Space Observatory May Have Found Dark Matter 145
KentuckyFC writes to mention that new data from the orbiting observatory PAMELA may shed some additional light on the question of dark matter. Still only a preliminary announcement, the new findings apparently support the "Minimal Dark Matter" model, in which a particle called a "Wino" is responsible.
How dark? (Score:5, Funny)
The answer is none. None more darker.
Blame those who can't answer back (Score:5, Funny)
Thats right, when you can't find the real reason blame those too drunk to respond.
Winos are not responsible for every single badass event in the universe you know.
It could just as easily have been this Pamela woman.
A wino? (Score:5, Funny)
So it gets drunk on dark energy , trips over a neutrino and falls down a black hole where no one can see it?
I for one (Score:0, Funny)
umm...dark overlords at the center of the galaxy be welcomed!
Re:A wino? (Score:3, Funny)
One time I saw a wino eating matter before a galaxy collision with another galaxy
I was like "dude, you have to wait"
Re:How dark? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A wino? (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps that could also prove Hawking radiation. Winos get drunk and then eat too much, and then emit Hawking radiation all over the nearest park bench.
Re:How dark? (Score:4, Funny)
The bigger question: why does this matter? Quit leaving me in the dark!
Re:GNU know it better (Score:5, Funny)
Wino is a recursive acronym for "Wino Is Not Observable"
Finding things... (Score:3, Funny)
So, scientists say they may have found Dark Matter, eh?
I bet it was in the last place they looked...
I'll get me coat...
Re:Is that a troll? (Score:5, Funny)
I've always heard the opposite
I'm afraid the OP was correct. You can't shed light on dark matter because the dark will suck all the light, just like the sun sucks dark so hard that the friction of the dark moving to the sun causes it to become very hot. The flow of dark towards the sun interrupted by the earth causes the side of the earth away from the sun to accumulate dark, thus causing Night. As the earth rotates the dark caught on the night side can then be pulled off, this causing the absence of dark known as Day.
What we call light bulbs are truly dark suckers as well. That is why light bulbs are hot, just like the sun. When a light bulb is full of dark and won't suck dark any more, it cools off. If you look in old light bulbs you can even seen the accumulation of dark.
And when he said shed some dark on the matter of light mass, shed some mass in order to become become light I think he was referring to the fact that dark is heavier than water (in the oceans, the deeper you go, the darker it gets).
I don't know about lighting dark sheds bit, though. Maybe someone else?
Ah, well... (Score:4, Funny)
I assume they used Hobonic detectors.
Re:How dark? (Score:2, Funny)
Dare we dream - dark aluminum?!?
Re:Again? (Score:5, Funny)
This is the grown-up internet. You're allowed to say "fuck" here.
Re:GNU know it better (Score:4, Funny)
It's GNU/Wino, damnit!
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Re:How dark? (Score:3, Funny)
Just so you guys don't have to stop joking, the actual particles making up dark matter are called either WIMPs (weakly interacting massive particles) or WINOs.
We're not quite sure what the difference is though, or even if they care. The democratic convention was underway so they were all unavailable for comments.
Re:Again? (Score:3, Funny)
Welcome to the world of sensationalist media.
Yeah but this is /. -- that kind of sensationalist attention-grabbing headline removed from the reality of the actual story would never happen around here ;)