Crocodiles With Frickin' Magnets Attached to Their Heads

Brickwall writes "Florida, faced with a problem of crocodiles returning to residential neighborhoods after being relocated elsewhere, is trying to solve it by affixing magnets to the crocs' heads. The theory is the crocodiles use the Earth's magnetic field for navigation, and the magnets may interfere with that. What I'd like to know is, whose job is it to put the magnets on?" So far the magnet program appears to be working, unfortunately the crocs have started to collect huge amounts of take-out menus and child artwork.

RE:

[myVarNamesAreTooLon]

Magnets? What's the matter? Couldn't get lasers?
(because every creature deserves a warm meal)

Re:Crocs? In Florida?

[Anonymous Coward]

That may be true now, but wait until they start putting magnets on the Crocodiles in Egypt!

Get sharks with laser beams.

[www.sorehands.com]

That will take care of the crocs.

Re:Why?

[TapeCutter]

"Why not just shoot them?"

Here in Australia the authorities also try to avoid shooting problem crocs, instead they send them to a croc farm for handbag breeding.

Re:Natural selection

[TheLink]

"why not just shoot them?"

Because most people don't like handbags with bullet holes in them. Same goes for wallets.

As for belts, it's hard to get the holes consistently in the right places.

Re:lame

[Hooya]

> the lamest thing you could possibly put on a crocs head

Yeah, if you're affixing something to their heads, why not *airquotes* Lasers *airquotes* ?

Go North Young Crock

[Tablizer]

Now they all walk north. Alaskans will have more than polar bears to worry about now.
   

Last Words

[Tablizer]

"Dad, something is stuck to our bumper! I heard a clang."

If I understand this correctly...

[Narnie]

I could baste my old magnetic HDs in chicken broth and feed them to these "magnetically enhanced crocodiles" as a way to destroy my precious personal data?

Re:Natural selection

[Tablizer]

why not just shoot them?

Because you might damage perfectly good magnets, silly.
       

Re:Why?

[Zedrick]

Why not shoot the people of Florida? I can't imagine people being happy about living in crowded, polluted cities all the time. The population is way too big and alligators, unlike humans, doesn't destroy the environment or to drive other species to extinction. Not to mention that they were there first.

Re:Why?

[Warll]

Um, alright, ah, ok I got one, they'll shoot back and bullets aren't free. Now why not go to bed?

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

I was asking why not to shoot them, not saying that they should be shot.

Frankly, you're an idiot and someone should shoot YOU. And, it's "wander", not "wonder", you brainless twit.
Also, fuck you. :-)

Which just goes to prove the rule

[hyphen76]

That there is nothing you cannot solve with some judicious use of duct tape.

Like many hardcore geeks

[Zwicky]

I don't use harddrives. I just use crocodiles with magnets stuck to their heads.

(I'll get my coat.)

Re:Which just goes to prove the rule

[Gandalf_Greyhame]

That there is nothing you cannot solve with some judicious use of duct tape.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together

Re:Why?

[dougisfunny]

I assume you believe, though you say someone should shoot him, that he should not be shot. That's the trend here right?

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

I am the Anonymous Coward you replied to, and I apologize if I misinterpreted you. Please understand that when I hear a question like, "Why not just shoot them?," it's almost always being asked by a callous and willfully ignorant moron.

Pardon my indiscretion if you are, in fact, not such a moron. (If.)

Re:lame

[Mindcontrolled]

The magnets are clearly just there to quickly attach a laser with a metallic casing to them, then to remove it when the job is done.

This, friends, is all a cover-up. Plausible deniability and all. "Disorienting crocs". Sure.

If it looks like a croc and walks like a croc, it is abundantly clear that it is just another tool of the concspiracy!

Re:Natural selection

[hydromike2]

thats why they use pitchforks

Re:Which just goes to prove the rule

[FinchWorld]

Well as seen as these jokes are coming out, heres something I've noticed, specifically you only ever need 2 tools, WD40 and duct tape.

If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

It it doesn't move and it should use WD40.

So what happens if you spray WD40 on duct tape. I've considered testing it, but I fear it might cause some sort of paradox, leading to this reality imploding.

Re:Which just goes to prove the rule

[Gandalf_Greyhame]

I disagree - the only tool you need is a hammer. EVERY problem can be solved with a hammer, or if it cannot actually be solved, it can be reduced to a simpler form

Memorable Quotes in Slashdot

[troll8901]

Here are the catchy one-liners from this thread alone:

• "Why not just shoot them?"
• "Also, fuck you. :-)"
• "For once, an AC that I can agree with!"
• "Now why not go to bed?"

• "Would you care to volunteer to be the first for this grand experiment?"
• "Great, let's start with you."
• "As for you mods... get bent."

Someone should keep a list of memorable quotes in Slashdot. :-)

Re:Natural selection

[MrNaz]

You forgot to end with "Also, fuck you."

Re:Why?

[GreenTech11]

All hail our anonymous logical overlord

Re:Why?

[RMH101]

Can we adopt the:
4) Also, fuck you
as our new group meme?

God Help Us All If This Becomes a /. Meme

[Quothz]

Step 1: Tape magnets to crocodile heads.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit!

Step 4: Also, Fuck you.

Croc shield

[Iffie]

So does a magnetic field deter them, so you can set up a magnetic perimeter around your garden opond and they will not want to come out?

Re:Why?

[dotancohen]

The people responsible for shooting the people responsible for shooting the troll, have been shot.

Re:Which just goes to prove the rule

[Gandalf_Greyhame]

I forgot the password to my RSA key, I need to restore it... how to do this with my hammer?

you can either:
a) beat yourself over the head with said hammer until such time as your brainwaves have ceased (thus negating the need for your RSA key)
or
b) attack the encrypted drive with the hammer until such time that it has turned to dust, therefore reducing the problem to that of irrecoverable data loss.

While it is true that your RSA key cannot be recovered with a hammer, these two examples show that the problem can still be simplified with the use of a hammer

Re:Interesting.

[b4upoo]

As a long time Florida resident with a heavy involvement in water sports I would just love to congratulate the state for bringing crocs back into my immediate environment. The joy of confronting a ten foot crocodile weighing about 500 lbs. on a popular beach is hard to describe. I did discover that unlike Jesus I can not walk on water.

Re:Interesting.

[tritonman]

Great, now not only can crocodiles kill YOU, now they can kill your hard drive too!

Re:Interesting.

[sir_eccles]

Technically it was the crocodile's beach first. Perhaps we should consider strapping magnets to the heads of surfers and relocating them to your pool instead.

Re:Interesting.

[Anonymous Coward]

You know, water sports are technically illegal in florida under anti-sodomy laws.

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

1) Propose new Slashdot group meme
2) Get internet famous, just like real life famous
3) ...
4) Also, fuck you

Re:Interesting.

[Overzeetop]

Yeah, but that's one tough son of a bitch to do watersports with a crocodile. Makes that whole trapeze, midget and running start thing seem pretty mainstream if you ask me.

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay, here we go:

1) Attach magnets to alligators
2) ???
3) Profit!!!
4) Also, fuck you

Re:Interesting.

[berashith]

yup, every step off of dry land is a step off of the top of the food chain!

Re:Interesting.

[Anonymous Coward]

I think its fair trade people are allowed to hunt 5000 odd crocs a year the crocks hunt a few beach bums both populations are maintained in a natural balance.

Re:Why?

[NudeAvenger]

not sure if having sex with a handbag is a persuasive enough argument to keep those crocs out of trouble.

Re:Interesting.

[jd]

That's nothing! Now, when crocodiles swim in circles, it'll generate an electric current. Shocking, I tell you!

Re:Which just goes to prove the rule

[Yetihehe]

I've tried it. WD40 wins (unsticks tape). But my house was destroyed in the event, so better don't try it at home you still want to live in.