WHO Raises Swine Flu Threat Level 557
Solarch writes "Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, the WHO raised the pandemic threat level for H1N1 "swine flu" to 5. Global media outlets(such as CNN, Fox News, and the BBC) preempted normal broadcast coverage and immediately published stories on their websites. To clarify, the WHO's elevation is mainly a sign to governments that the virus is spreading quickly and that steps should be taken on a governmental level to stage supplies and medicines to combat a possible pandemic. Unfortunately, broadcast coverage focused on phrases like 'pandemic imminent' (CNN marquee).
In other news, patient zero, the medical term for the initial human vector of a disease, has been tentatively identified in Mexico."
I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
The who (Score:5, Funny)
""Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, the WHO raised the pandemic threat level for H1N1 "swine flu" to 5."
Wow. I knew they had good music but I did not know Peter Townshend was in charge of changing pandemic threat levels.
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:5, Funny)
> Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it
> would imply if I caught it...
Then call it Mexican flu.
The WHO just raised it again (Score:1, Funny)
Nigel Tufnel: You see, most organizations, you know, will be warning at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your warning. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One warninger.
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
WHO's on first.
Doesn't scare me at all (Score:5, Funny)
The media can do what they will with this non-story.
I'm safe - I don't believe in that e-vo-lution crap, so this new disease could not have evolved from swine! It's all just pig nonsense.
I'm going back to prepare a round of raw bacon sushi!
Just a distraction (Score:5, Funny)
Bah, we all should know this "swine flu" is actually a well orchestrated distraction from our real threat.
ZOMBIES!
Fear not the Swine Flu pandemic. Fear instead the imminent Zombie pandemic.
Unless of course this is just phase 1...
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
Clearly, you are one confused man.
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:4, Funny)
Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it would imply if I caught it...
You're thinking of Swine Syphillis.
Re:The who (Score:5, Funny)
If Spinal Tap was in charge the pandemic threat level would go to 11.
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:3, Funny)
Now that's just insulting.
Who? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
WHOosh.
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:5, Funny)
Don't kid yourself, slashdot-netizen, chances are you don't get enough human interaction or even sunlight to risk infection. You're as good as immune.
Swine Flu (Score:5, Funny)
Response From President Of Madagascar (Score:1, Funny)
SHUT! DOWN! EVERYTHING!
Governments are already taking huge action (Score:5, Funny)
There you go again (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
Thanks for that. We Won't Get Fooled Again.
Re:I dunno? (Score:2, Funny)
What's on first?
Re:Just a distraction (Score:3, Funny)
Unless of course this is just phase 1...
Yeah, I'm afraid you have - Pink Eye. I'd give you topical medicine, but I don't wanna touch ya.
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Semi-Pandemic (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:1, Funny)
> Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it
> would imply if I caught it...
Then call it Mexican flu.
That's better?
This is how it always starts.... (Score:5, Funny)
This is how it always starts... [photobucket.com]
Re:No evidence for "Cytokine Storm" (Score:3, Funny)
There is no clear, obvious reason for a higher morality rate across Mexico, including and especially in the downtown Mexico City hospitals, than in the US.
Well I heard that the hospital gowns in Mexico actually close in the back and cover the ass completely. If that isn't reason for a higher morality rate, then I don't know what would be...
Re:Doesn't scare me at all (Score:1, Funny)
WARNING: Parent poster is too intelligent to understand sarcasm.
Re:I dunno? (Score:2, Funny)
No, silly, they mean DOCTOR Who. Apparently he's already located Patient Zero:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/gallery/s3_04-05gallery/800/51.jpg [bbc.co.uk]
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
Chalmers: "Well, Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team, and I was wondering, who's on first, eh?"
Skinner: "Yes. Not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of 'Who' is on first."
Chalmers: "Well that's just great, Seymour! We've been out here six seconds and you've already managed to blow the routine!"
It's OK, pandemics are natural (Score:4, Funny)
As a bonus, it's "green". Anyone who succumbs to this will naturally reduce their carbon footprint.
Re:I'll repeat what I heard elsewhere (Score:4, Funny)
Some doc posted some information on Boing Boing, they don't believe that swine flu is causing Cytokine Storms.
Info here [boingboing.net]
I think we'll be safe from an Aporkalypse.
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
Costello: Well then who sets the swine flu threat level?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the group's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The group that sets the level.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The group that...
Abbott: Who!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who sets the level!
Abbott: That's the group's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Look, you got a group that sets the level?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the group's name that sets the swine flu level.
Abbott: No. WHAT is the Web Hypertext Application Technology Working Group. [wikipedia.org]
Costello: I'm not asking you who's the Web Hypertext Application Technology Working Group.
Abbott: Who sets the level!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
I've seen this episode... (Score:5, Funny)
The Dr and Rose appear on a spaceship cunningly disguised as a planet only to find there's a mysterious disease that's killing spectacularly low numbers of people who all happen to live in the same city. Normally he wouldn't worry about it but Rose manages to get infected so the Dr raises the threat level to OMG. He works night and day to find a cure only to be forced to infect himself, die from the disease, but not really as his seemingly magic, but really explainable in materialistic terms, Time Lord powers cause him to regenerate in the form of Tom Baker.
He draws some of his own blood with his sonic screwdriver and, treats Rose, who makes a full recovery. As a gesture of good will, and for the episode to end on a relative high note (despite Tom Baker's haggard appearance), he takes the TARDIS into a low "earth" orbit and sprays the serum into the jet stream, thus curing and inoculating most of the world. The Dr and Rose leave for better times.
Just moments later the Vogons appear and destroy the world to make way for hyperspace bypass.
Dr :WHO (Score:1, Funny)
I guess we need the help of The Doctor, and Martha Jones. If it spreads to Wales, then Torchwood can help.
Terrible name (Score:5, Funny)
Swine flu is a horrible name.
I'm going to call it "bacon lung".
Everything's better with bacon.
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:5, Funny)
Just make sure you don't get caught downloading the iraq war. With all the money they put into it, I don't think they'd be happy to find it being torrented.
Re:From a Hot Zone (Score:2, Funny)
it might be a wise idea to do these things even when you're not in the epicenter of a hot zone
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:3, Funny)
You mean herpes is kosher, so they don't have to change its name?
You really have to be Jewish to realize what an idiot this guy is. But if you're not, you can sort of get the idea.
Re:I dunno? (Score:3, Funny)
We all know it's the VIRAL GPL (Genes of Pig Linux)
Re:Please let it be!! (Score:3, Funny)
Sounds like a Mexican standoff with the religious party!
Re:I dunno? (Score:5, Funny)
You are all making jokes but you are missing the big picture. The WHO is an agency of the United Nations, and they *want* you to panic so they can take over your government! Haven't you people learned nothing from Deus Ex!?
Re:Kind of reminds me... (Score:4, Funny)
I call it weaponized bacon.
Re:Doesn't scare me at all (Score:3, Funny)
Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160ÂF kills the swine flu virus
Good! now I know what to do if I get swine flu!!
... oh wait
Re:I dunno? (Score:3, Funny)
WHO let the pigs out? (Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink)
WHO let the pigs out? (Oink, Oink, Oink, Oink)
New twist on an old rhyme (Score:2, Funny)
A pocket full of tissues
Arriba Arriba
We all fall down.