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Researchers Developing Cancer-Fighting Beer 283

Posted by samzenpus
from the drink-your-way-to-a-better-you dept.
CWmike writes "Ever picked up a cold, frosty beer on a hot summer's day and thought that it simply couldn't get any better? Well, think again. A team of researchers at Rice University in Houston is working on helping Joe Six Pack fight aging and cancer with every swill of beer." Thank you science! Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.
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Researchers Developing Cancer-Fighting Beer

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  • Baldness (Score:5, Funny)

    by TheSpoom (715771) * <slashdot @ u b e rm00.net> on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:16PM (#25476731) Homepage Journal

    I think if Star Trek has taught us anything, it's that baldness is one thing that will never be cured.

    • Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)

      by geekoid (135745) <dadinportland&yahoo,com> on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:23PM (#25476773) Homepage Journal

      In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.

      • Re:Baldness (Score:4, Interesting)

        by hkmarks (1080097) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:44PM (#25476961)
      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by syousef (465911)

        In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.

        In that case, here's your new red shirt. We were going to give you the blue shirt, but that wouldn't tell the audience that you're about to die. The way team will be beaming down to the dangerous planet immediately.

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          by schon (31600)

          We were going to give you the blue shirt, but that wouldn't tell the audience that you're about to die.

          To boldly go, don't you see?
          It's just a ploy, it's a fucking conspiracy!

          The final frontier is just a lie
          that kills thousands every year!

          You and me, don't you see?
          Brain washed at the fucking Academy.

          This red shirt, I'll say it loud -
          It ain't nothing but a fucking death shroud!

          The red shirts are dying
          The red shirts are dying

          The red shirts are dying
          I ain't lying
          What they're selling you're buying
          While the Captain's satisfying his itch in a ditch
          with some green-skinned bitch
          And the Federation grows increasingly

        • This would explain why Picard got captured so many times. Starfleet should have never changed their command uniforms to red.

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by D'Sphitz (699604)
          It's also strange how volatile the display consoles on the bridge are, they seem to explode in a shower of sparks at the slightest provocation, killing the attendant (who, by sheer luck, is never one of the regular crew).
          • Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)

            by lysergic.acid (845423) on Thursday October 23, 2008 @01:40AM (#25478779) Homepage

            that's a common misconception. they're actually killed by sudden intense bursts of high-energy gamma rays, which are invisible to the naked eye. the sparks are secondary effects added artificially by the ship's computer system to make the crewmen's deaths look more festive.

            this feature was deemed necessary to save doomed crew members from the shame of dying unceremoniously by innocuous-looking console malfunctions. in fact, before the pyrotechnic sparks and digital sound effects were added, many console operators' deaths would go unnoticed for hours, and sometimes even days. often Starfleet captains would unknowingly complete entire missions with a bridge full of dead crewmen sitting at their consoles--this is also why officers are now required to stand at the tactical station.

    • Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)

      by grahamd0 (1129971) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:15PM (#25477213)

      Curing baldness would probably be one of the evils that was abandoned after the Eugenics Wars. I'll note that Khan had a full head of hair. It's a slippery slope from Rogaine to genocide.

    • by quenda (644621) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:47PM (#25477439)
      Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?

      .

      .

      They're both fucking close to water.

      - the Bruces, Woolloomooloo university
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY [youtube.com]

      • That's a great example of an obsolete joke. It was funny in the 1970s, because it was true. Nowdays it makes you go "huh?" instead of laugh, because it doesn't make any sense. When you sip on some of those west coast IPAs or barleywines, you sometimes wonder if there's any water in it at all. "Geez, did they just put some malt and hops into a hydraulic press?"

        Some say it was because of Carter repealing the homebrew prohibition in 1978, but I think America went from one of the worst countries for beer t

        • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

          by Creepy (93888)

          Um, if you have a sip of Budweiser, it's the same nasty half-rice, half-wheat beer-like substance that it was in 1978. The majority of Americans still drink that swill and like it.

          On the other hand, there's decent US brewers like Fat Tire, Rogue and Goose Island, and great brews from other brewers like Surly Darkness (I'm not a big bitter fan, so I'll pass on most of their other beers, but that one is good - and VERY expensive - cost me $20 to buy one off a friend, and I think they sold for something like

    • by BForrester (946915) on Thursday October 23, 2008 @10:22AM (#25481613)

      Hence motto, "to baldly go where no one has gone before."

  • by Joce640k (829181) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:19PM (#25476749) Homepage

    Guinness is full of yummy flavonoids which zap oxidants and help protect against cancer.

  • Rice? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Hatta (162192) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:20PM (#25476755) Journal

    Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Alien Being (18488)

      OK, Bud isn't the best tasting beer, but it's always decent. I've had too many skunked bottles of "premium" beers to continue being snobbish about it.

      FWIW, my favorite beer of all time is Pete's Wicked Ale. I'll put Guinness, Grolsch and a few others close behind.

      • by Hatta (162192)

        I don't like the taste of rice in beer. I don't like budweiser, and I don't really like Sapporo. I'd gladly drink a busch before a Bud. But I drink boulevard and leinenkugels most often.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by pipingguy (566974) *
        Guinness is a meal, not a beverage.
    • Re:Rice? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Cyberia (70947) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:14PM (#25477201)

      Good news: Cancer deaths down. Other news: Liver disease is up, researchers are looking for cause & cure.

    • Re:Rice? (Score:5, Funny)

      by ArcherB (796902) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:32PM (#25477335) Journal

      Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.

      It it's from Rice, that makes it Sake.

      (duh!)

      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        Damn, you beat me to it. Your joke is somewhat accurate, though, as sake is brewed in a manner very similar to (good) beer.

    • by quenda (644621)
      Whats the story with that? I heard the reason a lot of American beer taste so bad, is the use of rice and corn in it, instead of barley. Is that common?

      Pity the Australians visiting the US who think it tastes weak, so must be weak. They drink a couple of your enormous pitchers (twice the size of our jugs), and unexpectedly fall over drunk.

  • by isBandGeek() (1369017) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:21PM (#25476763)
    TFA:

    And they added that giving high doses to invertebrates extends their life spans

    So if we remove our spines and drink a lot of this miracle beer, we can increase our lifespans? Tell me where to get this beer!

  • by Apple Acolyte (517892) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:23PM (#25476775)
    To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. -Homer Simpson
  • by ODBOL (197239) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:23PM (#25476779) Homepage
    > Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.

    Now, cut it out! God made a few good heads. He had to cover the rest with hair.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by camperdave (969942)
      Now, cut it out! God made a few good heads. He had to cover the rest with hair.

      One I've always liked is:
      "We were all born with the same amount of testosterone. If you want to waste yours growing hair, that's your business."
  • I liked it, but... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Andr T. (1006215) <andretaff&gmail,com> on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:23PM (#25476783)

    In general, the addition of the resveratrol shouldn't affect the taste of the beer, since the chemical is odorless and tasteless, he said.

    So, why not adding it to... water? Because that way you wouldn't get in the newspaper, not even a /. mention?

    • by pushing-robot (1037830) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:29PM (#25476845)

      Because they're using yeast to produce resveratrol, beer seems a logical choice of beverage. Besides, I think they're targeting that vast group of Americans who think it's unpatriotic to drink water.

      • Perhaps putting it in bread would be a good idea.
        • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

          by Anonymous Coward

          Why put it in bread when you can put it in beer?

        • Heat breaks down reservatrol, so bread would probably not make a great choice. But there are resveratrol supplements on the market if you're looking for a non-alcoholic source.

          • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

            Even if heat didn't break it down, yeast in bread does not have a lot of time to produce reservatrol. There's also not a lot of free sugar in bread for the yeast to eat. So you're probably not going to get much reservatrol out of bread even before it breaks down from the heat.
    • by CaptainPatent (1087643) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:29PM (#25476847) Journal
      SHHHHHH!

      that completely invalidates our excuse then:

      "Honey, Would you put that beer down and go mow the lawn?!"
      "Can't sweetie, it's time for my treatment!"
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by philspear (1142299)

      In general, the addition of the resveratrol shouldn't affect the taste of the beer, since the chemical is odorless and tasteless, he said.

      So, why not adding it to... water? Because that way you wouldn't get in the newspaper, not even a /. mention?

      Dude, shut up! Seriously... Next you'll be on about how you can get the benefits of the glass of wine a day in a capsule without having to drink a glass of wine, or about how the health benefits from sex are the same for masturbation. You callous bastard, what are you trying to do, drive up the suicide rate?

  • TMBG. [imeem.com]

  • by dark grep (766587)
    So the 'liquid lunch' now becomes chemotherapy. Huzzah!
  • Wine (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Haoie (1277294) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:32PM (#25476865) Homepage

    It's already been shown that certain wines, in moderation, can help prevent certain cancers.

    As usual, moderation in everything.

  • by resignator (670173) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:36PM (#25476887)
    read this as' "Cancer-Fighting Bear"? I was seriously concerned there for a moment.
  • by w0mprat (1317953) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:44PM (#25476959)
    While I get this is a good way to sneak beneficial nutrients into the diets of people who may otherwise have no interest nor motivation in seeking them, I have one problem with it: Considering alcohol consumption is a risk factor for many types of cancer (and being loaded with empty calories contributing to other health problems), this better be a no/low-alcohol beer or there may be no net benefit to consuming this versus not drinking any beer at all. Ok sure, one standard drink per day has not been shown to be a problem. This is not the behaviour of your typical beer affictionado. There may be a trend to drink more, just because it's perceived to be healthy.

    I do think reservatol has huge potential though, I'm sure Ray Kurzweil is already taking it along with his 250 pills a day. I also agree with finding feasible ways to improve the nutrition of existing food products rather than changing the habits of millions of consumers (which requires delivering boot to ass of corporates over their marketing amongst other things).

    Yet, why not investigate economic ways to put it in milk or processed grains? Hell why not bundle it along with xylitol and omega 3 in things we eat commonly? We could all but wipe out everything from tooth decay to heart disease, to dementia in one go.
    • by geekoid (135745) <dadinportland&yahoo,com> on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:54PM (#25477043) Homepage Journal

      "While I get this is a good way to sneak beneficial nutrients into the diets of people who may otherwise have no interest nor motivation in seeking them,"

      Except a bunch of ignorant fear mongers will scream about it killing us, even though there is years of data spreading over millions of drinkers.

      see Fluoridated water.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Chrisje (471362)

      That's not likely.

      Assume Joe "The Plumber" drinks 2 beers every night when he comes home. Assume this is not lo-alcohol beer but regular plain old lager. If Joe Plumber is an American, it's a weaker, more tasteless beer regardless. But let's put Joe Plumber in the UK, Ireland or call 'm "Jan Loodgieter" (NL), "Calle Rörmokaren" (SE/NO) or "Hans Installateur" (GER) or "Tomàs Zednik" (Czech R). Let's assume he drinks beers in the same way his dad and granddad before him. Good, strong beers, fine, ta

  • by Larry Lightbulb (781175) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @08:52PM (#25477035)
    You can get drinks containing resveratrol from many places, such as Costco.
  • the cause of and solution to all lifes problems!
  • Sounds like......... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anachragnome (1008495) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:02PM (#25477111)

    Cindy Lou Hensley McCain is branching out her empire into the realm of pharamaceuticals.

  • pish posh (Score:5, Insightful)

    by retchdog (1319261) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:22PM (#25477257) Journal

    The "French paradox" isn't one. The French are healthier because 1) they exercise; and 2) they only eat their famous meals on occasion. Generally, they eat "peasant food"; potatoes, bread, stews, &c. But of course that would be too difficult; no, it must be the wine. Drink, drink, drink! It's good for you!

    Here's a hint: the French drink wine because they enjoy it. When I drink beer, it's because I enjoy it. I probably won't enjoy this genetically-engineered "good for you" beer as much, so the whole idea is a non-starter. I could always just eat a pomegranate, and then drink a good beer. And for those who don't like pomegranates, we can just synthesize this "resveratol" and put it in multivitamins right?

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      Also they have the best healthcare system in the world http://www.photius.com/rankings/healthranks.html [photius.com]

      and it's social medicine... just saying...
    • by zobier (585066)

      Or you could put a shot of grenadine in your beer.

      Of all the ways to get a chemical into something; "I know, lets genetically modify this organism used in the process".

    • 1) Betting you've never lived in France
      2) 13% of MacDonalds' revenue comes from France, its the biggest market outside of the US
      3) The french traditional foods are high fat (lots of cream) not potatoes and stews, that is Germany and its ilk
      4) They drink wine like people in the US drink Coke, its just what you do and its perfectly normal
      5) They smoke

      Seriously if you are going to have a go at the French Paradox then get some sort of perspective on what they eat. Its loads of "McDo" and then rich meals with D

  • by AikonMGB (1013995) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:23PM (#25477269) Homepage

    Where do we apply for clinical trials?!

    Aikon-

  • The future (Score:4, Insightful)

    by CmdrPorno (115048) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @09:26PM (#25477283)

    I for one welcome this new synthesis between vice and medicine. What about strippers who can cure STDs and gambling to cure dyslexia?

  • OK, what about AIDS-fighting condoms?...
  • Wouldn't cigarettes that cured cirrhosis be more apt?

  • Bears? (Score:2, Redundant)

    by gasgesgos (603192)
    I thought that said "Cancer-Fighting Bears" and got my hopes up...
  • by Provocateur (133110) on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @10:36PM (#25477743) Homepage

    ...from the sale of each beer. Doesn't necessarily have to go towards cancer research; it could defray the cost of printing the new labels. We'd still buy 'em, drink 'em...in the name of research, get it?

    "Helping to find the cure, honey."

    It's for the rest of us armchair jocks that can't run for a cause, unless it involved dashing to the fridge for the next one.

  • by pipingguy (566974) * on Wednesday October 22, 2008 @11:11PM (#25477965) Homepage
    I'm fighting cancer and growing hair right now!
  • Beer... (Score:3, Funny)

    by onemorechip (816444) on Thursday October 23, 2008 @01:25AM (#25478697)

    ...is there nothing it can't do?

  • by fragMasterFlash (989911) on Thursday October 23, 2008 @02:15AM (#25478943)
    The resveratrol in wine does not come from the yeast used to ferment it, it is a present in the fruit from which the wine is produced. While I have had far too much beer this evening to produce any links to back up this claim I will stake my reputation as an engineer, brewer and vintner that the stress undergone during the maturation of red wine grapes leads to the production of resveratrol. While tweaking yeast strains to reduce their impact on the resveratrol present in beer wort is an interesting idea, I would hazard that producing barley malt which contains a higher level of resveratrol would be much more likely to produce the desired result.

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