Virtual Fence Could Modernize the Old West 216
Hugh Pickens writes "For more than a century, ranchers in the West have kept cattle in place with fences of barbed wire, split wood and, more recently, electrified wires. Now, animal science researchers with the Department of Agriculture are working on a system that will allow cowboys to herd their cattle remotely via radio by singing commands and whispering into their ears and tracking movements by satellite and computer. A video of Dean Anderson, a researcher at the USDA's Jornada Experimental Range at Las Cruces, NM., shows how he has built radios that attach to an animal's head that allow a person at the other end to issue a range of commands — gentle singing, sharp commands, or a buzz like a bee or snake — to get the cattle to move where one wants them to. Anderson says it would cost $900 today to put a radio device on one head of cattle, but he says costs will fall and the entire herd wouldn't have to be outfitted, just the 'leaders.' Much of the research has focused on how cattlemen can identify which cattle in their herds are the ones that the others follow."
Rustlin' (Score:4, Funny)
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:5, Funny)
You've taken it way too seriously - in reality, the whole 'cattle herd' thing is an allegory for political parties. Read it again and it'll make sense this time.
A first step (Score:1, Funny)
"For more than a century, politicians in the West have kept sheeple in place with fences of barbed wire, split wood and, more recently, American Idol. Now Sheeple researchers with the Department of Homeland Security, are working on a system that will allow politicans to herd their sheeple remotely via radio by singing commands and whispering into their ears and tracking movements by satellite and computer. A video of Richard Dean Anderson, a researcher at [Secret Base], shows how he has built radios that attach to a sheeple's head (called bluetooth headsets) that allow a person at the other end to issue a range of commands -- gentle singing, sharp commands, or a buzz like a bee or snake -- to get the sheeple to move where one wants them to. Anderson says it would cost $900 today to put a radio device on one person, but he says costs will fall and the entire population wouldn't have to be outfitted, just the "troublemakers." Much of the research has focused on how DHS can identify which sheeple in their herds are the ones that the others follow."
I'm upping my tin foil.
Suddenly (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Rustlin' (Score:4, Funny)
You are right, we should be mounting laser cannons on them.
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:5, Funny)
Man..that is seriously going to fuck with good western movies from now on. How do you string up the rustler/hacker when the bad guy is in Russia, and you're in TX somewhere?
Screw Halo 3... (Score:5, Funny)
I wanna play World of Warcow.
Mooooo (Score:4, Funny)
- Please, come back to the stable!
Moooo!
- OK, you force me to use brute force!
Moooo
- I told you!
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Rustlin' (Score:3, Funny)
The last thing we need is land sharks.
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:5, Funny)
That sounds like my last trip to McDonalds. It's bovines serving bovines to bovines. Bovines all the way down.
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:5, Funny)
If I had a dime for every time I hid a cow in my bedroom...
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:5, Funny)
Personally I think it's worth sacrificing that old trope in exchange for the possibility that any mall anywhere in America could spontaneously be invaded by radio-controlled cows.
Re:This sounds laughably impractical (Score:3, Funny)
for the possibility that any mall anywhere in America could spontaneously be invaded by radio-controlled cows.
Possibility?
I see that every day, ...here at Walmart.
head vs. other end (Score:1, Funny)
> radios that attach to an animal's head that allow a person at the other end...
hmm, where's this person supposed to be, say again?