Beware the Perils of Caffeine Withdrawal 700
palegray.net writes "CNN is running an article on the notorious effects of caffeine withdrawal, a problem that seems to be affecting an increasing number of people. Citing numerous reasons why people might need to cut back on their caffeine intake (pregnancy, pre-surgery requirements, etc), the story notes a significant number of people who are simply unable to quit. I drink around eight cups of coffee a day, along with a soda or two, and I definitely suffer from nasty withdrawal symptoms without my fix."
Ahhhhhhh (Score:5, Funny)
I am NOT addicted! (Score:5, Funny)
I can quit whenever I want!!!!
Whatdoyoumeancaffineisaddictive? (Score:5, Funny)
If caffine is a drug, my office is the largest opium den this side of the mississippi...
Re:Eight Cups?!? (Score:5, Funny)
Plus, you really won't have to worry about withdrawal when you're stuck on an island with no WiFi, no coffee, but plenty of hot native girls.
Actually, in that case I'd say that you DO need to worry about withdrawal, unless you want to knock up the hot native girls or brought birth control ;)
Re:I am NOT addicted! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
We need prohibition! War on caffeine, Columbian coffee beans clearly constitute an Axis of Withdrawal Symptoms!
We need to construct a massive wall, in the sea, between us and Mexico to stop these evil coffee lords and their satanic beans from getting in to the US!
God Bless America!
Re:Whatdoyoumeancaffineisaddictive? (Score:5, Funny)
Caffeine addiction is the only justification for drinking office coffee.
Re:Why would anyone quit? (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously why would anyone choose to quit? I periodically quit just to feel the pain of it but that is just self flagellation.
I had to.
A hand tremor as a surgeon is _not_ what your patients want to see. As an aside, to break the ice with some patients I do a variation of the Gene Wilder's deputy on "Blazing Saddles"....
Pt: So how steady are your hands?
[I hold up a steady left hand]
Pt: Good, steady as a rock!
[While bringing up a flapping right hand and with a southern draw]
Me: Yeah, but this here is ma' operatin' hand.
Usually get a good chuckle from my patients, but every once in a while I get a wild-eyed-jaw-dropping-looking-for-the-nearest-fire-exit look that totally makes the joke worth it.
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
The Spice extends life. The Spice expands consciousness. The Spice is vital to space travel. The Spacing Guild and its navigators, who the Spice has mutated over 4000 years, use the orange Spice gas, which gives them the ability to fold space.
Somebody really was drinking too much coffee when they wrote that shit.
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
I had to cut back for surgery awhile back and I found that simply mixing a little bit of regular coffee in with decaf worked like a charm. It didn't even need to be half and half, even just one part caffeinated in four was sufficient to stave off the headaches and malaise.
I just went and switched to scotch.
Luckily most caffeine addicts (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
I'm a caffeine addict too, but I've cut down to 1d4 + 3 cups per day.
Let's go ahead and talk about that *other* addiction...
Re:Caffeine is a drug that should be regulated. (Score:2, Funny)
You stay away from the tub of happiness!
Re:I Just Quit Caffeine (Score:5, Funny)
I can't imagine why Excedrin [wikipedia.org] helped:
Turns out that taking the drug you're jonesing for helps ease withdrawal symptoms.
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
When they came for the smokers,
I sat drinking my coffee and watched.
When they came for my coffee,
yada yada yada.
---
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit cocaine.
Re:Whatdoyoumeancaffineisaddictive? (Score:3, Funny)
Caffeine addiction is the only justification for drinking office coffee.
Who doesn't like lukewarm, brown-tinged water?
Re:I used to intake around 500 mg/day (Score:5, Funny)
If you've got even an ounce of willpower, you can quit too.
I was once addicted to willpower. Then I went cold turkey and caved in to every craving, and now I feel much better.
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
I don't think it was COFFEE he was ingesting.
Re:Ahhhhhhh (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Eight Cups?!? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Bah (Score:3, Funny)
They just aren't drinking enough alcohol to break up the stones.
Re:I used to intake around 500 mg/day (Score:5, Funny)
I was once addicted to willpower.
I used to get high on life, but I developed a tolerance.
Re:Bah (Score:4, Funny)
I just wondered if he rolled the d4 in the morning, or after the 3rd cup to figure out how many he got to drink that day.
--
JimFive
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe he just made a typo and really meant 1e4 + 3 cups per day. That'd be a lot :-)
Re:I used to intake around 500 mg/day (Score:5, Funny)
I was once addicted to willpower.
I used to get high on life, but I developed a tolerance.
I'm addicted to placebos.
I've thought about quitting, but it wouldn't make a difference.
Re:Bah (Score:5, Funny)
No really, in the AM I roll a 4-sided die and add three to it. That is my limit on coffee for the day.
If it's a weekday, I then roll d% to find out if I'm going to work, and at what time. Since I have 20 vacation days, and there are approximately 250 workdays in the year, I have an 8% chance of calling out for the day. If I roll 09-12, I go in late. If I roll 96-00, then I work overtime.
Once I get to work, I look at my email inbox. I roll a d6 surreptitiously. If I roll a 1, I address the email. If I roll a 2-5, I pass it on to a team member offshore. If I roll a 6, I accidentally the mail, then log into the mail server and edit the log files to remove all traces of the offending mail. Sometimes this takes longer than dealing with the email, but it's more fun in the long run.
Re:I used to intake around 500 mg/day (Score:5, Funny)
you drink water ??? why ? It'll wash the caffeine away ! stop it!!! dihydrogen oxide is _DANGEROUS_ man !!!
Re:I used to intake around 500 mg/day (Score:5, Funny)
If you've got even an ounce of willpower, you can quit too.
I was once addicted to willpower. Then I went cold turkey and caved in to every craving, and now I feel much better.
Lucky you. I was addicted to cold turkey, and since my loved one has started roasting it for dinner my life took a turn for the worse.