Many Scientists Using Performance Enhancing Drugs

docinthemachine is one of several readers to send word of a new poll published in Nature showing unprecedented levels of cognitive performance-enhancing drug abuse by top academic scientists. The poll, conducted among subscribers to Nature, surveyed 1,400 scientists from 60 nations (70% from the US). 20% reported using performance-enhancing drugs. Among the drug-using population, 62% used Ritalin, 44% used Provigil, and 15% used beta-blockers like Inderal. Frequency of use was evenly divided among those who used drugs daily, weekly, monthly, and once a year. All such use without a prescription is illegal.

Caffeine?

[Hatta]

Strangely absent from the list. I've known few scientists that didn't consume lots of caffeine.

Punishment

[boristdog]

So, will they take away your Nobel if you've been found to use science-enhancing drugs?

Their evil plans were foiled yet again.

[jameskojiro]

By this strange scrawney man with black rimmed glases in a tan trenchcoat wearing sneakers and waving around a metal tool with a blue glowing end.

The man was apparently muttering about some kind of oil that supposedly made the brain work faster or some such nonsense.

His accomplices included a blonde bimbo, a middle aged woman resembling a sturng out housewife, her young ethnic lover, and a poorly put together RC dog.

Over in liberal arts....

[MosesJones]

Performance enhancing means Viagra.... no wonder kids aren't doing science.

Re:And what about...

[UnknowingFool]

AsformeIcouldprobablyuseless.I'monmy4thcupalready.

Oh great...

[MrKevvy]

Does this mean there will be mandatory drug testing at the Science Olympiad [soinc.org]?

Just what was in Albert Einstein's pipe [wayodd.com]?

And how did Stephen Hawking really end up in that wheelchair?

My confidence is shattered. :^p

Re:No, it's not drug abuse.

[timster]

What is right and wrong will always be a subjective and philosophical definition.

I don't agree with that in the least.

I can relate...

[Anonymous Coward]

I came up with a theory of everything while on LSD once or twice... actually come to think of it every time I took acid. Unfortunately my notes were always undecipherable once the effects of the drug had worn off.

Re:What's the problem?

[Ethanol-fueled]

So, *cough* which drug did you use? I have a test coming up...;)

Re:Oh great...

[Tablizer]

Just what was in Albert Einstein's pipe?

or his hair?
             

What a bunch of loosers...

[Yaa 101]

What a bunch of loosers to take chemical corporate drugs, while they could smoke a nice joint instead.

Re:What's the problem?

[StaticEngine]

Only if that funding is in direct competition with my own slut-related research.

Headline of the Future...

[Tablizer]

In today's news, Berry Dexter Bonds was informed that his three Nobel prizes for curing cancer and inventing a practical flying car will be revoked. Drug testing revealed that banned brain-enhancing substances were in his bloodstream just prior the prize ceremony. Testing has been standard procedure for the Nobel ceremonies since it was discovered that the inventor of the brain-enhancing drug, IQtrophine, used it to win a Nobel prize for curing the common cold.

It has also been revealed that Steven Nash of the Phoenix Suns NBA team has been taking brain enhancing drugs to help him make smarter, more accurate ball passes. One side effect is that it stunted his growth. College photos revealed that he used to be taller than Shaquille O'Neal. "I wasn't making it as a center, so I decided to become the Mother of All Point Guards", he said at a news conference.
     

So do we have to unlearn all our Science?

[wsanders]

I mean, if you learned something from a professor who was under the influence of performance enhancing drugs, do you have to forget it?

Right and wrong are subjective?

[Anonymous Coward]

Leave it to some clod on /. to simply assert as fact a single side of a philosophical quandary that has puzzled all of human kind, including some of its finest minds, since long before the beginning of written history.

It's all subjective. Right. Carry on. Glad that's sorted. Care to weigh in on P = NP ?

Re:What's the problem?

[rubycodez]

hell with the drugs, where does he get the threesomes?

Re:No, it's not drug abuse.

[Anonymous Coward]

I was hoping for a car analogy

Re:No, it's not drug abuse.

[Anonymous Coward]

Some people are trying to change it. The problem is that it would take a very large number of voters to force politicians to make such a change, and the average American is far too busy watching American Idol and working to obtain the next shiny toy.

Re:Right and wrong are subjective?

[gnick]

Care to weigh in on P = NP ?

Sure - Mathematicians always bring that up as if it's some huge mysterious debate, but I solved it rather easily. P==NP only when N==1 or P==0. See, that was easy - Unless I'm missing something, problem solved.

Right. Carry on. Glad that's sorted. =)

Re:Punishment

[Spy der Mann]

They took my Nobel just because I used my newly discovered intelligence enhancing drug!? That's NO excuse! Science sometimes requires sacrifices!

Those damn underevolved monkeys... they laughed at me, scolded me, but I will be the one who laughs last... they will see!

Igor! PREPARE THE ANTI-INTELLIGENCE BEAM!!!

HA HA HA HA!!!

Re:No, it's not drug abuse.

[holyspidoo]

NURSE: Doctor! A driver in full drug overdose and no healthcare plan just hit a homeless man, which one do we repair and who will pay for what?

DOCTOR: Arrrg... too... complicated... need Ritalin to focus...

Yep, we're all screwed!

Re:No, it's not drug abuse.

[gnick]

Actually, I've seen first hand some extremely graphic cases of drug abuse and would classify it a little differently than you have. Just to name a few:

* I've seen beer stored in a warm garage allowed to temperature cycle between 40-100 F daily for weeks on end.
* I've seen pot left out on a tray in a well ventilated area for days allowing it to dry out and taste terrible.
* I've seen the SAME coffee brewed 3-4 days running, eventually creating a brown fluid only slightly resembling the intended substance.

Oh, the humanity...

Re:What's the problem?

[notjim]

"In general: do your research before taking them, and be really sure you know what you're taking!" Isn't the idea to do your research after you have taken them?

Re:No, it's not drug abuse.

[ccguy]

Are you an idiot?

Ah, the beauty and power of words combined with typical slashdot manners :-)

Tainted

[techstar25]

Can you stamp an asterisk on a Nobel Prize?

Caffeine, Red Bull? Bah!

[Chicken_Kickers]

I am a grad student. To help me plan my research strategy and predict the outcome of my experimental setups, I highly recommend my brother grad students to take the spice melange. Not only has it drastically reduced the probability of failure in my lab setups (I can find out before hand if the experiment will or will not work), I also now have the ability to navigate my car better and forsee if there will be a traffic jam on the highway even before I step into the car. I also now have the baby blue eyes that all the chicks love. I was even told that I will live longer. Even better, this product is 100% natural and organic. So what are you waiting for?