LHC Fully Documented Online 239
Physicser writes "Want to read every single technical detail of the design and construction of the Large Hadron Collider and its six detectors? The whole shebang — seven reports totaling 1600 pages, 115 MB, with contributions from 8000 scientists and engineers — has been published electronically by the Journal of Instrumentation, free to read without a subscription."
Want to read every single technical detail...? (Score:5, Funny)
Not particularly.
PR0N! (Score:5, Funny)
This is something to download, store away, and reminisce some 30 years later.
Cool! I'm going to get started on mine right away! (Score:5, Funny)
If you need me, I'll be in my basement.
doomed! (Score:4, Funny)
Now I can build my own the planet is DOOMED!
Look at this way... (Score:5, Funny)
...1600 pages for every detail of the making of a LHC, 6546 pages in the specs for OOXML and it's still not enough detail to let you open and create OOXML documents. Obviously the LHC is not adequately complex.
TL;DR (Score:3, Funny)
This is Slashdot... (Score:5, Funny)
Don't you mean your parent's basement?
Safe from black holes (Score:5, Funny)
At sixteen hundred pages, it can only create about a fourth of the suckiness of the OOXML standard. Since that hasn't generated a black hole - except for maybe a few terabytes of lost data here and there - we should be safe.
Re:Want to read every single technical detail...? (Score:4, Funny)
Actually you should. If you read between the lines--or better yet check the hidden information in the PDFs, you will find that they are hiding a certain set of circuitry labeled "B/H RETENT PD" with one dial normally set to 0. It's other setting: >0. And right under it there is a green indicator light with a label "DOOMSDAY DEVICE ACTIVE."
What does that mean? Don't touch that dial!
How come they get to be mad scientists? (Score:2, Funny)
I have actually done some theoretical calculations based upon other people/scientist's "crazy" theories, and it is possible that an explosion the equivalent to a 3 gigaton TNT explosion ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TNT_equivalent [wikipedia.org] ) to be created. Depending on where is happens, it might create a crater or hump ( http://nuclearweaponarchive.org/Library/Effects/UndergroundEffects.html [nuclearweaponarchive.org] ), but probably a crater between 10 kilometers to 18 kilometers wide. This explosion would probably create an earthquake between 8.5 and 10.5 on the ritcher scale ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richter_magnitude_scale [wikipedia.org] ) that is felt in Geneve, Switzerland, and an earth quake between 7 and 8.5 felt in Paris, France. The fun thing is that the amplitude of the quake would be very large, and the ground might not even shake more than twice due to the size of the whole thing.
Please note that these calculations assume that all the equipment works perfectly (, or a error of less than a thousandth of a percent). I did account for error in the calculations, especially how practical large/nuclear explosions tend to have caused slightly larger earthquakes than calculated ( http://oai.dtic.mil/oai/oai?verb=getRecord&metadataPrefix=html&identifier=AD0617181 [dtic.mil] ).
Other notes: There exists a chance that a huge explosion would just create a big crater with a small tunnel going toward the center of the earth. If you have trouble visualizing this, try visualizing the Death Star.
Is anyone else putting their aluminum foil hats on and thinking that these scientists are absolutely mad?! And why did these mad scientists get to have a chance to destroy the world before me?
Re:I would but.... (Score:2, Funny)
Except for the "luminosity-independent method" part, which I am not familiar with, I understood that pretty well, maybe I should give it a download, and of course, as many others have said, build my own...
I wonder what these president candidates will do about my constitutional right to bear doomsday devices...
Re:How come they get to be mad scientists? (Score:2, Funny)
Will I have to bother going into work the day after they fire this thing up?
Now that I have the plans (Score:2, Funny)
It's time I applied for my personalized Capital One credit card.
With sharks.
And lasers.
And maybe some ninja midgets.
And warkittens.
I found a vulnerability... (Score:5, Funny)
On page 867, there's mention of a two-meter-wide thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The exhaust shaft leads directly to the reactor system, and a precise hit would start a chain reaction which should destroy the LHC.
What 30 years later? (Score:5, Funny)
I thought that there will be no 30 years later after they turn on the machine...
Neat! (Score:5, Funny)
I especially like appendix B, or "Build Your Own Large Hadron Collider"
I totally have a project for this weekend!
Home Depot has extra large superconducting electromagnets, right?
Great... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I found a vulnerability... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I would but.... (Score:2, Funny)
Save them poor guys some bandwidth, torrent it.
I have Comcast you insensitive clod!
Re:I found a vulnerability... (Score:3, Funny)
Sounds pretty serious, can we cover it with some plywood or something?
Re:Want to read every single technical detail...? (Score:5, Funny)
It's like a giant hula-hoop(TM), lying on the ground, with tiny bits of things forced to circle inside it until they collide with one another, which results in the Earth disappearing into a black hole.
Re:What 30 years later? (Score:5, Funny)
If you end up in some evil mirror universe where W became President instread of Gore you could use the plans to build another LHC to get back home.
Re:Okay, other options (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How come they get to be mad scientists? (Score:4, Funny)
Quick tip: "quotes" don't make theories less "crazy".
You disappoint me... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I would but.... (Score:5, Funny)
Summary. The experience of Totem will measure the intersection of pp completed by the method of brightness and independent study and the rubber band diffractive dispersing the LHC. To fulfill the best possible coverage for advanced charged particles issued by conflicts pp mutual action show télescopes IP5, two of pistage, T1 and T2, will be installed on each side of the region of pseudofastness 3,1 | | 6,5 and Roman stations Pot will be at a distance of 147 meters ±
Re:I would but.... (Score:2, Funny)
To achieve optimum forward coverage for charged particles emitted by the pp collisions in the interaction point
Warning: Do not cross the streams! This must really be a doomsday device.
Re:Want to read every single technical detail...? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Want to read every single technical detail...? (Score:4, Funny)
You know, for kids.
Re:Okay, other options (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Okay, other options (Score:4, Funny)
Announcing the Hadron XPrize (Score:4, Funny)
Help to save the world from being destroyed by a black hole! The specs to the LHC (Large Hole Creator) are available. Create a detailed proof showing that the LHC will create a planet-destroying black hole when it is switched on. Send the proof, with your $75 entry fee, directly to me. The person submitting the first valid proof will be awarded a prize of $50 Million, to be awarded on Sept 12th.
Re:What 30 years later? (Score:5, Funny)
W+ or W-?
And what's with Z?
Re:I would but.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I would but.... (Score:1, Funny)
At first I was scared. Then I heard about the Roman pot stations. Now I am not so scared. A little anxious and famished for Cheetos, but not scared.
Some of us have better taste (Score:5, Funny)
Well, first of all, some of us have better taste than to wear a loincloth. A robe and wizard hat, for example, is much more stylish and comfortable for the aspiring sorcerer or warlock. A toga picta works too, for the aspiring Emperor. Well, at least until mom catches wind that you dyed one of her bedsheets purple ;)
But a loincloth? Ugh. We're civilized people, not some barbarians.
Second, some of us have our own basement to defend, thank you very much. I mean, have you tried taking over the world from your mom's basement? Ooer, talk about frustrating. It would go sorta like this.
Me: "Now we open the prayer books to the dark invocation psalm and..."
Mom (poking her head in): "Anyone want milk and cookies?"
Cultist 1: "I'll have some, please."
Cultist 2: "Me too."
Me: "Mooom!!"
Mom: "Oh, hush. Nice dress, by the way."
Me: "Mom, it's a robe."
Mom: "Sure it is. I just want you to know me and dad support your lifestyle choices."
Cultist 3: "Told you it looks gay."
Cultist 1: "Yeah."
Me: "Mom, you're interrupting our invocation!"
Mom: "Oh, hush, I'm your mom, I'm allowed to. What are you guys playing anyway? Dungeons and Dragons?"
Me: "No, it's serious. And you can start calling me High Overlord Moraelin the First."
Mom: "High, huh? Well, you know me and dad don't approve of _that_, but I guess it would explain a few things."
Cultist 4: "Heh!"
Me: "*sigh* Where are the sacrificial dagger and the sacred chalice anyway?"
Mom: "You mean our kitchen knife? I put it in the dishwasher, together with that plastic cup you had there. They were getting ridiculously dirty, and it's just not healthy."
Cultist 3: "Told ya."
A trip to the kitchen later:
Group chanting: "Nigrae legiones, ferus imperator, sinus occultus, fatum terminatum"
Mom (poking nose in again): "By the way, I'm going to sleep. Try to keep the noise down, please."
Me: "Ok, mom."
Mom: "By the way is that the chorus from Das Omen?"
Me: "No, it's an ancient and sacred invocation.."
Cultist 2: "Nah, I googled it, it's E Nomine."
Cultist 1: "Owned."
Cultist 4: "I thought you said you only listened to metal?"
Me: "Gah! Fine by me, chant Dies Irae if it makes you feel any better."
Cultist 3: "Why do we have to chant in Latin anyway?"
Me: "Because we're summoning an arsehole of a demon, and he wants it that way."
Mom: "Anyway, keep it down and turn off the lights when you're done, ok?"
Me: "Ok, mom. Now where were we?"
Cultist 3: "You know, screw this. Let's skip the henchman and work for the real overlord. Do you happen to need some accolytes, Mrs?"
Cultist 1: "Seconded."
Cultist 2: "No kidding."
Cultist 4: "Actually, I'm out of here. I promised mom I'll be home by eleven anyway."
(Disclaimer: it's fiction.)
Re:Neat! (Score:3, Funny)
No, they dont. Wal-Mart has Yttrium, Barium, and Copper Oxides on sale right now though
Ummm... isn't traffic in human beings illegal? Or do I not count? Please don't buy me. :-(
- Yttrium Oxide
Re:Want to read every single technical detail...? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Wait! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Okay, other options (Score:2, Funny)