Pluto Probe Makes Discoveries at Jupiter

Riding with Robots writes "No, it's not an accident due to a metric-to-English-units error. In February, the New Horizons probe passed through the Jupiter system on its way to Pluto, and we saw some spectacular pictures. Now, the science teams have published detailed scientific results, along with new images and movies. The probe's instruments saw clouds form from ammonia welling up from Jupiter's lower atmosphere, and heat-induced lighting strikes in the polar regions, and fresh eruptions on the volcanic moon Io. New Horizons also captured the clearest images ever of the tenuous Jovian ring system, where scientists spotted clumps of debris that may indicate a recent impact inside the rings, or some more exotic phenomenon." I bet Neil DeGrasse Tyson will be on 7 Discovery channel specials talking about these new discoveries inside of the week. Hope he's nicer than he was to poor Pluto :)

Oblig

[$RANDOMLUSER]

All these worlds are yours.
Except Europa.
Attempt no landings there.

Re:Pluto probe makes discoveries at Uranus

[somersault]

It would have sounded a lot better if this were about Uranus:

"In February, the New Horizons probe passed through Uranus system on its way to Pluto, and we saw some spectacular pictures. Now, the science teams have published detailed scientific results, along with new images and movies. The probe's instruments saw clouds form from ammonia welling up from Uranus's lower atmosphere, and heat-induced lighting strikes in the polar regions, and fresh eruptions on Uranus' moons. New Horizons also captured the clearest images ever of the tenuous Uranian ring system, where scientists spotted clumps of debris that may indicate a recent impact inside the rings, or some more exotic phenomenon."

Kind of difficult to take space seriously since Uranus was named.

And as a result of these new findings...

[dpbsmith]

... the IAU has decided that Jupiter is not a planet.

Re:Planets != People

[mooingyak]

Careful... anthropomorphic doesn't like it when you confuse it with anthropic.

You know

[JanneM]

I bet Neil DeGrasse Tyson will be on 7 Discovery channel specials talking about these new discoveries inside of the week.

You know, if he would happen to disappear, a victim of foul play, and his body found long after the crime, the forensic people need to be thourough. If they want to determine when he died by looking at the amount of mold on the body they need to turn it over; DeGrasse is always greener on the other side.

Re:You know

[argStyopa]

Even if they found he was beaten to death by a wolflike humanoid, they'd deny it or cover it up, because the government knows that nobody believes theories about DeGrasse gnoll anyway.

Re:And as a result of these new findings...

[BadAnalogyGuy]

LEAVE JUPITER ALONE!!!

(yes, just like yelling)

Re:Pluto probe makes discoveries at Uranus

[Nimey]

We should give up and rename Uranus to Goatse.

Re:I propose a name change

[somersault]

I dunno - Sphincter Majoris has a certain ring to it

(pun not actually intended, but hey, it works)

Re:unlikely

[thsths]

> Actually, a research satellite in orbit around Jupiter would be useful for studying atmospheric processes there

Ok, but who is going to listing to the Jupiter weather forecast? I would much rather have a reliable prediction for the weather right here during the week to come.

Re:Twin planets

[stdarg]

Interesting! I didn't know you could get urine out of Uranus.

New name under consideration

[Namlak]

Do you people have any idea how hard it is to teach astronomy when half the class snickers every time the 7th planet is mentioned?

In light of the public's growing familiarity with anatomy and diminishing mental age, the IAU should rename Uranus.

I heard the IAU is considering "Urasshole"...

Re:Pluto probe makes discoveries at Uranus

[fr4nk]

Fry: Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus.
Leela: I don't get it.
Professor: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Professor: Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
Fry: Hehe, no, no, I think I'll just smell around a bit over here.

The Jupiter System?

[Boronx]

Jupiter's not a system, he's a god ... a scoundrel. He'll smite you for calling him a system.