Chimpanzees Exchange Meat For Sex 313
the_therapist writes "A team from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany, studied chimps in the Tai Forest reserve in Ivory Coast and discovered that chimpanzees enter into 'deals' whereby they exchange meat for sex. Among the findings are that 'male chimps that are willing to share the proceeds of their hunting expeditions mate twice as often as their more selfish counterparts.' They also found this to be 'a long-term exchange, so males continue to share their catch with females when they are not fertile, copulating with them when they are.'"
Wow (Score:5, Funny)
Hmm (Score:5, Funny)
Obligatory (Score:4, Funny)
I wonder how well this would work.... (Score:4, Funny)
Stuff rock stars (Score:3, Funny)
Butchers get all the chicks.
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:5, Funny)
Except the chimps don't seem to exhibit the signs of buyer's remorse.
I thought sex WAS the exchange of meat... (Score:5, Funny)
And (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wow (Score:4, Funny)
I need to head to the closest butchers shop!
First, you might want to make sure that zoophilia isn't illegal in your state. :)
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:2, Funny)
Marriage is so that human females can continue to be fed while no longer having to put out.
Re:Bonobos (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bonobos (Score:3, Funny)
If you ever find such a human society, can you let us know? Thanks.
If websites that require a credit card don't count, then I'm still looking my friend. Still looking.
Monkey Business (Score:2, Funny)
They just have to very careful (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Damn (Score:5, Funny)
It's hard out here for a Chimp! (Score:2, Funny)
... with apologies to Hustle and Flow.
Let me guess... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wow (Score:5, Funny)
I need to head to the closest butchers shop!
Before you drop too much on premium cuts, remember the article said the ones who gave meat gifts had twice as much sex. You might want to think about how much you have now and do the math before deciding if that's worth it. ;)
Re:Hmm (Score:1, Funny)
For human males, the key is to avoid Marriage trap (Score:3, Funny)
For us humans, the key thing (at least for males) is to avoid the marriage trap. Outside of marriage, the resources-for-nookie exchange holds true at market rates. Imbalances are corrected by the laws of microeconomics.
But once locked in a marriage contract, a human male MUST provide resources under penalty of law, while the female is not obligated to do...anything. The predictable result is the epidemic of sexless marriages in the U.S. and other developed countries.
So, just beware the marriage trap. It's like signing an oil futures contract where you're required to deliver oil at $12 a barrel, indefinitely. You'd be a fool to sign either a $12/bbl oil contract, or a marriage contract.
Re:Damn (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Damn (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:4, Funny)
My theory was that marriage was invented by mobs of ugly men. Or maybe by alpha males that were just plain shagged out and wanted a reason to cut down on the number of wives.
Either way, it works for me!
Re:NOT News . . . seen Bonobos (Score:4, Funny)
I thought being high up in the chess club was a worthy display of prowess. Seems it wasn't. Who knew?
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:5, Funny)
and there is really only one reason to take a girl out on a date....
To bribe them to set you up with another girl?
Re:Wow (Score:3, Funny)
Hello! Are you a mean person? You must be the mean person everybody's mother told them about when they were little. I'm going to scribble down in my slashdot diary, that slashdot devs have provided me with, that you are a mean person; so that I don't forget.
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:3, Funny)
... I never did the club hunting thing ...
You mean like this [cartoonstock.com], right?
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:3, Funny)
Last line was ugly. I meant to say:
Congratulations! You are a gentleman. Join our exclusive club! We party on Saturdays, and only get intimate with people we really like!
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:4, Funny)
A slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you.
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:5, Funny)
Hehehehe...I guess there are many more women lurking around slashdot than we originally thought.
You mean there are two!?!?
Touch my monkey! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:3, Funny)
Someone on /. claiming to have had sex with a female without providing meat? Sounds like there are some serious philosophical questions to be avoided in this thread.
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:2, Funny)
So prostitution IS the oldest profession on earth.
Hardly, if there was meat involved then it would have to be hunter or fisherman.
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:5, Funny)
That's because they keep their women silent.
Or maybe it's because female chimps are satisfied with what they have, instead of constantly demanding more and more like little bitchy princesses! (sigh). No I'm not bitter. I just have this gnawing pain in my gut until I can feel the bile rising-up into my mouth. Or maybe it's just indigestion. Anyone have a tic-tac?
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I always laugh.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Same behavior in humans too (Score:3, Funny)
Anyone have a tic-tac?
That depends.
How much sex will it buy me?