NASA To Announce Module Name On Colbert Show

olddotter noted that NASA's Facebook page says "NASA's newest module for the International Space Station will get a new name on April 14. The agency plans to make the announcement with the help of Expedition 14 and 15 astronaut Sunita 'Suni' Williams on Comedy Central's 'The Colbert Report.' The program will air at 11:30 p.m. EDT."

The new name?

[Anonymous Coward]

The USS Jon Stewart.

I know the name

[reidiq]

Ok, everybody. There was a lot of talk about the name of this module. We are on the Colbert Report tonight to talk about what name we picked after all the submissions. Tonight, we are glad to announce that the name will be, Jonathan Stewart!

Nice Summary

[drinkypoo]

The program will air at 11:30 p.m. EDT. The name, which will not be publicly released until the program airs."

The paragraph, which will not make sense until this sentence is substantially revised.

The name

[Ambiguous Coward]

The summary, which the editors did not read.

Is this some sort of crazy neo-yoda-speak? Am I missing out on a new meme? :(

Re:Nice Summary

[Refrag]

That sentence is straight from NASA. LOL! Come on, y'all, this isn't rocket-science!

Re:Nice Summary

[RasputinAXP]

Shaka, when the walls fell!

Ship's toilet - head: Space toilet - colbert

[John Hasler]

Land toilet -> crapper, ship's toilet -> head, space toilet -> colbert

Let's start a campaign. From now on a space toilet shall be a "colbert".

Re:The new name?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, that'd be funny. Can't have comedy on a comedy show.

That's what Fox news is for.

Re:Nice Summary

[Hottie Parms]

Wow. I got this joke immediately. I feel uber-geeky.

Re:A Strategem

[ericrost]

Wow, you obviously didn't get much out of that tax funded public education, so I can see where your "ideals" come from. /burn karma burn/

Re:Editors are supposed to edit...

[black_lbi]

So you can accidentally the whole sentence? You'd wish!

Re:I know the name

[stereoroid]

The module won't be named after Colbert, because NASA has already found a place for his name: a new commode [space.com]. As in "back in a few minutes, I need to go and use the Colbert".

Re:Nice Summary

[Amazing Quantum Man]

Well, that's the problem. NASA does rocket science, not grammar!

Re:common sense people!

[eln]

The fact that someone named Thomas Crapper came up with an invention called the ballcock has to be the greatest semi-useless factoid ever.

Re:Editors are supposed to edit...

[alta]

Wrong wrong, I'm using the 'Pro' version of slashdot.
In the Pro version, all grammar is corrected. There's also the political distortion field. There's a slider at the top of the page that lets me choose ConservativeLiberal.
By moving the slider everyone's comments are automatically refactored to reflect my beliefs. Go ahead, say something positive about B.O. I'll never see it!
It also merges duplicate stories, merging their comments.
And best yet, I NEVER have any missing poll options. It gives me a text field where I right in the correct answer, and then it's always the most popular.

This is great, you should get the pro version.
 

Re:Too "Colbert"..

[rolfwind]

I think their best bet would be to name the node itself Serenity and name the actual urine recycling unit inside "Colbert".

I think the node should be called Colbert and the commode/urine_recycling_unit be named Serenity. Don't you want to experience Serenity on the Colbert as well?

Re:I know the name

[Rude Turnip]

This reminds me of the Howard Stern Rest Stop controversy in the middle 1990s. When Christine Todd Whitman was elected governor of NJ, one of her campaign promises was to name a highway rest stop after Howard Stern. The designated rest stop ended up being one that is notorious for anonymous gay sex.

I can vouche for this

[coryking]

There is a slider at the top of the page that lets me choose "American Fat-Cat" / Communist. By moving the slider, everyone's comments are automatically refactored to reflect my beliefs. Go ahead, say something negative about Fidel Castro. I will never see it!

Good to see you agree! Fidel isn't some capitalist pig-dog like Obama. Amazing that this site is so full of people who agree!

Did you mention the cameo appearances by Sean Hannity and the Back Street Boys?

Re:Nice Summary

[MobyDisk]

I wonder what they call toilets in that language.

Re:The new name?

[MikeDirnt69]

They should send USS Goatse to check out some black holes.

Re:A Strategem

[ColdWetDog]

Well, you didn't get much of a sense of humor in your intellectual wanderings, did you?

Re:Ship's toilet - head: Space toilet - colbert

[jollyreaper]

Land toilet -> crapper, ship's toilet -> head, space toilet -> colbert

Let's start a campaign. From now on a space toilet shall be a "colbert".

That really does fit. Space toilets are odd machines to begin with. They actually use an impeller to move the waste into the collection unit since there's no gravity to rely on. So in other words, the shit hits the fan by design! If that doesn't sound like a Colbert device, I don't know what does.

I'd give them extra brownie points if..

[CFBMoo1]

NASA guy introduces Patrick Stewart who walks out in robes and a crown and says, "From this day forth, all the toilets in space shall be known as... Colberts!" Then he beams off the stage. They don't even have to name the module just all the toilets. I'd be happy even though I voted Colbert.

Re:The name

[Binestar]

Nah. Neo-Yoda speak would be something like "Kung-fu, know I."

Whoa.

Re:Nice Summary

[Anonymous Coward]

Colbert, his pants down his jaws clenched

Nah

[Anonymous Coward]

that will be named Bush or cheney. Always full of crap and fails a lot.

Re:Nah

[WindBourne]

And all this time, I thought W.C. stood for Water Closet. Instead, it was W and Cheney.

Transcript from the segment

[Ifni]

"NASA's newest module for the International Space Station will get a new name on April 14. The agency plans to make the announcement with the help of Expedition 14 and 15 astronaut Sunita 'Suni' Williams on Comedy Central's 'The Colbert Report.' The program will air at 11:30 p.m. EDT."

Transcript of NASA segment from the April 14th, 2009 Colbert show.

Colbert: As many of our watchers will recall, NASA recently had a contest allowing the public to vote for the new name for "Node 3", the newest module of the International Space Station. Thanks to you, my fans, the highest voted name was "Colbert". However, NASA reserves the right to select any name they choose, regardless of the results of the contest, leaving many wondering if my prestigious and time honored name will indeed grace the new module.

(laughter from audience)

Colbert: Tonight, we have a very special guest from NASA - a two time visitor to the International Space Station - here to officially announce the selected name. Please offer a warm welcome for Astronaut Sunita Williams!

(audience cheers) Sunita walks on stage, shakes hands with Colbert.

Colbert: Thank you for coming.

Sunita: It's a pleasure to be here.

Colbert: I know we are all waiting to hear what NASA has decided, but first tell the audience a little about yourself.

(Snipped for brevity - read about her here [wikipedia.org]. She was one of the astronauts to use the ametuer radio stations on the station to talk with school children - very cool stuff.)

Colbert: Thank you "Suni". You've done some amazing things, and we look forward to the contributions yet to come. (applause from audience) Ok, it looks like we might have a revolt on our hands if we don't cut to the chase. NASA has chosen you to officially announce - here, tonight - the name of the newest module for the International Space Station.

Sunita: Yes.

Colbert: Then, without further delay, Sunita Williams, ladies and gentlemen.

Suinita: Thank you. "Node 3", as it has been known, is the newest addition to the ISS, due to be sent up February 2010. It will provide life support systems, including water recycling and oxygen generation, for the ISS. Tonight, it is my great honor to announce on behalf of NASA that it has now, officially, been renamed "Xenu". (laughter from audience) No, seriously.

(Sunita can't keep her face straight, causing Colbert to break from script with a smile. Sunita breaks into laughter)

Colbert: We are going to get sued for this.

End Transcript - sorry, you're going to have to wait for tomorrow's airing for the revelation of the true name.

Re:The new name?

[Arancaytar]

It makes vast amounts of sense, especially if you're miffed at Colbert using his popularity leverage to push his own name through the vote. Go on his show, name it something else, just to mess with him. :P