Texas Makes Zombie Fire Ants 398
eldavojohn writes "What do you do when a foreign species has been introduced to your land from another continent? Bring over the natural predator from the other continent. Scientists in Texas have introduced four kinds of phorid flies from South America to fight fire ants. These USDA approved flies dive bomb ants and lay an egg inside the ant. The maggot hatches and eats away juicy tender delicious ant brain until the ant is nothing more than a zombie that wanders around for two weeks before the head falls off and the ant dies. A couple of these flies will cause the ants to modify their behavior and this will be a very slow acting solution to curb the $1 billion in damage these ants do to Texas cattle ranches and — oddly enough — electrical equipment like circuit breakers. You may remember zombifying parasites hitting insects like cockroaches."
Anonymous Coward (Score:4, Funny)
I for one welcome our new Zombie Fire Ant overlords.
Eh. (Score:5, Funny)
Misleading Headline (Score:5, Funny)
My first thought was "Why does Texas need a zombie to terminate the employment of ants, and how did they get a job in the first place?"
Then I realized, this is Texas, afterall.
I tell you what (Score:5, Funny)
This is what those environmentalists should be doing. Using nature against nature in ways that can help man.
---Hank Hill of Arlen, TX
Obilgatory Simpsons (Score:5, Funny)
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
This is ridiculous (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Way to fuck over the native ants, Texas. Not to mention any other unpredictable side-effects, which, when talking about introduced species, are /ALWAYS BAD/.
Too true.
Exhibit A: American colonials
Re:What stupidity. (Score:4, Funny)
Yep, you may have heard of the cane toads we have here in Australia. They were introduced to kill off cane beetles - well, there's been more than a few side effects of that particular decision.
Of course, you've just introduced a bug that drills itself into animals' brains and eats them, without killing the animal itself till some time later. How could that possibly go wrong?
Silver bullet impact (Score:5, Funny)
"These are very slow acting," Plowes said. "It's more like a cumulative impact measured across a time frame of years. It's not an immediate silver bullet impact."
Well of course there's no silver bullet impact for zombie fire ants, but if we need to get rid of some werewolf fire ants, the silver bullets might do the trick!
I can see it now... (Score:2, Funny)
Coming this summer to a theatre near you:
Texas Zombie Ant Chainsaw Massacre!
How's that for a mashup?
Re:I for one (Score:5, Funny)
I for one don't welcome your tired unfunny cliche use.
Re:What stupidity. (Score:2, Funny)
uh oh (Score:5, Funny)
When are the Russians going to get around to linking all these zombies into a botnet? Or would that be a bugnet?
Re:Eh. (Score:5, Funny)
I think they've already gotten to the politicians first. The brain dead are sometimes hard to tell apart from normal people.
Re:I want some zombie making flies (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Anonymous Coward (Score:5, Funny)
I for one welcome our new Zombie Fire Ant overlords.
Somebody with an ant farm moderated you a Troll.
Porky Pig tried this once. (Score:5, Funny)
Porky Pig tried this once in an old Bug Bunny cartoon.
He had a mouse problem, so he bought a cat.
When Porky Pig went to bed, the cat invited all of his friends over and they got wasted played the piano loudly and sang drinking songs. One of the cats had a lampshade on his head and everything.
When Porky Pig got fed up with this, he bought a dog. How he found a place in the 50's or 60's that sold dogs in the middle of the night is anyone's guess. He let the dog loose in the house and waited.
The cats got the dog drunk and he was singing with them in about 30 seconds.
So obviously these flies are eventually going to get drunk and sing, which is pretty cool, making this plan sweet.
Re:What stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Ex-wife (Score:4, Funny)
Can I get something like this for my ex-wife?
Re:What stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Unfortunately, I learned this fascinating fact after my visit to Texas. I was particularly saddened to discover that my girlfriend had been previously aware of it; but had decided to head off my enthusiasm for dubiously sensible electricity experiments by not telling me at the time.
Re:What stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Porky Pig tried this once. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Anonymous Coward (Score:5, Funny)
Just like... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What stupidity. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What stupidity. (Score:2, Funny)
Speaking of congress, do these foreign fly workers have the appropriate visa? With such high unemployment I would hate to see more American ant-killing flies lose their jobs!
Re:Mod Parent Down if you are Jewish (Score:3, Funny)
hmm, is this is fork of openldap that I don't know about?
Re:What stupidity. (Score:4, Funny)
Both of my older sons can recite the list of all the Pokemon... nothing could be more diverse than that.
Re:What stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Listen Jimmy, if a zombie fire ant ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! Zombie fire ants crawl in through your ear and feed on your brains while you're asleep, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL THEM ZOMBIES?
Re:Australians have a simpler solution (Score:3, Funny)
The worst part (Score:2, Funny)
And do you know the worst part, Jimmy? They don't kill you right away. No, they paralyze you and then they feast, then they lay eggs inside your head and you're still alive as the little ones crawl out through your nose and mouth, and eventually, your eyes.
Now go to bed, grampa hears something in the walls he's got to deal with.
Re:Just like... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Misleading Headline (Score:5, Funny)
I take it you don't have 'experts exchange' in Denmark?
You may remember (Score:5, Funny)
Hi, I'm a zombifying parasite. You may remember me from such insects as cockroaches and grasshoppers.
Re:I want some zombie making flies (Score:4, Funny)
Yes, but the probability of her having a real vagina is 99,99%.
shock headline (Score:4, Funny)
It's 6:23 in the AM, and this is what's sitting on my RSS reader:
Some days you just want to crawl back into bed.
Re:Just like... (Score:3, Funny)
Meet the new overlords, same as the old overlords.
Dude, 01/20/09 was several months ago.
Animal (Score:5, Funny)
Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Screw taxonomy. If it moves, it's an animal, eat it. If it don't move, it might be vegetable, eat it. If it wasn't a vegetable, you needed your minerals anyway.
Re:Misleading Headline (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What stupidity. (Score:1, Funny)
That's the beautiful part - come winter, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
Re:The CSIRO would disagree with you (Score:4, Funny)
(Fundamentally altering the environment and driving megafauna to extinction) worked for the aborigines.
Shame on you for not realizing that only White European Americans are allowed to be criticized. Brown People are allowed to do any fscking thing they want, because they are "closer to nature". And oppressed by the White Man, even 20,000 years ago.
Re:Just like... (Score:3, Funny)
Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos.
Re:Occam's Razor & Peter Principle (Score:3, Funny)
That's not funny, you asshole. Relativists sort of killed my father, and kinda raped my mother. Well.... It's sort of a grey area, what they did...
another solution (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Just like... (Score:5, Funny)
Spawn more overlords!
Re:Bring the over-overlords! (Score:2, Funny)
I know an old Texan ... ...
who imported a fly
I don't know why
he imported a fly
Perhaps he'll die.