Japan's Unique Cow/Whale Hybrid Experiments

RemyBR writes "Controversial scientific research happens all the time, but a review conducted by scientists in Japan uncovered a list of 'bizarre' trials - including one program designed to crossbreed cows with whales.'Scientists have analyzed 43 research papers produced by Japan over 18 years, finding most were useless or esoteric. The scientific research included injecting minke whale sperm into cows eggs, and attempts to produce test-tube whale babies.'"

Love It or Hate It?

[eldavojohn]

I really am torn on these experiments, I mean I could seriously question the motive and nature:

Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales? Cows and wales? What's next? Sloths and sea sponges? You had the chance to go Island of Doctor Moreau and you tried to recreate a manatee (hello? already exists!) instead of ... oh I don't know ... hybridizing wolverines and great white sharks?

On the other hand, I could also defend it with other logic, just as solid:

I don't see anything wrong with it. It was all a matter of time before this happened naturally anyways. Interspecies mating happens all the time between donkeys and horses resulting in a mule or hinny. Occasionally squash and pumpkin plants cross fertilize. It's common. Really, it was only a matter of time before a heard of cattle near the ocean resulted in a particularly rowdy bull wandering into the Ross Sea or Pacific Ocean to jump the bones of a minke whale thus creating a hybrid. Who knows, maybe these would be as useful as mules are? I'm sure the poor of third world countries could use another pack animal--now for oceanic voyages!

As Paris Hilton would say...

[Izabael_DaJinn]

"The scientific research included injecting minke whale sperm into cows eggs, and attempts to produce test-tube whale babies.'"

That's hot!

(clerks)

[everphilski]

Whales with teets that put mine to shame

Isn't this how Cloverfield started?

[xmuskrat]

It looked like a cow whale to me.

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[shawn(at)fsu]

What's next? Sloths and sea sponges?
I think it's going to be a pig-elephant.

(I clicked no karma bonus as it's a pretty weak joke)

man o' tee

[gEvil (beta)]

Silly Japanese. Don't they know we already have sea cows?

It sounds funny now, but...

[Subm]

It sounds funny now, but wait until the giant flying lizard starts fighting the giant flying turtle. By that point, not even the giant robot with the missiles shooting from its fingers can save Tokyo.

Pff.

[FlyingSquidStudios]

God, schmod. I want my whalecow.

DASTARDLY JAPANESE!!

[explosivejared]

Can't you see the obvious advantages of having a large cow-whale reserve. The Japanese wanted to produce an army of cow-whales that would have a superhuman... er... supercow ability to produce milk. With an inflated milk reserve, they could crash the US market... a veritable economic Pearl Harbor. THANK GOD THE INTELLIGENCE DIDN'T FAIL THIS TIME!!

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[MrNaz]

*Mumbles something about welcoming new cowhale overlords*
*Gets modded to the depths of hell*
*Swears*

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[master_p]

Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales? Cows and wales? What's next? Sloths and sea sponges?

Sharks and bulls, apparently...with freaking lasers mounted between their horns.

Half bear Half pig

[Grokmoo]

I am ok with them pursuing this line of research, as long as they don't try something truly dangerous, like a half bear, half pig. Or worse, a half man, half bear, half pig. Now that would be trouble.

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[TobyRush]

It was all a matter of time before this happened naturally anyways.

No kidding! In fact, when I read the headline my first thought is that these guys were experimenting with ways to put a stop to the rampant cow/whale breeding that has been taking place in cities like mine. It's really transformed my neighborhood in such a way that I'm no longer comfortable letting my kids play out front, at least not unsupervised.

related research

[circletimessquare]

-quantifying the mouthfeel of whale flesh on a scale of carnivorous appeal
-how to use less fossil fuels in the preparation of whale meat to abide by the kyoto protocol
-classifying whale meat's umami taste factor
-topological descriptions of various folding models in the preparation of whale meat sushi

most of the scientific papers associated with this vastly important field of scientific research have concluded some amazing scientific findings, samples of the papers' conclusions:

"om nom nom nom nom nom..."

"BURP"

"pass the sapporo, onegai shimasu"

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[Brian Gordon]

All I want is sharks with lasers mounted on their heads. Is that so much to ask?

Japan's research on Whales is like my research on

[MrSteveSD]

M&Ms

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[ArcherB]

I think it's going to be a pig-elephant.

Maybe, but that really wouldn't take the work of Japanese scientists. All you need is a pot-bellied pig, an elephant, lots of alcohol, and some Isaac Hayes music.

However, it will probably end up that a closeted gay, balding school teacher did all the "real" work. Even then, what good will it be if only has one ass?

Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime.

[Surt]

Seriously. YUCK! What gets IN to these people?

I'm thinking it's the whale sperm.

Re:man o' tee

[ArcherB]

Silly Japanese. Don't they know we already have sea cows?

Maybe they want their own version of Family Guy.

Japan's response...

[AutopsyReport]

Don't have a cow, man!

Re:DASTARDLY JAPANESE!!

[genericpoweruser]

The Debian team has already come up with a solution to that threat. Apt has super cow powers! Zing!

Re:female whales = cows

[JustOK]

but rarely to their face

Hardly unique

[Quiet_Desperation]

Japan has been at the forefront of cat/girl technology for *tears*.

Re:Where's the beef?

[DaveV1.0]

It would be very small because a cow with no legs but a huge tail would starve on land

Nonsense. That is why there are people. To make and feed cows with no legs and a huge tail.

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[The End Of Days]

Dolphins aren't fish, they just taste the same.

Thank Effing God I Have Lived To See These Days

[BigBlueOx]

At long, long last we have whale-cows. And Hallmark greeting card stereos. And pigs that glow under UV light. And iPhones.

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[Drooling Iguana]

It's an avian spy! Get 'im!

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[Ashbory]

forget the elephant. I wanna see a man-bear-pig!

Re:(clerks)

[The Fun Guy]

Mom?

Re:Isn't this how Cloverfield started?

[starglider29a]

My first thought was "Cow Pie!!!"
My second is having them stationed in Lake Michigan off Wisconsin, to supply the Wisconsin Whale Cheese industry
My third is a bunch of divers having to get up for the 4am milking!

Has this not already been done in the U.S.??

[Berserker76]

...or how else would you explain Rosie O'Donnell??

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[VorpalRodent]

Unfortunately, early attempts to mate lasers with sharks have proven unsuccessful. All the sharks either died or were rendered infertile as a result of the acts.

Attempts to directly fertilize a shark egg with a laser resulted in the immediate destruction of the ovum.

Perhaps someday science will answer this question, but for today, we must still dream.

The Far Side

[EdIII]

Anybody else visualizing a Far Side comic with 2 whale-cows and a farmer?

Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic

[Anonymous Coward]

"Imagine a bukkake in the dark, where each shot glows a different colour"

Pass.

Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic

[flyingsquid]

1. Western companies routinely pay for dubious research that pushes their own agenda. Probably more rabbits and rats smoked tobacco because of tobacco companies trying to prove that smoking is harmless, than because of all other research combined.

No, those rabbits and rats smoked those cigarettes because they thought it would make them look cool. Plus, you know, peer pressure. The guinea pigs were all smoking, and they were the "in" crowd among lab animals, so the rest of the rodents were just trying to fit in.

Re:Hardly unique

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, don't cry over spilled... that's not milk... DAMN YOU JAPAN!

Re:Yeah, right.

[MadMidnightBomber]

I think you meant:

1. Stale Meme, plus
2. "I know I'm going to be modded down."
3. Profit!!

PS. self-referential post FTW!

Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime.

[Alsee]

The Japanese are seriously taking that bukake thing way too far.

-

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[LurkerXXX]

It makes sense to me. I think if you throw a cow in an ocean, there is going to be a LOT of selective pressure to make some changes.

Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic

[Moraelin]

Do you have any idea how medical research works? You can't ethically use humans, so you find a model organism and hope it's close enough that your results apply to humans. I can't say that that research is good, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that kind of experimental design.

Actually, I do have some idea. And yes, I could also tell you what was the purpose of each of the western experiments I listed.

The point wasn't that Western research is all silly. The point is that you can make anything sound silly, or outright deranged, if you quote selected bits out of context, apply some heavy-handed spin to it, and do it for an audience that's more interested in validating their own xenophobic delusions than in critically thinking about that experiment.

Re:Love It or Hate It?

[bickerdyke]

Dolphins are just gay sharks!

Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic

[barry99705]

300 pound Whoppers.