Floating Cities On Venus 501
Geoffrey.landis writes "Some of you may have heard me talk about colonizing Venus. Well, for those who haven't, Universe Today is running story about floating cities on Venus. It's a reasonable alternative for space colonies — after all, the atmosphere of Venus (at about 50 km) is the most Earth-like environment in the solar system (other than Earth, of course). '50 km above the surface, Venus has air pressure of approximately 1 bar and temperatures in the 0C-50C range, a quite comfortable environment for humans. Humans wouldn't require pressurized suits when outside, but it wouldn't quite be a shirtsleeves environment. We'd need air to breathe and protection from the sulfuric acid in the atmosphere.'"
Instant Global Warming (Score:5, Funny)
Just move closer to the Sun.
uhh huh (Score:4, Funny)
Flying cars? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:One question (Score:5, Funny)
Just think of the limericks!
There once was a man on Venus..
Is that all? (Score:5, Funny)
We'd need air to breathe and protection from the sulfuric acid in the atmosphere.
Well, we'd need all that plus the floating cities. Plus a way to get there would be nice, and a regular ferry to keep the supplies like food and such arriving. But aside from all that we are ready to move in.
don't trust the locals (Score:5, Funny)
Modify people, not planets. (Score:5, Funny)
Rather than try to change planets, it may be easier to genetically engineer people who are resistant to sulfuric acid ( or they may evolve naturally in China if nothing is done about their acid rain which is reaching a pH of 3.5 )
[ Please, no jokes about acid-resistant Chinese overlords ]
Re:One question (Score:5, Funny)
And our reason for going to Venus is...?
Well.. from the summary:
We'd need air to breathe and protection from the sulfuric acid in the atmosphere.'"
Some people might be feeling nostalgic and remember life in down-town Tokyo or New York or something, but just want to live in a new neighbourhood.
Too much minerals but... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Modify people, not planets. (Score:5, Funny)
What jokes? I, for one, welcome them!
Re:don't trust the locals (Score:5, Funny)
Where else but /. could you accidentally replace a geeky reference with an even geekier reference?
Re:Modify people, not planets. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Is that all? (Score:3, Funny)
But aside from all that we are ready to move in.
Great! I'll need your first and last months rent and as soon as the check clears our company's Venus shuttle service will call you to schedule a pick up time.
Re:Should put something on our moon.. (Score:2, Funny)
Getting off is the hard part.
Not really, once you get internet access there, just start googling for barely legal martian co-eds. Hmm... that kinda re-defines illegal aliens doesn't it?
Re:One question (Score:5, Funny)
there once was a man upon Venus
her angry he was the wrong genus
as a mortal peon
cursed for an eon
the goddess to give cunnilingus
Re:Modify people, not planets. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:One question (Score:2, Funny)
who had a very big penis
he caused her pain
she came again
then rodgered him up the anus.
Re:One question (Score:2, Funny)
duh.
men go to mars.
women go to venus.
Re:Instant Global Warming (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Back to the future IV (Score:5, Funny)
Those parts of the world will have people that cannot AFFORD to take those kinds of precautions.
Which means that they will eventually die or move out and thus the pollution will diminish a level of equilibrium again.
The invisible hand of free market will once again make everything come right!
Re:One question (Score:3, Funny)
If you want limericks, colonizing Uranus would be funnier.
Re:Instant Global Warming (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, my libito does weird things to.
Re:Atmospheric dynamics (Score:5, Funny)
Do we know enough about the atmospheric dynamics of Venus? Is there something similar to a jet stream
Yes, Venus has her Quintessential Upper Electroionosphere Enchanted Fluvial (QUEEF) zone. Most people don't think its air you can breath safely, but that mostly comes from old wive's tail. Some think you would be fortunate just to be in the area of an honest-to-god Venus QUEEF zone.
Re:One question (Score:5, Funny)
There once was a man upon Venus
Who'd originally been born on Minas
He came a long distance
With cheery persistence
But alas! His bride had a ten inch dick
Fix Venus with Limes (Score:5, Funny)
...You put de Lime in de Venus and She drink it all up
You put de Lime in de Venus and it stop de Global Warming.
Doctor...
Re:Is that all? (Score:1, Funny)
A bit o' the old Grey Ash ought to do you right. Heard it's hard to come by these days, however.
Re:One question (Score:5, Funny)
I sense a divide-by-zero error.
Limricks are for lepricons (Score:4, Funny)
Why not a song for the rest of us pastafarians! Arrr, maties!
Aboard the good ship Venus,
You really should have seen us,
With a figurehead of a whore in bed,
And a mast of a phallic penis.
The captain of the lugger,
Was known as a filthy bugger,
Declared unfit to shovel shit,
From one ship to another.
The cabin boys name was Chipper,
A Randy little nipper,
He made a pass with a broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
The first mate's name was Morgan,
By gosh, he was a gorgon,
From half past eight he played till late,
Upon the captain's organ
The captain's wife was Charlotte,
Born and bred a harlot,
Her thighs at night were lily white,
By morning they were scarlet.
The captain's daughter, Mabel,
Though young, was fresh and able,
To fornicate with the second mate,
Upon the chartroom table.
The captain's younger daughter,
Was washed into the water,
Her plaintive squeals announced that eels,
Had found her sexual quarter.
The ship's dog's name was Rover,
We turned that poor thing over,
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover.
And when we reached our station,
Through skillful navigation,
The ship got sunk, in a wave of spunk,
From too much fornication.
I am glad that slashdot has a/c
Re:Too much minerals but... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Huh? (Score:5, Funny)
aciiiiiiiid raaaaaaaaain
on venus in your lungs it causes pain
aciiiiiiiiid raaaaaaaaain
to colonize some say is just insane
aciiiiiiiid raaaaaaaaain
see cities well they just don't fly like planes
Re:don't trust the locals (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Go naked and get crushed under 90 atm pressure (Score:3, Funny)
Because people here know that pressure drops as altitude increases. For others, this fact might be "news" or "rubbish".
Note that there are hazards when you're outside that floating city, but pressure isn't one of them. Lack of oxygen, presence of sulfuric acid, and of course the need for SPF measured in powers of ten are.
Re:Huh? (Score:5, Funny)
**i move away from the planet to breath in
Re:Too much minerals but... (Score:4, Funny)
kekekekekeke
Re:One question (Score:5, Funny)
There once was a man on Venus
Who decided to play with his penis
But the sulfuric acid
Made it far worse than flaccid
And he was left with no cock for his genius
Re:Don't spend ... save (Score:5, Funny)
Are the stairs that steep?
Burying the Lead... (Score:3, Funny)
Sulfuric acid...yes, that's quite a pickle, that atmospheric sulfuric acid...gets you every time...might want to think carefully about ways to deal with that one....
Re:Limricks are for lepricons (Score:3, Funny)
There was friggin' in the riggin',
Wankin' in the plankin'
Masturbatin' in the cratin',
There was fuck-all else to do!
A/C is for sissies. :D
Re:So we'd need to... (Score:5, Funny)
Distance. Jupiter is 4.2AU away as the crow flies
That's one crow I gotta see.
CO2? (Score:3, Funny)
What is all-important is the composition of Venus' atmosphere, which is largely made up of C02 and other greenhouse forcing gases.
What does CO2 have to do with planetary warming? I thought that was still a theory? ;)
Re:One question (Score:3, Funny)
there's an aura of sexual free-ness.
With no effort or money,
you can orgy with honey,
or have midgets paint poems on your penis.
Re:Instant Global Warming (Score:3, Funny)
Radiation burns. They only add to the charming description of living on Venus in this story...
Idyllic!
The altitude, temperature and sulphuric acid - the lack of a 'shirtsleeve environment - remind me of staying in Mexico City.
Re:Too much minerals but... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:"LV-426 Shake-and-bake" Terraforming... (Score:3, Funny)
I know I'm in a conversation over my head when building a new planet is considered relatively "easy"