Super Pathway Discovered In Southern Ocean

WaltonNews writes in to let us know that a major underwater current called the Tasman Outflow has been discovered by Australian scientists. It helps to regulate the Earth's climate by providing water flow between three oceans in the southern hemisphere. Relatedly, a senior climate scientist has called for the establishment of a Southern Hemisphere network of deep ocean moorings, to complement the network already established in the North Atlantic. The intent is to detect any change in ocean circulation that may adversely influence global climate.

Dude!

[Anonymous Coward]

More radical than the EAC!

I call bullshit!

[stratjakt]

Al Gore already figured ALL OF THIS OUT.

There are no natural processes which affect climate. We all know what affects climate, is our use of incandescent light bulbs!

If only we'd all switch to mercury filled compact flouros, we'd reduce this nations energy consumption by almost 0.005%! Not only that, we'd increase the amount of mercury in our groundwater by over 200%! Mercury is good for you and helps build strong bones and teeth.

Also, we should junk our existing cars and build and purchase new ones which are marginally more efficient.

WHEN WILL WE LEARN?! THE ONLY SOLUTION TO CLIMATE PROBLEMS IS TO SPEND SPEND SPEND SPEND ON COMPANIES AL GORE HAS STOCK IN.

IT'S SETTLED SCIENCE

[Anonymous Coward]

Obviously anyone talking about any so-called "ocean currents" affecting the Earth's climate is in the pocket of Chimpy McBushitler and his cronies in Big Oil. We all know that only SUVs, incandescent light bulbs, and not listening to Al Gore cause changes in climate.

Holy shit, it's hot out today! WE'RE DOOMED!!!!

Re:And we start another global climate change thre

[Anonymous Coward]

Why invest in anonymous cowards?

Re:I call bullshit!

[Anonymous Coward]

You strike me as the sort of person who has no friends.

Re:Tasmanian Outflow vs. North Atlantic Current

[Rob T Firefly]

So does this deprecate the "The Day After Tomorrow"?

Too late. That film did a pretty thorough job of deprecating itself.

Ted Stevens had this comment...

[Jason Levine]

It's an underwater series of tubes!

Sequel time

[ghoul]

Hey now we can have the Day after Tomorrow 2 or as I like to call it 2 days after tomorrow. This time the problem starts in the south and we can have nice special effects of a kangaroo freezing to death. Hell we could throw in some junk science to explain why Australian animals are so different (something to do with a previous freeze) The big thing is we could use all the Australian actors - Mel Gibson Tom Cruise Nicole Kidman as the main characters and ask them to their native Australian accent for a change.

Re:Adverse changes?

[E++99]

The intent is to detect any change in ocean circulation that may adversely influence global climate.

How would they discriminate between adverse and beneficial changes?

Haven't you heard? All change is adverse. Change that hurts humans is bad because it hurts the oppressed, and change that helps humans is bad because it helps the oppressors. Welcome to the 21st century, it's stranger than fiction.

Re:Sequel time

[Anonymous Coward]

how about 2 dayz After 2 morrow, for that real Hollywood feel.

Who named it?

[Anonymous Coward]

"a major underwater current called the Tasman Outflow has been discovered"

When they discovered it, who informed us that the name of it was the "Tasman Outflow" ???

Re:IT'S SETTLED SCIENCE

[Anonymous Coward]

On the contrary, you are quite in the wrong on this issue.

It is obvious to any right-thinking man that pollution of the Earth cannot possibly affect mankind. First of all, the Earth is too big. Have you ever looked at a globe? The earth is many times bigger than even the biggest globe you have ever seen.

Second of all, if lefty "reality preachers" are so sure about evolution, then what is the big deal? Mankind will evolve special mercury-digestion organs and smog filters in the throat.

Third of all, whatever happens to the Earth is God's Will. Are you really so arrogant that you think you can change the Earth that God made? No, the Earth will never change unless God makes it change to punish us for our sins against wealthy industrialists.

Prior Art

[Anonymous Coward]

Didn't the sea turtles in Finding Nemo already figure this out?