Cows That Burp Less Methane to Be Bred 366
Posted
by
samzenpus
from the belching-bovines dept.
from the belching-bovines dept.
Canadian scientists are breeding a type of cow that burps less, in an attempt to reduce greenhouse gases. Cows are responsible for almost 75% of total methane emissions, mostly coming from burps. Stephen Moore, professor of agricultural, food and nutritional science at the University of Alberta, hopes the refined bovines will produce 25 per cent less methane. Nancy Hirshberg, spokesman for Stonyfield Farm says, "If every US dairy farmer reduced emissions by 12 per cent it would be equal to about half a million cars being taken off the road."
More cowbell (Score:3, Funny)
More cowbell [wikipedia.org], less cow-burp.
Eat Mor Chikin? (Score:4, Funny)
Or perhaps we should pig out on pork, the other white meat.
In unrelated news... (Score:4, Funny)
Ridiculous (Score:5, Funny)
Just udderly ridiculous!
Re:Cool...less burps! Green cows! (Score:2, Funny)
But what about farts?
--
I live in my mom's basement, but I'm 15.
Ah, I see now.... :)
Eyes do funny things... (Score:3, Funny)
Did anyone else read that as taking "half a million cows ... off the road"? No? Just me, then.
Re:In unrelated news... (Score:4, Funny)
An unexplained rash of spontaneous cow explosions has resulted in a glut in the Canadian beef market...
Actually the glut is now all around and outside the Canadian beef market...
Re:Fix the consumers (Score:3, Funny)
Most humans are already predisposed towards the herbivore end, that's why we breed so many cows, rather than, say, bobcats.
-dZ.
I don't get it... (Score:4, Funny)
Why isn't this posted as "Idle"?
Re:Easy alternative (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Easy alternative (Score:5, Funny)
Cow Tech (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Easy alternative (Score:5, Funny)
Agreed; and humans do a lot of things that other animals would do if they could.
I mean, cats didn't evolve to eat food out of tins, but if your cat could work a can opener then he'd be done with you for good.
Re:Easy alternative (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Fix the consumers (Score:5, Funny)
Most humans are already predisposed towards the herbivore end, that's why we breed so many cows, rather than, say, bobcats.
Well, as spokesperson for the National Bobcat Meat Council, all I can say is that you're missing out!
For the consumer, bobcat is a wonderful choice. Bobcat is delicious, naturally lean, high in vitamins and minerals, and, let's face it, a completely awesome thing to say you are eating. Imagine you're in your backyard at your grill, talking to your competitive neighbor Bill over the fence. "Hey Bill, how's it going?" you say. "Oh not bad, just grilling up some pork sausage on my new 80,000 btu propane grill. How bout you?" Bill says. "Oh, not bad, slumming it with my measly 20,000 btu grill... making bobcat burgers!" Bill is stunned. "Oh wow! You are my king! I worship you!" he says in one of those awkward vaguely homo-erotic moments that seem to happen around Bill a little too often. But he is right -- bobcat is the burger of kings.
And for the rancher, bobcat presents many exciting opportunities as well. For one, wolves and other predators will not fuck with your livestock. You can even put your pig or goat pens -- needed to feed the bobcats -- in the middle of the bobcat pens and provide the ultimate in protection for your herbivore stock as well! Also, if you're tired of complacent cows and the tedious and unexciting process of herding them for slaughter, well, you're in for a thrill! Any wannabe cowboy brand a cow, but come at a bobcat with a glowing red brand and get ready to prove your mandhood! Compare scars with other bobcatboys and see who really has what it takes! I had one rancher tell me that they were thinking of getting out of the business due to the lack of physical danger, until I took him on a tour of a bobcat ranch and one of the feisty rascals hiding in a dark corner nearly took his face off. Well I had him signed up that very day to start his own bobcat ranch!
Okay... I'm not going to lie. Bobcat ranching is hell. They're mean, ornery, antisocial, dangerous, and have no compunction about going for the junk. The only thing that rancher signed was the out-of-court settlement with the National Bobcat Meat Council for his injuries. But seriously, I need to push these bobcat ranches or I'm going to lose my job. We'll even start you out with a bunch of free livestock! We're up to our fucking necks in bobcats, come on take some off our hands. They aren't even that tasty but god damn cut me some slack I'm trying to move product here. Eat some fucking bobcat already!
- Chris Burke, spokesperson, National Bobcat Meat Council. NBMC says: "Eat some fucking bobcat already!"(tm)
Re:Easy alternative (Score:1, Funny)
Cars shouldn't even exist. Show me one other animal who builds itself an inanimate, internal combustion vehicle that runs on fossilized micro-organisms.
a) Human infants' vehicle should only be one animal: his/her mother.
b) Human adults should only ride horses, but only bareback.
I've never understood why humans built cars. They aren't natural.
Re:Easy alternative (Score:5, Funny)
cat: cannot open can of food
~#
Damn.