CERN Releases Analysis of LHC Incident 149
sash writes "From the fresh press release: 'Investigations at CERN following a large helium leak into sector 3-4 of the Large Hadron Collider tunnel have confirmed that cause of the incident was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. This resulted in mechanical damage and release of helium from the magnet cold mass into the tunnel.
Proper safety procedures were in force, the safety systems performed as expected, and no one was put at risk. Sufficient spare components are in hand to ensure that the LHC is able to restart in 2009, and measures to prevent a similar incident in the future are being put in place.'"
They got the idea from Deep Thought (Score:5, Funny)
Stop the Insanity!!! (Score:5, Funny)
That's what they want you to think. (Score:5, Funny)
What really happened is that the LHC destroyed the universe, but then put it back almost the same way as it was before, at least close enough that nobody noticed it.
"But," I hear you ask, "how could the LHC put the universe back together from inside a universe that, speaking rather loosely, did not at the moment exist?"
Well, an equivalent (from an observational standpoint) way of looking at it is that the LHC created a nearly exact duplicate parallel universe at the same time it destroyed the one it was currently residing in. However, it would be totally pointless to create an exact duplicate, otherwise how would you know you actually did it? So it ... left out a bit. Specifically the bit that was containing the liquid helium in LHC'.
It really is one hell of a parlor trick.
I've had experience dealing with this! (Score:4, Funny)
Meanwhile, in related news ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's what they want you to think. (Score:5, Funny)
I think I may have found one more difference in the new universe.
I woke up on the day of the accident with a goatee, which of course means I am my evil twin in this universe.
What really happened... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's what they want you to think. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's what they want you to think. (Score:2, Funny)
It's better than waking up with goatse
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Contrast that with, say, the Joint Strike Fighter program+purchases: "Total development costs are estimated at more than US$40 billion (underwritten largely by the United States), while the purchase of an estimated 2,400 planes is expected to cost an additional US$200 billion.[49]"
So all in all, the LHC is vastly better value for money.
Re:But but.... (Score:5, Funny)
Guarntee? Hell no. But there's usually a warranty: 30-day money back, 2 year with manufacturer (if you pay for shipping) and 1 year or more extensions by paying 20% or more of purchase price. If I were the USA or Europe, I would make a claim on the warranty. Return the LHC under the money-back or warranty terms. Besides, with all that helium leakage, its obvious that a bunch of Chipmunks run the whole show. So much for science. Bah!
1. Buy Monster Cables
2. Spend too much money
3. ????????????
4. Working LHC ?????
They're waiting for you, in the test chamber (Score:4, Funny)
Overhead capacitors to one oh five percent. Uh, it's
probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing a small discrepancy in... well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining sequence.
Re:That's what they want you to think. (Score:5, Funny)
CRAP! Why didn't I think of that!
I just got busted by the guys on my hockey team for wearing panties. When one of them asked how long I'd been doing that, I had to tell him, "Since my girlfriend found them in my glove box."
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Hey babe, wanna go for a ride in a fighter jet?
vs.
Hey babe, wanna go see my collider?
Fighter jet wins.
Re:Bleah. Big hassle. (Score:5, Funny)
It's all plumbing and electrical work.
Send in Joe the Plumber!
Re:Too bad (Score:4, Funny)
Collider? I barely know her!
Re:I've had experience dealing with this! (Score:4, Funny)
You work in tech support?