IBM Files Patent For Bullet-Dodging Bionic Armor 379
An anonymous reader writes with news that IBM has filed a patent for "Bionic body armor" that would protect a wearer from long-range gunfire by detecting the incoming bullets and administering small shocks to the appropriate muscles required for moving out of the way. Quoting the patent: "When a marksman (such as a sniper) is attempting to fire a projectile from a firearm, the marksman typically prefers to be as far away from the target as possible, thus giving him or her a head start for the escape after the firing. As an example, the longest reported sniper hit was from a distance of about 2500 meters, resulting in a time of flight of about 4 seconds for the projectile/bullet. Had the target been aware of the inbound projectile, avoiding it by simply walking away would have been possible." After detecting the projectile, the armor would calculate the trajectory and "stimulate the target to move in a predefined manner ... sufficient to avoid any contact with the approaching projectile."
Sign me up! (Score:5, Funny)
Yes! But will it... (Score:1, Funny)
Finally! Now everyone will be able to fight Agents and not just that hack Keanu.
New sniper rifle patent (Score:3, Funny)
simulates projectiles in a manner which causes the aforementioned bullet-dodging armor to deliver stimulus which directs it's wearer to repeatedly and fatally strike him or herself in the genitals.
I predict this to be added to the hague conventions in short order.
Re:Mechanism of detection? (Score:5, Funny)
Throw a handful of gravel against a group of military personel and watch the fun :D
Re:Yes! But will it... (Score:4, Funny)
brilliant! (Score:2, Funny)
Since bullets typically travel faster than sound, you first get hit by the bullet, and then you get an electric shock on top of that. What fun.
What will those IBM guys patent next?
Title... (Score:5, Funny)
IBM Files Patent For Bullet-Dodging Bionic Armor
Reading that title, I got a mental image of body armor sensing incoming bullets and dodging them by jumping off of the wearer.
We can Rebuild him. We have the technology. (Score:2, Funny)
Sorry...won't work (Score:5, Funny)
The sniper was Canadian, so I'm pretty sure the armour wouldn't have saved the target in the long run. The sniper was told that the guy he killed was responsible for blowing up ten skids of imported microbrewery beer. If the rifle didn't work, that sniper would have run down there with a dull, rusty spoon, cut the guy's balls off and beaten him to death with them.
It's the Canadian Way.
Re:brilliant! (Score:4, Funny)
Radar-armor means we need... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Stimulate to move... (Score:5, Funny)
New goal for terrorists - trigger the response in the armor making the wearer look weird and become exhausted.
Who would have thought... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:And how's it deal with multiple shooters? (Score:4, Funny)
Will it allow the wearer to avoid being hit by a flying chair?
If yes, then IBM might actually be able to sell it to a few people.
BUT... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Mechanism of detection? (Score:3, Funny)
...or use a hornet's nest to make a whole military base start jumping around uncontrollably while you just stroll in and set the charges.
The possibility for pranking is endless.
Snatch (Score:4, Funny)
"Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?"
"Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?"
"'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi."
So what are they saying? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Mechanism of detection? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Stimulate to move... (Score:5, Funny)
jump to the left ... ooops!
and then a step to the right!
Re:And how's it deal with multiple shooters? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mechanism of detection? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Sign me up! (Score:5, Funny)
you type very well and you even spell well for someone in daycare. you must be in the advanced track.
Re:Great - Throw 'em around during a firefight (Score:3, Funny)
think president on inauguration day or pope
In a world... where Mecha Saddam and his Robo-Muslims threaten your mom... and apple pie... and FREEDOM...
Only two men have the magic dancing armor that can save the day.
Bionic Barack
and
Powerpope
in:
"Church and State 2: Best Friends Forevarrr!"
Re:Stimulate to move... (Score:4, Funny)
I can see the headlines now:
IBM sued when bodyarmor snaps wearer's spine.
Bodyarmor electrocutes soldier in field
New body armor provides new technique for weightloss
Can't touch this, hammer time