Research Suggests Polygamous Men Live Longer 483
Calopteryx writes "Want to live a little longer? Get a second wife. A study reported in New Scientist suggests that men from polygamous cultures outlive those from monogamous ones. After accounting for socioeconomic differences, men aged over 60 from 140 countries that practice polygamy to varying degrees lived on average 12% longer than men from 49 mostly monogamous nations."
I would have thought the opposite (Score:5, Funny)
I would have thought having multiple sets of in-laws would shorten your life expectancy through frustration alone...
Related to an old joke (Score:5, Funny)
Forwarding this to my wife... (Score:5, Funny)
...and I'll even share! I'm all for watching girl-on-girl action!
That being said, as much as my wife and I both love naked chicks, I can't imagine being married to more than one woman, let alone surviving longer from it. One woman is enough to kill me.
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:5, Funny)
Not only that, how does going from ONE nagging wife to TWO nagging wives make for longevity??
Re:Forwarding this to my wife... (Score:3, Funny)
The catch here is that polygamy implies marriage. Now if they just changed it to "hot group action" or "friends with benefits" then I'd be demanding that this longevity effect be covered under health insurance.
Irony... (Score:2, Funny)
Another reply here had a link to a study about how humans almost died out 70k years ago. Boring, but linked to THAT was a theory that the reason men generally live *shorter* lives than women was polygamy. According to the theory, having multiple reproductive partners (a harem) tends to produce larger, stronger, but more short lived males: since it takes a lot of strength to fend off the other males from taking your harem, but it happens eventually anyway, so why live a long life?
Combined with this study, one comes to the conclusion that studs outlive wimps, but women outlive them all.
Bitches.
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:5, Funny)
Not only that, how does going from ONE nagging wife to TWO nagging wives make for longevity??
Maybe it just *seems* like his life is longer?
"Sit on a hot stove for a minute and it feels like an hour; sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it feels like a minute. Live with two wives and it makes sitting on a hot stove look pretty good." (with apologies to Albert Einstein)
Wrong forum (Score:5, Funny)
Since no one here has a even a girlfriend, I would say this is neither news for nerds or stuff that matters. :(
Science News of the Day (Score:3, Funny)
"But honey, it's for my health!"
Question (Score:5, Funny)
I have only one question: what is the list of polygamous nations?
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Wrong forum (Score:3, Funny)
I do too have a girlfriend, you insensitive clod!
She lives in Canada. You wouldn't know her.
Confucius say (Score:4, Funny)
Confucius say "Man who hosts two women under one roof sleep in doghouse."
Re:Related to an old joke (Score:5, Funny)
(except Hans Reiser)
Attempts to convince your wife... (Score:5, Funny)
May shorten your life expectancy.
Re:Wrong forum (Score:3, Funny)
OK, on behalf of those of us who live in Canada and actually have girlfriends .... *phbtbtbbtbt*. :-P
Cheers
I just asked my wife about this (Score:5, Funny)
I think you ust hit the mail on the head (Score:5, Funny)
I suspect that people who are happy with their lives in general will live longer.
There are studies that show that married people live longer than those who are not.
There are studies that claim that happily married people live longer than those who are not happy in their marriage.
What makes men happy?
Being a guy I know I am happier when I get more opportunity for some "good" lovin' from my woman.
Do you see where I'm going with this? It's all about what makes you happy (imho).
Now then, the next question is: What makes women happy?
Figure that out and your onto something.
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:2, Funny)
i'm outraged! (Score:5, Funny)
Why was I not invited to participate in this study? No matter which test group you are assigned to, you end up getting tail. I happen to be a strong proponent of getting tail.
Re:Question (Score:5, Funny)
I have only one question: what is the list of polygamous nations?
And the follow up, are they looking for more engineers?
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:3, Funny)
Chop, Chop, Dig, Dig, Chop, Chop, Dig, Dig...
I hear digging, but I don't hear chopping!
You've completely missed it (Score:5, Funny)
Now then, the next question is: What makes women happy?
Figure that out and your onto something.
More like "figure that out, and she'll change her mind"
Just kidding, honey! Honest.
Re:I will live forever! (Score:2, Funny)
In seriousness, I'm not surprised. From living this way for a while, I see a lot less stress on all parties most of the time. When there is stress, it's easier to deal with as you have a stronger close-knit support structure.
See. That's exactly what *I* thought. Then I tried to explain this to my wife, and, well, let me just say that at this point, I can see why monogamous men don't live as long -- they try to explain to their wife how great it would be to be polygamous...
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:3, Funny)
how does going from ONE nagging wife to TWO nagging wives make for longevity??
What I can't figure. Some of the ancient kings who had a hundred, two hundred wives all living in the same palace. With the dorm effect, could you imagine that? No wonder they fought so many wars back then. 200 wives all on the rag at the same time, I'd be ready to go to war. Who's with me?
Re:Nah (Score:5, Funny)
Who says you have to have multiple sets of in-laws? Just marry sisters and/or brothers, or heck, marry the in-laws too!
Re:You've completely missed it (Score:4, Funny)
Women aren't happy unless they are miserable.
Re:Ridiculous (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Science News of the Day (Score:3, Funny)
Make sure you have an ambulance stand by.
Re:Related to an old joke (Score:3, Funny)
No, but she knows how to read his Slashdot comments.
Women and misery: a study in redundancy. (Score:5, Funny)
Oppsie, typo. Fixed it for you
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:5, Funny)
Why do women live longer than men?
They refuse to die until they have the last word.
Why do men die sooner than women?
For the peace and quiet.
(ducks for cover
Re:I will live forever! (Score:3, Funny)
If people expect longevity in marriage because of Romeo and Juliet, then they aren't familiar with the play.
Really old polygamy joke (slightly modernized)... (Score:2, Funny)
A doctor, lawyer, and programmer are discussing the pros and cons of polygamy.
The doctor says, "Nah, that's not for me! Think of all the stress, one wife's tough enough on the ticker, two would kill me!"
The lawyer says "No, thanks. What if one wife wanted to divorce, and the other didn't, what happens to the property? How does the estate get handled? That, and I think it might be illegal, but don't quote me."
The programmer jams his glasses into his nose and says "What do you mean, guys, this would be great! I'd tell the first wife that I was with the second wife, then I'd tell the second wife I was with the first, and then, I could go read Slashdot in peace!"
Duty Roster (Score:5, Funny)
Wife#1 - Head Wife , as in lead wife, the matriarch of the harem. For head wife, see #7
Wife#2 - Sports equipment maintenance: cleans balls, buffs club heads, wipes shafts, etc. For similar duties see wife #7
Wife#3 - Food servicing: food prep for friends, beer fetcher, pizza gofer, etc.
Wife#3 - Personal comfort: Fanning, AC/heat control, recliner inclination monitor, foot massage, etc.
Wife#4 - Communications: answering phone with excuses as to why husband can't answer, getting the door, etc.
Wife#5 - Media control: Monitoring location of all TV and video remote controls, summarizing viewing habits of husband and printing list of shows for him, etc.
Wife#6 - Cleaning: Washing, ironing, vacuuming, etc.
Wife#7 - Head Wife - oh yeah!
Wife#s8,9,10 - Bedtime playmates, multiple partners to alleviate boredom.
Wife#11 - Backup wife for positions 1-10
Wife#12 - Secondary (redundant) backup wife.
Wife#13 - I have no idea why he would need a 13th wife! What a self-centered A-hole!
Obviously... (Score:3, Funny)
The lives of men with many wives only SEEM longer...
Re:Nah (Score:3, Funny)
Well, if you are feeling disgusting enough, you could marry your own sister, and end up with no in-laws at all, for extra points.
(And yes, I _can_ think of more disgusting alternatives)
Re:Duty Roster (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Nah (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I would have thought the opposite (Score:2, Funny)
My Wife's best Friend moved in with us for a while and that did reflect my reality.
Dear Penthouse....
Original fortune (Score:3, Funny)
fortune -m "get some work done"
(men-women)
A sociologist, a psychologist, and a engineer were discussing the
consequences and implications of a married man's having a mistress. The
sociologist's opinion was that it is absolutely and categorically unforgivable
for a married man to forfeit the bond of matrimony, and engage in such lowly
and lustful pursuits.
The psychologist's opinion was that although morally reprehensible,
if a man MUST have a mistress to achieve his full potential as a human being,
then -- well -- he may go ahead and choose to have a mistress, as long as he
is considerate enough to keep this secret from his wife.
The engineer then interjected: "I also believe that, if necessary,
a married man is entitled to a mistress. However, I do not see why the
affair should be concealed from the wife. On the contrary, if the affair
is out in the open, then on Friday evenings he may tell his wife that he
is going to see his mistress, tell his mistress that he is going to be with
his wife, then go to his office and get some work done!"