What Happened Before the Big Bang?

The Bad Astronomer writes to tell us that a recent advance in Loop Quantum Gravity theory appears to allow the mathematics of cosmology to be extended to the time before the Universe underwent the Big Bang. Bad Astronomer also attempts to simplify things a bit with his own explanation of the new discovery.

Easy

[voice_of_all_reason]

The big foreplay.

Come on, what do you think, the universe is a whore?

Well, the last thing said before was...

[Critical Facilities]

"Hey guys, watch this"

Re:Easy

[Anonymous Coward]

No, but life's a bitch.

There was the sound of God asking for my zippo

[Timesprout]

so he could light the fuse on his latest science project

Everyone knows....

[Himring]

Everyone knows that just before the big bang, chuck norris was launching a roundhouse kick....

The punchline

[Spy der Mann]

These theories may seem like mumbo-jumbo or magic, but they have that very basic property of science: they're testable.

As a science-loving person, I almost fell in ecstasy by just reading this sentence. It really gets things straight regarding religious fanboyism. So "eat that, Intelligent Design".

Ahh... saying that felt so good.

You mean...

[grub]

"What Happened 6001 Years Ago?"
Fixed that for you.

Re:I'll tell you what happened

[Spy der Mann]

I posted first

I thought Greedo posted first! You know, maybe it's the Big Bang special edition :P

Re:There was the sound of God asking for my zippo

[MarkGriz]

So basically, the universe is just one giant flaming God fart?

No Before

[WED Fan]

There is no "before".

There has to be a big bang to have a "before big bang".

Now, 6000 years ago, roughly, God spoke and the Universe lept into being.

All you techno-geeks need to accept that. Put away your computers. I have. I stopped using computers because they are the "Beast" (Beast is a Trademark of the RMS Corporation, a wholly, and holy, owned subsidary of FOSS, owners of the GNUniverse).

God will smite you computer using disbelievers for not accepting the 6000 year Universe. Your only salvation is to face Kentucky and believe.

What happened before the big bang?

[jollyreaper]

Dinner, a movie, and a whole lotta wine. Giggity-giggity-goo!

ereh ees ot gnihtoN

[mypalmike]

.gnola evom esaelP

Re:But time doesn't exists yet

[a-zarkon!]

There is an alternate theory that brings up two big questions: 1) Where did the Great Green Arkleseizure come from? 2) How much time do we have until the coming of the handkerchief.

ob

[edittard]

A load of turtles had a big argument about which one was going at the bottonm of the pile?

So Douglas Adams was right...

[Dekortage]

The universe DOES recreate itself, each time stranger than before...

Before the Big Bang?

[Greyfox]

I think it went something like this:

"What's THIS button do?"

Re:Easy

[elrous0]

Before the big bang? That was back when God was in college. He totally meant to create the universe--but he was having problems with his girlfriend, his parents were giving him all kinds of shit, his weed connection got busted by the cops, and his humanities professor was riding his ass about that late paper. He finally did get his shit together and did the whole "let there be light" thing, though. Hey, we've all been young, right?

obDrWho

[Rob T Firefly]

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.

Re:But time doesn't exists yet

[IdleTime]

You mean 9 x 6...

Re:But time doesn't exists yet

[Short Circuit]

54? Methinks you meant 6 * 7.

So God Does Too Play Dice

[Kozar_The_Malignant]

From TFA:

>One implication of this "cosmic forgetfulness," as Bojowald calls it, is that history does not repeat itself-the fundamental properties of the current era of the universe are different from the last, Bojowald explained. "It's as if the universe forgot some of its properties and acquired new properties independent of what it had before," he told SPACE.com.

So not only does God play dice, but He re-rolls to get a better attribute set.

Re:Easy

[glindsey]

humanities professor was riding his ass about that late paper

Considering God had yet to create humans, this was a particularly difficult paper to write.

Re:Easy

[laejoh]

He finally did get his shit together and did the whole "let there be light" thing, though.

I'm sure you meant to say:

He finally did get his shit together and did the whole "let there be a midget" thing.

I forgive you,

Ramen

Re:Easy

[Anonymous Coward]

I can't believe that. If God was a student, he wouldn't have taken six days to create the world and then rested on the seventh, he'd have spent six days partying, half the seventh hung over and stayed up all night to get it finished.