Spider Bite Allows Man To Walk Again 221
Manastorm writes "A man who was wheelchair bound due to a motorcycle accident twenty years ago gained the ability to walk again after being bitten by a recluse spider. 'I can't wait to start dancing,' he said as he looks forward to a full recovery after experiencing what some call a 'true miracle.'" I think we all know how this story is going to end. I hope The Sinister Six have been practicing.
No radioactivity involved? (Score:4, Funny)
No genetic engineering?
What a let down...
First person to make... (Score:5, Funny)
a spiderman analogy gets beaten about the head, neck, chest, and shoulders with a rocket-propelled spaghetti launcher.
Re:First person to make... (Score:5, Funny)
Forget dancing! He can't wait to climb walls, sling webs and catch Dr. Oct!
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:5, Funny)
Myth busters episode (Score:5, Funny)
I'm waiting for the Mythbuster's episode. First we hobble Adam, Jamie and Grant (who can be the control). Then we inject them all with deadly spider venom. If they survive, we see if the spider venom helps them to walk again. Grant gets no venom. Whether they survive or not, it's entertaining and about as scientific as the rest of their testing.
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:5, Funny)
This just in: Spider bite cures laziness!
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:5, Funny)
You think you're so smart, but I haven't RTFA. Therefore I don't know if you're lying or not, therefore in my world, this man MAY be spiderman.
I live in a world where spiderman is possibly real, along with santa and the easter bunny. All you have is stupid reality.
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Myth busters episode (Score:4, Funny)
I'm waiting for the Mythbuster's episode.
It was an exploding spider?
The moral of the story (Score:4, Funny)
The lesson here is clear: women should not drive.
Missing the point (Score:5, Funny)
What's wrong with Santa? We know St. Nick was real (so we know there are charitable people) and we know wormholes are real (so we know how to travel around the globe in an evening).
The Easter Bunny is a modern corruption of the Eostre hare, which seems to have involved throwing eggs at Bugs in the morning, or something like that.
Spider threads are one of the strongest organic materials known. If we assume the thread could be scaled to the thickness of a typical hemp rope and that the strength scaled with it, it might just about be strong enough to pull building over with, never mind scaling them.
It's not about these superheros not being possible - clearly the science says otherwise. It's about them not having happened yet. Which, since the tales all come from the past, means time travel will have to be invented along with them.
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:5, Funny)
Repeat after me: there is no secret lab under Sutter Buttes. Certainly not one exactly 322' under Brockman Canyon off Pass Road with henchmen wearing shiny silver suits where several tanks of Sphyrna have recently been delivered. Umm, I mean, these are not the buttes you are looking for...
Re:The moral of the story (Score:2, Funny)
And now for the followup...
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/03/16/national/main4870337.shtml?source=mostpop_story [cbsnews.com]
When asked is he strong? (Score:4, Funny)
"Listen bud! He's got radioactive blood!"
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:5, Funny)
Still an execellant medical solution . . . (Score:3, Funny)
Brown Recluse venom isn't neurotoxic, it's necrotic.
. . . for my family's great aunt's mobility problem: She can't move an inch without telling everyone in earshot, who doesn't want to hear, a complete medical history of her bowels and various other organs.
If I can convince her that a bunch of spider bites are the solution to her real and imagined medical problems, that should have that problem sorted.
Maybe AIG should give these spiders out, instead of bonuses?
Re:Myth busters episode (Score:5, Funny)
They can blow up the corpses after they die of the poison ..
Re:Yes. Intentionally. (Score:2, Funny)
Woosh. Really? Spiderman ISN'T real? Why haven't I read about this on slashdot before?
Do you filter out articles posted by kdawson?
Re:SLASHDOT?! (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, but how many people on /. believe in Jesus as opposed to Spiderman?
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:5, Funny)
Of course. From the time the article is published until the point in time that you read the article, this man is juxtaposed between the state of BEING Spiderman, and the state of NOT BEING Spiderman.
This is an excellent a thought experiment that illustrates the problems with the Copenhagen interpretation of Quantum Commenting.
Screw spiderman... (Score:5, Funny)
SPIDER PIG
SPIDER PIG
Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does
Can he swing
From a web
No he cant
He's a pig
LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!!!
He is a SPIDER PIG!!
You're welcome for getting that stuck in your head for the rest of the day...
Re:And it did not take him long to get arrested ei (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:3, Funny)
Except that the Recluse spider venom isn't particularly neuro-toxic at all. Its primary toxin simply aggregates platelets and white blood cells to clog capillaries, which causes necrotic flesh wounds.
well maybe it worked like that BEFORE the spider got zapped with high energy gamma rays, but afterwards things were probably a bit different
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:4, Funny)
this man is juxtaposed between the state of BEING Spiderman, and the state of NOT BEING Spiderman.
Schrodinger's Bug?
Re:The moral of the story (Score:3, Funny)
I view that combination at about the same threat level as the redneck with the high powered rifle and the 12 pack of horse piss.
Fixed that for you.
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:4, Funny)
You know, all you had to do was check the Yellow Pages for the Sutter Buttes/Tarantula Junction exchange, and there right under the "World Domination, Evil Genetic Engineering Consultants" heading was this listing:
"Tarantek: Your one-stop source for mutants, clones, evil world domination schemes, improbability manipulation and 'unapproved' research. Arachnids our specialty. We're also California's largest wholesaler of Chia Pets. We take MasterCard, Discover Card and VISA."
* * * * *
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
—Abraham Lincoln
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:4, Funny)
but nerve regrowth is rare in the spine because spinal fluids prohibit it.
Guess our intelligent designer needs to go back to the drawing board if (s)he built in a bug like that ;)
There, corrected that for you. Spiders kill bugs.
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What a misleading headline (Score:2, Funny)
the cookies are always gone...
The spiders eat them.
Re:No radioactivity involved? (Score:1, Funny)
these are not the buttes you are looking for...
*sigh* they never are...