Steve Jobs Had a Liver Transplant Two Months Ago 436
evw writes "The Wall Street Journal reports that Steve Jobs had a liver transplant two months ago (subscription required, alternative coverage is available based on the WSJ's report). He is on track to return to work at the end of June. 'William Hawkins, a doctor specializing in pancreatic and gastrointestinal surgery at Washington University in St. Louis, Mo., said that the type of slow-growing pancreatic tumor Mr. Jobs had will commonly metastasize in another organ during a patient's lifetime, and that the organ is usually the liver. ... Having the procedure done in Tennessee makes sense because its list of patients waiting for transplants is shorter than in many other states.' There are no residency requirements for transplants."
Re:How much (Score:5, Funny)
theres was probably a line of apple fanboys queuing to give their livers to steve
Re:2 Months is very fast (Score:3, Funny)
Never underestimate the awesome power of reality distortion fields.
Re:How much (Score:5, Funny)
He's just practicing that ol' "Buy American!" bit instead of running off to China like the rest of the rich and abusive.
This comes as quite a surprise. (Score:5, Funny)
I mean, usually you can't upgrade the components in Apple stuff very easily.
In all seriousness, though, I wish him well. Sounds like an unpleasant ordeal.
Re:2 Months is very fast (Score:5, Funny)
Exactly! Add to that the fact that the surgeons simply needed to rotate Steve by 90 degrees to have all his internal organs shift to 'landscape mode' for easy access and I am sure the surgery was a breeze.
Re:This comes as quite a surprise. (Score:3, Funny)
I mean, usually you can't upgrade the components in Apple stuff very easily.
Ah, but you see, Jobs is an older model and comes with the superbly designed and easily upgradeable outrigger body. [wikipedia.org]
Subscription Required (Score:5, Funny)
When I read the summary, it came across as having a transplant requires a subscription.
Re:2 Months is very fast (Score:5, Funny)
Any medical care that Ken Lay gets would have to be the very best since he's been dead for 3 years. But I get your point ;-)
Re:How much (Score:5, Funny)
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to give your focus to my newest creation - the iLiver. The iLiver can work with our other iProducts, such as the iFood or iDrink..."
"Mr Jobs, I heard that it only handles DRM-content...I enjoy buying my food and drink at this bar down the road..."
"Only DRM-enabled goods purchased at the Apple Store can be accepted by the iLiver. But this is not a problem, with the Apple Store now hosting thousands of digestible products available to buy."
Re:Why a liver transplant? (Score:3, Funny)
Can someone explain to me why they would give him a liver transplant now?
Yeah; his old liver was last year's model, and a new version in a range of smart-looking colours had just come out. Jobs didn't want to risk being seen as unfashionable or behind the times.
Also, he wants a kidney transplant as well, but the new kidneys don't work with the older model livers.
Zombie Steve Jobs has system upgrade (Score:5, Funny)
Steve Jobs, visionary leader of Apple Computer, has died -- and come back, better and stronger [today.com].
"They don't call it the Jesus Phone for nothing," Jobs laughed with reporters, before eating their tasty, tasty brains.
Jobs' new cyborg arsenal includes wifi, 3G, laser cannons, a flame thrower and a can opener, all running on Mac OS X Robosteve. Bundled applications include an enhanced hypnotic force field based on the one he uses at MacWorld keynotes. "I can't wait to try it on Bill," he said.
Disney, in which Jobs is the single largest shareholder, remained unaffected. "Steve's just working with the way we do things here," said the disembodied computer-hosted soul of Walt Disney, who was decanted to a computer in 1966 to avoid being declared legally dead, so that copyright in his works would never, ever run out.
refurbished (Score:4, Funny)
Re:can Americans tell me.. (Score:3, Funny)
Most of these sorts of horror stories turn out to by myths when they are investigated.
Re:2 Months is very fast (Score:3, Funny)
Nah.. they probably just downloaded the "iSurgery" app for their iPhone.
Re:Zombie Steve Jobs has system upgrade (Score:3, Funny)
"Jobs laughed with reporters, before eating their tasty, tasty brains."
So that's how he stays so thin!
I'm not sure that's enough for most people to survive on.
Re:2 Months is very fast (Score:4, Funny)
Why "the very best"? It's not like any treatment he gets is going to kill him or anything.
Re:nice to see (Score:4, Funny)
I'll drink to that!
Re:How much (Score:3, Funny)
theres was probably a line of apple fanboys queuing to give their livers to steve
To be fair, if a fanboy gives their liver, they can't line up for the next iPhone. This is basic Fanboy 101.
This is also why Steve Ballmer hasn't received a heart.
As for RMS and a shave, I don't know. I'm hoping they'll cover it in Fanboy 102...
Re:How much (Score:2, Funny)