Data Mining Moves To Human Resources 262
theodp writes "Just when you thought annual reviews couldn't get worse, BusinessWeek reports that HR departments at companies like Microsoft and IBM are starting to use mathematical analysis to determine the value of each employee. At an undisclosed Internet company, analysis of (non-verbal) communications was used to produce a circle to represent each employee — those determined to generate or pass along valuable info were portrayed as large and dark-colored circles ('thought leaders' and 'networked curators'), while those with small and pale circles were written off as not adding a hell of a lot. 'You have to bring the same rigor you bring to operations and finance to the analysis of people,' explains Microsoft's Rupert Bader. Hey, who could argue with what Quants did for finance?"
Joy (Score:5, Funny)
Ah. Yes this would be the 'Brazil' solution.
"I'm sorry Mr Jones, our database says that you are a statistical outlier and that you should be dead by now."
*pulls out gun*
"You must become compliant."
Re:Human resources? Bah (Score:5, Funny)
So posted /. user 1453005.
Your participation has been credited to your Interaction Value Score./p>
Re:Not necessarily bad thing (Score:5, Funny)
From: bob@company.com
To: all-user-list@company.com
Subject: Good luck
Close your eyes and imagine a well. Then imagine yourself tossing a coin into the well. Now forward this message to at least 5 of your friends within the company and HR will reward you with elevated quanta metrics and a payrise.
Re:IBM (Score:3, Funny)
[citation needed]
[1 [adclassix.com]]
Re:Next up: Collateral Employee Obligations (Score:2, Funny)
Divide and conquer. Others in the department know very well who is deadwood and who quietly holds the whole thing together.
But what if I find the hidden immunity idol?