Fingerprint Test Tells Much More Than Identity 166
Mike sends in the story of a new fingerprint technology with interesting potential for both crime detection and rights violations; there are also intriguing possibilities in fighting cancer. "Using a variation of mass spectrometry called 'desorption electrospray ionization' or 'Desi,' a fingerprint can identify what the person has been touching — drugs, explosives, or poisons, for example. Writing in the Friday issue of the journal Science, R. Graham Cooks, a professor of chemistry at Purdue University, and his colleagues describe how the technique could find a wider application in crime investigations. As it becomes cheaper and more widely available, the Desi technology has potential ethical implications, Cooks said. Instead of drug tests, a company could surreptitiously check for illegal drug use of its employees by analyzing computer keyboards after the employees have gone home, for instance."
Re:Privacy (Score:5, Funny)
A few dabs on your fingertips should hold back any substances while you bang away on the keyboard at work. Of course your employer may wonder why you have no fingerprints.
The more things change... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Goatseeee (Score:5, Funny)
Thank God it wasn't a Rick Roll.
Wiener (Score:5, Funny)
Oh great, another technology for Hollywood (Score:5, Funny)
CSI Wolfe: "We were able to lift half a fingerprint from the edge of the pencil the killer used to stab the victim in the eye..."
Lt. Caine: "Did you do a DESI test?"
CSI Wolfe: Yes, it indicated that the killer just got done eating a ham sandwich at the sub shop across the street before driving over here in his blue Toyota Corolla"
Lt. Caine: "License plate number?"
CSI Wolfe: "There wasn't quite enough on the print to get a complete number, we are having the computer analyze it to fill in the blanks."
Lt. Caine: "I guess you could say, [fill in useless plot device here]"
Music: "YEEEEAAAAHHHH"
Re:Privacy (Score:5, Funny)
Nah they can test all they want, find the dope and I'll be all like "OMGWTF what is marijuana? I have NEVER even seen it let alone touched it. Someone must of sabatoged my desk." Then everyday before work I would sprinkle a little crystal on the coffee pot handle.
Nose picking implications (Score:1, Funny)
Instead of drug tests, a company could surreptitiously check for illegal drug use of its employees by analyzing computer keyboards after the employees have gone home, for instance.
The first thought that popped into my head after reading that was "Oh no, now my employers will know I pick my nose during break!".
Re:Wiener (Score:4, Funny)
Hahaha! Ah, Mr. Schwantz, you're so naive! I repeatedly touched your wiener just now. Your tests show nothing.
100's only (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Signed? (Score:5, Funny)
That's awesome to see websites catering to people's disabilities. Now if they only had a device that output song lyrics in braille, blind people will be able to listen to songs for the first time!
Re:Oh great, another technology for Hollywood (Score:5, Funny)
Lt. Caine: "I guess you could say, {removes glasses} [fill in useless plot device here]"
Fixed that for you :)
Re:Oh great, another technology for Hollywood (Score:1, Funny)
500'000'000 Americans?
Re:Privacy (Score:3, Funny)
What would the company do after 75% of its keyboards test hot for dope?
I guess they'd fire the stoner IT guy.
Re:Signed? (Score:1, Funny)
So this mute guy walks into a store. The clerk comes up to him and asks what he needs. The mute guy begins motioning as if he's brushing his teeth. The clerk says, "Ahh.. you want a toothbrush. Look in aisle five."
A couple minutes later a blind guy walks in. What does he do to tell the clerk that he needs sunglasses?
Re:Unlikely (Score:5, Funny)
Don't blame the Desis. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Unlikely (Score:5, Funny)
Well, Mr. Anderson. The evidence indicates that either you are a coke fiend, or you have recently handled money.
This presents an interesting dilemma for us, as we do not pay you enough to either afford blow or to have money to handle. We have come to the conclusion that you have obtained outside employment. You are no longer necessary. Please pack your things and leave.
Re:Even crimes solving is out-of-question. (Score:3, Funny)
> you *can* (and actually *do already*) trust answers you get from high sensitivity MS machine.
I'd drifted off by here but the use of MS and trust jolted me back out of reality!