... (Score:2, Informative)

    by newcastlejon (1483695)
    At least call them arses. You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at (fanny will get you an altogether different response)
    • by interkin3tic (1469267) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @01:58AM (#28525043)

      You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at

      This is my biggest fear, meaning to say something serious about a butt in the UK and getting laughed at.

    • by Kupfernigk (1190345) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @02:53AM (#28525329)
      • Butt - a garden water container
      • Bottom - the polite word for the buttocks
      • Front bottom - the excruciatingly twee expression for the female pubic region. Lower middle class and evangelical Christians only.
      • Bum - depending on context, the buttocks, anal region or pubic region.
      • Arse - ambiguous: can mean either the buttocks, the anal region or the rectum. Best avoided by foreigners
      • Fanny - ambiguous, can mean either the buttocks or the female sexual apparatus depending on context. Always has a sexual connotation, though.
      • C**t - ambiguous, can mean either the female sexual apparatus or someone you disapprove of. Not safe for foreigners.
      • Quant, quaint or queynt - old English word meaning female pubic region. Also used in hedge funds as a swear word.

      The British, by the way, imagine Japanese to be a language full of double meanings and potential minefields.

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by jabithew (1340853)

        A couple of modifications;

        I've never heard fanny mean arse over here (SE England/London).
        I have heard bum to mean a person who is a waste of space as well.
        Also have heard arse to mean someone disapproved of.

        • by ErkDemon (1202789)
          Fanny has a gynaecological meaning in the UK (from the novel "Fanny Hill", I think), but means "butt" in the US.

          Hence the US term "fannypack", which has mildly amusing connotations if you're British (over here they're referred to as "bum bags").

          Similar transatlantic confusion regarding "prat". "Prat" in the US beans "buttock region", hence the US comedy term "pratfall", which is to fall on your arse in a comedic manner.
          But "prat" in the UK is again gynaecological. However, the UK meaning has become a b

          • by ErkDemon (1202789)
            PS, most people don't realise that the word "naff", as popularised by Princess Anne, is actually Elizabethan backslang for "fanny". Backslang was a way of disguising obscenities by saying them backwards.
        • by ErkDemon (1202789)
          I just remembered another one.

          "Fanny magnet".

          A fanny magnet is something that attracts women (as in, "Check out my new car, its a real fanny-magnet!").

          Obviously, "fanny magnet" only makes sense with the UK meaning of "fanny" as being something specific to women.

      • by 16Chapel (998683)
        Never head 'fanny' to mean the bum here in the UK.

        And despite it's negative connotations, you can quite freely call your best mate a c**t over here - it's almost a term of friendship in some parts of south London...
      • I never heard of Quant before, sounds suspiciously like the etymological root for C**t. However am I the only one who thinks that the existence of that meaning for Quant means all the headlines about the financial Quants screwing up the economy become puns?

      • Quaint is used to mean charmingly odd or unfamiliar: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/quaint [thefreedictionary.com]

      • by ErkDemon (1202789)
        The British also have Cockney rhyming slang, originally evolved by the East London criminal community as a way of confusing eavesdroppers in pubs.

        So if we take the film "Carry on up the Khyber [wikipedia.org]" (a film stuffed with double-entendres) and translate the title:

        "Khyber" = "Khyber Pass [wikipedia.org]" (a strategic location on what's now the Afghan-Pakistan border)

        = "arse".

    • I think what probably happened west of the atlantic is that parents when asked what a fanny was patted their tots on the behind and said right there. It was in the general area but the imprecision led to much confusion about and eventual redefinition of the word.
    • by weicco (645927)

      And I thought we already had an application in Facebook called "Dream buttockses (for men only)" or something!

  • by SpaghettiPattern (609814) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @12:12AM (#28524509)
    There is no honor in accepting gifts to study women's derriere. A cavalier does this pro deo and pro patria. Indeed I do so vigorously and relentlessly.

    I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces.

    If anything, differences in skin, religion and culture intensify our bond as we admire in reverend awe every single instance. (However, when our duties are accomplished we might take up where we left and proceed with cracking each other's sculls.)

    Now I shall drink tea whilst adopting the erected wee finger position.

    To women's backsides we all cheer hooray!
    • by Nutria (679911)

      admire in reverend awe every single instance.

      Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.

      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        admire in reverend awe every single instance.

        Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.

        The indoctrination machine proclaiming that sufferer of anorexia are sexy and desirable works miracles. IMHO dimension is not a pejorative factor of the women's behind. Shape of the derriere, the transition to and coherence with other body parts can make my charisma grow like a mountain flower in spring.

        Free yourself from the tyranny of the motion picture industry! The truth induced on you by them simply isn't. Appreciate the female behind by considering all shapes and forms. And contemplate many, many s

        • by Nutria (679911)

          The indoctrination machine proclaiming that sufferer of anorexia are sexy and desirable works miracles. IMHO dimension is not a pejorative factor of the women's behind.

          Certainly I did not say what you imply that I said...

        • And contemplate many, many shapes before judging.

          Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain:

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by argStyopa (232550)

      "I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces."

      Its one of the things that lets me remain optimistic that there is indeed, still hope in our world.

      No matter how politically correct the world gets, no matter how relentless the indoctrination of gender respect and overall metrosexualization of our culture generally...men are ultimately men.

      In any context, from the most blue-collar industrial

  • by mcwop (31034) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @12:15AM (#28524525) Homepage
    Fewer if you factor in cover charge, and drinks. Just stay out of the VIP room.
  • by rattaroaz (1491445) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @12:21AM (#28524547)
    I always wanted to study abroad, but now he gets paid for it? Neat!
  • Economy (Score:4, Funny)

    by Daswolfen (1277224) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @12:21AM (#28524549)

    I believe this is what the call a stimulus package... or do I have that backwards? :P

  • When I was a pimply, hormone-addled teen going thru puberty, I could identify every female in my high school, from behind, at a distance of up to a quarter mile.

    Despite the prevalence of ultra-tight acid-washed jeans in the early 80's, my skill didn't rely solely on shape, oh no. A detailed analysis of cyclic ambulatory gluteal displacement was key to identification.

    I thought I was the only one who had this talent, until much later when I learned it is actually common. (Same goes for the "mental VCR," aka spankbank, but that's another story.)

    Is this going to be a part of the study?

  • As in, you know, behinds.


    Ahem.
  • I find the exclusion of Asian buttocks interesting, but understandable given the absence of booty on the typical Asian female.

    Here [flickr.com] is a representative example.

  • by Lord Kano (13027) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @01:40AM (#28524947) Homepage Journal

    Black guys like the biggest asses. White guys like smaller asses. Asian guys like the smallest asses.

    Can I have 20K now?

    LK

    • actually large, muscular buttocks do correlate with the ability to jump higher [ref: "White Men Can't Jump"]
      • by qc_dk (734452)

        Then why are the best high jumpers white (male or female)?

        I would think that jumping high uses the front of the thigh more, while running uses the buttocks and
        the back of the thigh more.

        • by hey! (33014)

          Possibly because there are more participants in track and that's a highly specialized skill.

          In any case, there isn't any any single skill you can call "jumping". A body ideal for stuffing a basketball isn't necessarily ideal for the high jump. That said, jumping in general favors slim but strong people with well balanced development. There's also definitely a "weak link" effect; if your powerful buttocks drive their force through a weak calf, you end up losing power. When I competed in Chinese martial

  • I wonder if he'll manage to make that a boring subject.

    "Gosh! Butt's test again! I'm sick of this subject!"

  • Wish that i could 'bum' around all day -- but i guess i'd end up looking like an 'ass', because i'd be the 'butt' of so many jokes. It's a bum job, but someone has to do it. Guess he's doing it for 'posterior'ity.
  • The artist Jamie McCartney of Brighton body castings http://www.brightonbodycasting.com/about-jamie-mccartney.php [brightonbodycasting.com] produces some closely related works featured in his Design A Vagina series that some may find unsuitable and NSFW http://www.brightonbodycasting.com/design-a-vagina.php [brightonbodycasting.com]
  • by pandrijeczko (588093) on Tuesday June 30, 2009 @07:30AM (#28526663)

    For those non-British residents amongst you, "The Sun" is an utter rag of a newspaper that uses any excuse to print parts of the female anatomy for the sake of an article - Page 3 of the paper daily has a topless model.

    I'm a lover of the female anatomy as much as any other red-blooded male, but ignore anything published in it or anything else owned by Rupert Murdoch.

    I would not even wipe my backside on it following a visit to the toilet, just in case I caught something from it.

  • http://assmatrix.com/ [assmatrix.com] This fellow has been spearheading ass based research for the past 10 years.

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