Titan's Organics Surpass Oil Reserves on Earth

jcgam69 writes "Saturn's orange moon Titan has hundreds of times more liquid hydrocarbons than all the known oil and natural gas reserves on Earth, according to new Cassini data. The hydrocarbons rain from the sky, collecting in vast deposits that form lakes and dunes."

Invade!

[Zouden]

I hear Halliburton has already won the tender.

Gattaca

[Adambomb]

Oh great, so now theres no reason for Vincent to go there. Stop ruining fiction, reality!

Next up

[eclectro]

The TV show "Jed Clampett, astronaut," appears.

in related news

[circletimessquare]

1. Titan found to have WMDs

2. GW Bush orders the militarization of NASA

3. "Mission Accomplished" announced before probes with frickin' laser beams get past the orbit of Mars

pointless

[timmarhy]

tree huggers will march on the white house demanding the save titan from the evil corporations and their explotation of a defensless moon.

Moreover

[martin-boundary]

By an amazing coincidence, Titan doesn't actually have democracy over there...

Yet.

We just misheard

[Chairboy]

"That's no moon. It's a gas station!"

well, ain't that sumethin'

[jollyreaper]

Oil in space, never saw that coming. I suppose if we do find life on Titan, it will have to be divided into two armed camps, warring over tribal superstitions no educated sentient should believe in.

Auchhqa!

[mcrbids]

I was just about to write something about suddenly finding a need to invade Titan because of their despotic leader... but you beat me to the punch!

'Cause, you know, this is an original joke that, eh, we've never seen before around these parts....

Re:All we need now

[Asky314159]

Yeah, that'd be great! Maybe if we burn the same amount of hydrocarbons getting the tanker out and back as the tanker itself hauls, it can be marketed as a "carbon neutral" energy source!

Re:Invade!

[lendude]

Nah - Weyland-Yutani has got a lock-in on that one.

Re:Invade!

[DigitalWallaby]

Lucky it's not Uranus where these 'hydrocarbons' were found.

Otherwise there would already be a proposal to go out there and drill it.

Related headline in Titan Daily Times:

[Waffle Iron]

Chemical Energy Bonanza: Remote sensors indicate that inner planet "Earth" has hundreds of times more oxygen gas than all known reserves here on Titan.

Re:Invade!

[linumax]

Invade?! I suppose the right word would be 'liberate'.

You know you're watching too much pr0n if ..

[s74ng3r]

If you read that as -- Titanic organ on earth surpass oil reserves!

Non-smoking planet

[chord.wav]

The hydrocarbons rain from the sky
Titan, the first non-smoking planet. At least on rainy days.

Re:Big deal

[thrillseeker]

hydrocarbons are good for lots of things besides fuel, numbnuts

Does one rub it on to get that effect?

Re:Time for Space tankers to start taking flight

[Viceroy Potatohead]

So you've got at least 7 orders of magnitude of cost reductions to work through

No problem... Just make a metric-imperial conversion error, and the problem solves itself. Zing!

Re:All we need now

[Perseid]

No, I don't think that'll work. Where would the rocket find fuel to get back?

Re:Invade!

[rootofevil]

great use of the cliche +1
wrong website -1

total: 0

Re:Invade!

[colmore]

Well clearly we now need to spread Freedom and Democracy to the poor oppressed Titians, who will welcome us with roses and be able to finance their own reconstruction.

Re:Thank you

[Max Littlemore]

we can just export our carbon to Mars by paying them or any other 3rd world planet that will take it.

Ummm, Earth is the third world. Mars is the fourth.

Re:aren't they worried about global warming?

[WallyDrinkBeer]

Titan has an atmosphere full of global warming gases. Eg. Methane. But, it's surface temperature is -290F. One can therefore conclude the "science" that "claims" these "gases" increase "global warming" is obviously green hippy bunk.

I know titan is in the outer solar system but that argument is more just green science spin.

Re:Invade!

[dgatwood]

<speech style="speaker: George W. Bush; dialect: babbling idiot;">

There is new evidence that Osama bin Laden has been receiving material support from the Titanians. Our will is strong, our resolve unquenchable. We must take swift action to defeat this terrorist threat... from our neighbor to the West... wait... they're to the East now? Well, how did that happen? What do you mean it's night?

You mean to tell me that they can move their forces to the opposite side of the earth twice a day? How can we possibly win this war? We must reinstate the draft. It will take all our nation's strength to... what do you mean we're the ones who are moving? Oh. Never mind that little draft thing. You saw nothing, you heard nothing. Remember that, 'cuz if you don't, you might someday not be anything.

But we must stop these terrorists. If we don't stop them now, then one day, we might be singing Hail Titania or something like that, and we wouldn't want that, would we? If there's one thing we must not do, it is nothing, cuz when y'ain't doin' nothin', anything can happen.

</speech>

Pull my finger

[Tablizer]

Finally, a place where I can fart all I want and nobody can tell the difference.

Re:Invade!

[weighn]

Their current natural regime hasn't ever allowed them the opportunity...

hey, its not our fault that God put OUR oil under THEIR sand, oops, I mean in their clouds!

Republican mods can harvest salt from my cods

[weighn]

What's with /. lately? [slashdot.org]
I'm inclined to create a bunch of sock puppets and meta-mod all these sentimental, right-wing, apple-pie-humping mods to their beloved fiery furnace ...

Re:Mars?

[iminplaya]

When what I think what would be far more exciting, and with much more of an impact potential, would be to send out a probe to Enceladus and Europa...

"ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS--EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE."

Plastics

[Anonymous Coward]

That's fucking brilliant. I can just see the entry in the Hitchhiker's Guide :

Titan: previously hosting an incredibly intelligent, benign and peaceful native lifeform, the species lost its native habitat and became extinct when the entire planet was siphoned off by local neighbours of planet Terra so their inhabitants could all each complete the full set of plastic Transformer dildoes.

The last living Titan was known to express the now-famous sentiment: "You fuck me over just to fuck yourself over? You fucking pissant!"

Makes you wonder what another species might want to suck off all our water and air for, no ?

Re:Invade!

[sumdumass]

/south park: when Bush describes the need to bomb heaven.\
UN member: Are you high? or incredibly stupid?
Bush: I assure you, I am not high.

Re:Invade!

[cheater512]

Its depressing but only something like this would cause extensive space programs.

Bloody America and their oil fixation.

Re:Invade!

[Anonymous Coward]

Its depressing but only something like this would cause extensive space programs.

Well, and the next stop will be some moon containing all that oxygen we need to burn those friggin' hydrocarbons ...

Re:Invade!

[kickdown]

Titians

They are called Titties.

Mother of all bombs

[kanweg]

I just invented the oxygen bomb. OK, it doesn't work on all planets, but that is OK. After all, earth is the peace planet, and we bring peace wherever there are hydrocarbons.

Bert

Re:Invade!

[hkgroove]

Druidia!