Town Fights Cricket Plague With Led Zeppelin 190
The residents of Tuscarora, Nevada are getting ready to fight the annual invasion of mormon crickets with the power of Rock-N-Roll. Trial and error has shown that the crickets don't think much of Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones. The residents circle the town with boomboxes at regular intervals to drive off the millions of crickets. "It is part of our arsenal. You'll wake up and there'll be one sitting on your forehead, looking at you." says Laura Moore, an unemployed college professor and one of the town's 13 residents. The crickets devastate crops, cause slicks on the highway and evidently love rap.
Well... (Score:5, Funny)
I suppose that ends all speculation that rap isn't cricket, eh, old man?
the Devil's music. (Score:2, Funny)
PC police (Score:5, Funny)
The crickets devastate crops, cause slicks on the highway and evidently love rap.
That's racist.
LOL, it's cricket *bugs* (Score:5, Funny)
At first, I thought they were trying to get rid of haughty Englishmen with funny bats!
I had to do it (Score:5, Funny)
I'll go ahead and hit myself for that one.
I though I was the only one. (Score:2, Funny)
Interesting article (Score:4, Funny)
FTA: Rock music blaring from boomboxes has proved one of the best defenses against an annual invasion of Mormon crickets.
Yeah, but you get one alone and he'll drink all your beer.
Most hated song (Score:5, Funny)
I guess they really must hate "Trampled Underfoot".
Re:PC police (Score:5, Funny)
The joke writes itself. (Score:5, Funny)
In addition to Rock n Roll, the mormon crickets are repelled by alchohol, caffine, premarital sex, and gay marriage.
Re:Well... (Score:3, Funny)
I suppose that ends all speculation that rap isn't cricket, eh, old man?
I didn't realize Buddy Holly even played rap.
Re:I had to do it (Score:3, Funny)
That would be the day...
Re:Well... (Score:5, Funny)
"rap" 75% of the word "crap".
Impressive find! Semi-relatedly, I think you just proved to have 75% of the wit necessary to start writing rap.
Much better idea (Score:3, Funny)
Just put each cricket in a little box with a caterpillar. That will teach them not to screw with your town.
Re:Well... (Score:5, Funny)
About 14% country
And 75% rap
These are the components
of 100% crap
Thumping and bumping
And your old belt buckle
A gat and a nine
and your old truck'll...
[chorus]:
Stupid and ig-nor-ent
Bumpkin and ghetto
It ain't no libretto
It's just 100 per cent
crap.
Chords are G, A, and E. Bass line is subsonic and at least 12 db higher than the vocals. Wear a kerchief and cowboy boots when performing. Ad libbing about your dog is permitted.
Re:Most hated song (Score:5, Funny)
"Unemployed college professor"? (Score:5, Funny)
... says Laura Moore, an unemployed college professor and one of the town's 13 residents
If you're unemployed, you're not a college professor. You're a former college professor, or a wannabe college professor. Also, maybe a town of 13 doesn't have a lot of college professor openings?
Re:Well... (Score:5, Funny)
I think that the idea that they like rap was just invented by the local parents.
"If you keep listening to that, the mormon crickets will come and get you!"
I'll have to remember that trick for when mine are old enough to start playing crap on the radio. "Sorry, m'boy. The only way we can keep the boogy-man away is to spin up some of Dad's Floyd albums. Maybe you can listen to your music really quietly in the basement."
Re:"Unemployed college professor"? (Score:5, Funny)
If you're unemployed, you're not a college professor.
Bah, that's as stupid as saying that I'm not an unemployed Divine Emperor of Everything! And I'd crush you beneath my boot heel (or rather order my underlings to crush you) for saying such a thing. At least as soon as a position opens up...
Re:copyright violation (Score:3, Funny)
So what are you going to do - sue the crickets for being illegally repelled by Led Zepplin?
ps. That's a sentence I'd never thought I'd write
Re:Well... (Score:5, Funny)
"rap" 75% of the word "crap".
"classical" 100% of the word "ass".
Seriously, how long have you been quoting that stupid cliche......
Re:Most hated song (Score:4, Funny)
But "robert" plants leave them Dazed and Confused.
Pun (Score:5, Funny)
Not that shocking -- they normally listen to the beetles.
Re:"Mormon Crickets: Neither mormon nor cricket... (Score:5, Funny)
Mormon Crickets are also not only not Mormons, they're not crickets either. They're shieldbacked katydids.
"... shieldbacked katydids?" Please do not use these abstruse metric or imperial system units. What are they in Texan talk: Varmints or Critters?
They're also cannibals.
Great house pets. No need to buy pet food, they just "feed themselves."
And polygamists.
Well, that sounds interestings. Send some over. I hope they will be more entertaining than the Presbyterian Toads.
Re:"Mormon Crickets: Neither mormon nor cricket... (Score:3, Funny)
They're also ... polygamists.
So they at least used to be Mormon?
Re:copyright violation (Score:5, Funny)
Playing copyrighted music out in the open like that?! Better hope the RIAA doesn't get wind of this.
Did you even read the summary? Their music wards off pests.
But I don't like Zeppelin (Score:1, Funny)
Can't they use Iron Butterfly?
Re:Well... (Score:4, Funny)
<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c. ...
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty>
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall
http://bash.org/?329292 [bash.org]
Re:I wonder... (Score:3, Funny)
How about Iron Butterfly?
Re:Not the best article (Score:3, Funny)