Are Mobile Phones Wiping Out Bees? 419
Mz6 wrote with a link to an article on The Independent site about a most unusual scientific theory. "Some scientists suggest that our love of the mobile phone could cause massive food shortages, as the world's harvests fail. They are putting forward the theory that radiation given off by mobile phones and other hi-tech gadgets is a possible answer to one of the more bizarre mysteries ever to happen in the natural world — the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops."
New Bee Attack recommended guidelines? (Score:5, Funny)
I can guess too (Score:5, Funny)
*Sunspots
*Global warming
*Terrorism
*CowboyNeal
THE BEES! (Score:3, Funny)
little tin hats (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Better Reasons Exist than Mobile 'Phones (Score:5, Funny)
Invader Zim (Score:5, Funny)
THE BEEEES
Re:I can guess too (Score:5, Funny)
Re:New Bee Attack recommended guidelines? (Score:3, Funny)
New Theory (Score:2, Funny)
I put forth a new theory...
It's because of the ketchup bottles.
They were clear before, and you could *see* how much was left, but more importantly, how nasty the remaining amount looked like. When the inside of the bottle got so nasty, as to have the ShakeIt-Until-Even technique fail, the bottles would get tossed out.
These bottles would eventually find their way to dogs, which would eat all ketchup.
The nasty ketchup would give the dogs indigestion, and they would go take an acid shit near flowering plants.
The acid shit would put the soil pH precisely where it needs to be, so the plants create better tasting flowers for the bees.
With the new solid-color bottles, when we toss them out, they have too little ketchup amount in order for the dogs to get indigestion (ie, no shit).
The alternate idea I have has to do with the Titanic.
After all these years under the sea, finally, the women's make-up powder is reacting at those extreme pressures and depths. The resulting gases rise to the surface, and are carried by perfec harmonic frequencies to the US. These harmonics are created by the bees' perfect resonance buzz.
The bees find the gaseous make-up powder noxious, so, they're all chillin' down in South America where there isn't such a proliferation of boutiques.
Re:its not just bees ... (Score:5, Funny)
Not quite (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Better Reasons Exist than Mobile 'Phones (Score:3, Funny)
This has been my tongue-in-cheek crackpot theory of the day, brought to you by my frustration in trying to find soy-free foods.
Netcraft confirms: The bees are dying (Score:5, Funny)
You don't need to be a Darwin to predict the bees' future. The hand writing is on the wall: The bees face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for bees because the bees are dying. Things are looking very bad for bees. As many of us are already aware, the bees continue to lose market share. Royal jelly flows like a river of nectar.
The honey bee is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core queens. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time honey bee celebrities Maya and Willy only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: The honey bee is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Soul bee leader Q-Bee states that there are 7000 soul bees. How many bumblebees are there? Let's see. The number of soul bee versus bumblebee posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 bumblebees. Stingless bee posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of bumblebee posts. Therefore there are about 700 stingless bees. A recent article put africanized bees at about 80 percent of the bee market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 africanized bees. This is consistent with the number of africanized bee Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Pitcairn Island, abysmal sales and so on, the africanized bees went out of business and were taken over by the hornets who sell another troubled species. Now the hornets are also dead, their corpses turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that bees have steadily declined in market share. The bees are very sick and their long term survival prospects are very dim. If bee are to survive at all it will be among insect dilettante dabblers. The bees continue to decay. Nothing short of a cockeyed miracle could save the bees from their fate at this point in time. For all practical purposes, the bees are dead.
Fact: The bees are dying.
Hippie logic (Score:2, Funny)
Magnets cured my carpel tunnel/bercitus/sore back (even though there's no scientific evidence)
Cell phone users annoy me, and are controlled by evil corporations.
Therefore, magnetic fields (a side effect of the electro- part of the wave), are killing honeybees.
Also, honey is used for many holistic and "natural" cures, so the evil drug companies are in on it as well.
So long and thanks for all the pollen! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Reasons to believe this is bogus (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Reasons to believe this is bogus (Score:2, Funny)
Critter 1: Damn... this is some good canister.
Critter 2: Uh huh. I ain't had canister like this in years.
Critter 3: STOP! I just heard that canister the boys over the hill are munching on started spewing some kinda noxious fumes.
Critter 2: That happens sometimes. You can get used to it though. It's just bromoacetone.
Critter 3: Not this stuff man. Looks like xylyl bromide or chlorine or something.
Critter 1: Damn. Forget this! For now on, when I see one of these canisters, spewing or not, I'm outta here boys.
Critter 3: Me too!
Critter 2: Uh huh!
Re:New Bee Attack recommended guidelines? (Score:2, Funny)