NASA Plans Probe to the Sun

FudRucker writes "For more than 400 years, astronomers have studied the sun from afar. Now NASA has decided to go there. 'We are going to visit a living, breathing star for the first time,' says program scientist Lika Guhathakurta of NASA Headquarters. 'This is an unexplored region of the solar system and the possibilities for discovery are off the charts.'"

Wait. I saw this...

[baldass_newbie]

Airplane 2.

Can we

[Diss Champ]

select a few of our favorite people as crew for that mission?

Sweet!!

[porkUpine]

I volunteer my boss to be the first asshole on the sun!

Re:Okay?

[CyprusBlue113]

It's easy, we'll just go at night

Solar Power

[Drakin020]

I guess providing power to the device via solar power would be a good option.

After all...It will be right next to the source.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Solar Power

[Anonymous Coward]

Won't work, since (as many posts point out) they'll have to send it at night...

replete...

[rodney dill]

Solar Probe+'s repeated plunges into the corona will be accomplished by means of Venus flybys.

...with sexual connotations.

Pack the sun cream..

[slashmojo]

SPF Eleventy Million

Think, then open mouth

[orclevegam]

'We are going to visit a living, breathing star for the first time,'

As opposed to all those dead stars we've been visiting recently.

off the charts

[bsDaemon]

I would imagine most things would be, as I strongly suspect the charts to burn up prior to impact.

Oblig.

[Khyber]

"That's hot!"

Bad project name

[Chemisor]

With NASA's record, they ought to have named this project "Icarus", 'cause that's what will happen to it.

Re:Okay?

[Anonymous Coward]

My first thought when I saw the headline was "look for the setup and deliver the old joke". Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking like that. Well done to both of you (I'm pretty sure the setup was intentional).

Predicted probe results:

[snarfies]

1) The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
2) A gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees.
3) The sun is hot - the sun it not a place where we can live, but here on Earth there'd be no life without the light it gives.

"Bend over..."

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

"This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me!"

Typical Government waste

[140Mandak262Jamuna]

The scientists and astrophysicists themselves agree that the Sun is going to become a Red Giant and it will expand past the orbit of Jupiter. Instead of just setting up the instruments and wait for the Sun to come to us, these typical, arrogant, pie-in-the-sky, ivory tower, disconnected elites are coming up with yet another proposal to tax and spend out tax dollars. Enough!. Just wait. What is 5 billion years to a government program? I ask.

Water on the sun?

[tensop]

In the news: "NASA Scientists discover trace possibilities of water on the sun, 3 more trips planned"

Re:Okay?

[Firehed]

Even diamonds are not tough enough... Above 1700 C (1973 K / 3583 F) diamonds are converted into graphite.

I guess I need to buy a pack of pencils and throw them in the freezer. I'll be rich overnight!

Re:isn't the corona really hot?

[Firehed]

That's a 21-year-old textbook. I think it's had plenty of time to cool off.

There's a better way!

[Xenographic]

Pffft. Everyone knows you should use metaphasic shielding [memory-alpha.org].

In other news...

[kpainter]

NASA plans to probe Uranus

Re:Okay?

[suggsjc]

Ugh, I barely like corona when it is ice cold...that has got to taste awful.

But I guess if they can figure out how to bottle it and get it back to earth, then I guess that will change the whole "free as in beer" saying.

Re:Typical Government waste

[rworne]

What is 5 billion years to a government program? I ask.

Ahead of schedule?

Don't worry NASA is not stupid.

[goombah99]

NASA knows the probe will burn up in the sun, so that's why they plan to land it at night.

Re:Don't worry NASA is not stupid.

[MikeDirnt69]

You're wrong. They will do during the next full eclipse.

Results

[sgilti]

"I'm sorry NASA, but the Princess is in another solar system."

I'll tell you where you can stick that probe!

[gsgriffin]

I guess they decided to stick that probe where the sun does shine...call the probe the Enimator?

Poorly titled article...

[callinyouin]

Should have been named "NASA Plans to get Hott".
Yeah.
That would have grabbed my attention. Hott... with 2 t's.

On a serious note, I hope this will be a manned mission?

Oblig. Mr. Burns

[Anonymous Coward]

Smithers: Well, Sir, you've certainly vanquished all your enemies: the Elementary School, the local tavern, the old age home...you must be very proud.

Burns: No, not while my greatest nemesis still provides our customers with free light, heat and energy. I call this enemy...the sun.
Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing...block it out!

Re:It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

[BlackSnake112]

SunStarShip1: Earth we are positioning the cooling device now.

Earth: Good let us know when it is in position.

SunStarShip1: OK it is in position. Temperatures are dropping as we speak.

Earth: good. Carry out the tests. Then report back.
.
.
.
10 hours later
.

SunStarShip1: Earth, tests completed. We can now create cold fusion.
SunStarShip1: Earth?
SunStarShip1: Earth? come in Earth...

Re:there's no night on the sun

[goombah99]

so that's why they plan to land it at night.

Day and night is caused by the rotation of the Earth.

rotation, shmotation. As anyone who's ever looked at the sun knows. the sun is roughly the size of a 50 cent piece and at night it comes to rest somewhere out west, probably arizona. Or so Calvin's dad told me

Re:Okay?

[Anonymous Coward]

And how hot is 1400 degrees C? Almost as hot as two chicks at the same time!

What about Uranus?

[DnemoniX]

You can't have a good story about probing without mention of Uranus...

Re:Don't worry NASA is not stupid.

[street struttin']

A quick impression of the first man to ever land on the sun: "Ow, ow! Shit, FUCK! It's HOT!"

Re:Can we

[Anonymous Coward]

This would be a good time for all of the ensigns wearing red uniforms to hide.

Great Presidential Speeches

[rumblin'rabbit]

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal of landing a man on the Sun and returning him back safely to the earth.

George W. Bush, June 2008

Re:there's no night on the sun

[B-a-Z.nl]

* Whoosh *

Re:Living and breathing?

[eln]

Apparently a NASA spacecraft soon.

Re:isn't the corona really hot?

[amliebsch]

And it radiates via what medium?

Luminiferous aether, of course. Ask a silly question...

Re:Don't worry NASA is not stupid.

[Monkey Angst]

Oh for fuck's sake... for some reason, this thread has brought out some of the most malfunctioning humor sensors Slashdot has to offer. It always happens during a full sun.

Re:there's no night on the sun

[ScrewMaster]

I can see that this topic is going to spark some heated debate.

Re:Okay?

[slashgrim]

Redirection is a much better idea! Reflecting will increase the temperature of the sun at a given point (our angle of arrival) and who knows what effect that will have?!

Re:there's no night on the sun

[Kagura]

Stolen from a webpage (http://chrisdamato.blogspot.com/2007/03/ask-calvins-dad.html) from someone who stole them from someone who stole them from Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson.

Illustrating the value of a good explanation in science education!

Calvin: Why does the sun set?
Dad: It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets.
Calvin: Why does it go from east to west?
Dad: Solar wind.

Calvin: Why does the sky turn red as the sun sets?
Dad: That's all the oxygen in the atmosphere catching fire.
Calvin: Where does the sun go when it sets?
Dad: The sun sets in the west. In Arizona actually, near Flagstaff. That's why the rocks there are so red.
Calvin: Don't the people get burned up?
Dad: No, the sun goes out as it sets. That's why it's dark at night.
Calvin: Doesn't the sun crush the whole state as it lands?
Dad: Ha ha, of course not. Hold a quarter up. See, the sun's just about the same size.
Calvin: I thought I read that the sun was really big.
Dad: You can't believe everything you read, I'm afraid.

Calvin: How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then?
Dad: Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It's just that the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Calvin: But then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way?
Dad: Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
Calvin: But... But how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't their paints have been shades of gray back then?
Dad: Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s.
Calvin: So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too?
Dad: Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?

Calvin: Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me? I don't understand why time goes slower at great speed.
Dad: It's because you keep changing time zones. See, if you fly to California, you gain three hours on a five-hour flight, right? So if you go at the speed of light, you gain more time, because it doesn't take as long to get there. Of course, the theory of relativity only works if you're going west.

Calvin: Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze?
Dad: If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything.

Calvin: How do bank machines work?
Dad: Well, let's say you want 25 dollars. You punch in the amount and behind the machine there's a guy with a printing press who makes the money and sticks it out this slot.
Calvin: Sort of like the guy who lives up in our garage and opens the door?
Dad: Exactly.

Calvin: What causes the wind?
Dad: Trees sneezing.

Calvin: Why does ice float?
Dad: Because it's cold. Ice wants to get warm, so it goes to the top of liquids to be nearer to the sun.
Calvin: Is that true?
Dad: Look it up and find out.
Calvin: I should just look up stuff in the first place.

Calvin: How come you know so much?
Dad: It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

Re:Don't worry NASA is not stupid.

[super_geek_1234]

I'm sure the sun is made of materials (like gasoline) that we don't have that much of here on Earth. There are sun spots, they are the coolest locations on the sun. They keep moving so it will be impossible schedule a long mission to reach one of them. The power of the Earth and anything on it is insignificant when compared to the gravity and power of the sun. NASA will be toasted on this project.

Last transmission from the probe ...

[I don't want to spen]

My God, It's full of star