White House Briefed On "Potential For Life" On Mars

Veeoh writes "FTA: It would appear that the US President has been briefed by Phoenix scientists about the discovery of something more 'provocative' than the discovery of water existing on the Martian surface. This news comes just as the Thermal and Evolved Gas Analyzer (TEGA) confirmed experimental evidence for the existence of water in the Mars regolith on Thursday."

Big and black

[florin]

It's always provocative when you hear they spotted a big black monolith in the regolith.

His first response was probably to ask if this meant Jenna was pregnant.

woo

[nomadic]

How fortunate that a potentially major scientific discovery happens on President Bush's watch. His keen intellect, intense curiousity of the natural world, and scientific rationality has been such a boon to our country and indeed our world.

they found osama?

[Lilo-x]

damn, he hid good!!

Already?

[koma77]

Wow, are they already out of funds? That was fast.

Right to (Kill) Life

[Doc Ruby]

If there's life, we can kill it. If there's been life for a long time, it's probably left an oily residue somewhere.

Prepare for the Space War I! Spreading democracy throughout the Solar System!

Amazing discovery

[Sebilrazen]

It's probably some form of Martian Lichen growing on one of the equipment arms that is kept above freezing by the waste heat from the nuclear batteries. They'll let us know that it's some sort of f'd up moss that has been causing some of the problems with doing their experiments.</wishful_thinking>

Sheesh

[Davemania]

For a moment I though NASA discovered intelligent lifeforms in the white house.

Potential life?

[NetSettler]

Finally an iron-clad reason to keep the Republicans from aborting Mars missions...

At least until we find actual life, when I guess they'll stop caring and start suggesting that such life invest in its own individual retirement plan.

Re:are the muslim?

[neongrau]

NASA Scientist: Mr. President we have confirmed there is water in the martian soil!

Bush: What? The Martians have oil? Can we still extract the water to produce gasoiline?

First question by the President

[Puffy Director Pants]

How do we deport these Illegal Aliens?

Re:woo

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, Bush'll never have a plan to get back to Earth!

Re:Right to (Kill) Life

[Cylix]

Don't worry, I'm making the call to the Republican Space Rangers at this very moment!

Meanwhile...

[owlnation]

...The President of Mars was briefed about the improbability of Intelligent Life governing the Earth.

Re:Colour me confused

[Random BedHead Ed]

Heed my word, my brothers, for I have RTFA!

Mod parent down! Parent read the linked article and has an informed opinion. Alert! Alert!

Re:Obama for Mars?

[twotailakitsune]

Here is a hint. [slashdot.org]

That's Easy

[Mateorabi]

They got some grainy camera shots of Decepticons right before they lost the signal.

Re:Colour me confused

[pz]

Duh, they've discovered OIL on Mars!

Missed opportunity

[MadFarmAnimalz]

This news comes just as the Thermal and Evolved Gas Analyzer (TEGA)

If they'd just spent a little more time thinking it through, they could probably have come up with something more appropriate like Field Aerosol Recognition Thermal Sensing Nonionic Interference Failtested Frankly Erotic Robot. The resulting acronym would, I am sure, have been more memorable.

Gore will be dancing

[the eric conspiracy]

The found evidence of Martian Global Warming.

Re:Colour me confused

[ortholattice]

So what can be the big story they want to tell the President first?

They found an image of Jesus in one of the soil samples.

Re:2008 just called...

[ColdWetDog]

And it's damn odd that scientific results have to be 'discussed' with him before they're released.

Not at all. They're being kind and considerate. They know it's going to take him a lot longer to figure out than most people. It is really embarrassing when the "leader" of the "free world" doesn't get it.

Re:2008 just called...

[pitchpipe]

2008 just called...[...]and all some people can do is keep hating the past.

2048 just called, and they want their time machine back. Also, I just hung up the phone with 1987 and they want their fucking stupid joke back.

Then the presidential cabinet convened

[LM741N]

to discuss ways to combat Martian terrorism. President Bush said "The War on Martian Terrorism" has just begun. Billions will be needed for various agencies to fight against the interplanetary menace.

Re:Colour me confused

[Pollardito]

So what can be the big story they want to tell the President first?

My bet is that they've spent half a day trying to explain to him that "it's not butter"

Re:woo

[Anonymous Coward]

Not now, batin'!

Re:woo

[DeadDecoy]

Well we can't pull out of Mars just yet you see. It's a quagmire out there and if we leave, the aliens will win. We need a troop surge so we can secure our way of life and liberate the shit out of them.

Does this mean enemies were discovered?

[OKCfunky]

But will this knowledge being passed to the administration be lost in translation such it's interpreted that a possible Al Qaeda cell has been found? At the very minimum, does it posit that WMD have been discovered on Mars that threatens the fabric of American society.

As a neocon, I demand to know if this encroaches on intelligent design as well.

Re:Big and black

[VennData]

Naw, Bush'll say that look, now that we've discovered life, we can stop funding this wasteful gov't boondoggle and give the money back to the people.

Re:woo

[SupremoMan]

Just tell him you found Oil there, he will get you back in a jippy.

Re:woo

[noidentity]

How fortunate that a potentially major scientific discovery happens on President Bush's watch. His keen intellect, intense curiousity of the natural world, and scientific rationality has been such a boon to our country and indeed our world.

I know you're joking, but Bush did find an error in some Fermilab calculations [theonion.com] a while back. Don't underestimate him.

Re:Colour me confused

[Anonymous Coward]

So what can be the big story they want to tell the President first?

They found Slartibartfast's signature.

russians

[Anonymous Coward]

They found a Russian colony!

Re:2008 just called...

[rantingkitten]

And it's damn odd that scientific results have to be 'discussed' with him before they're released.

Not really. They knew he'd need more time than the average person to comprehend the news, so they're giving him a little head start.

what a load of shit

[Anonymous Coward]

someone tell me when this is exciting. The NAZI's have been on Mars since the 1950's.

Re:woo

[uncoveror]

Viking found a lot more than microbes. It found the Zhti Ti Kofft! Read all about it. http://www.uncoveror.com/nomars.htm [uncoveror.com] http://www.uncoveror.com/zhtitikofft.htm [uncoveror.com]