Yellowstone Supervolcano Making Strange Rumblings

Frosty Piss writes "Supervolcanoes can sleep for centuries or millennia before producing incredibly massive eruptions that can drop ash across an entire continent. One of the largest supervolcanoes in the world lies beneath Yellowstone National Park. Significant activity continues beneath the surface. And the activity has been increasing lately, scientists have discovered. In addition, the nearby Teton Range of mountains is somehow getting shorter. The findings, reported this month in the Journal of Journal of Geophysical Research, suggest that a slow and gradual movement of a volcano over time can shape a landscape more than a violent eruption."

Fact for the day

[Bloke down the pub]

"Teton" is french for booby.

Horizon

[gerrysteele]

There was a BBC horizon program about this several years ago. Apparently it is hundreds of years overdue for its regular eruption. Would wipe out America apparently.

Better not happen before I find out what happens in Lost.

i have an idear

[Anonymous Coward]

sacrifice a virgin! yeah, theres plenty of those here reading slashdot im sure..

-Dirtbag

Told them not to do it.

[140Mandak262Jamuna]

Last time I visited Yellowstone, I saw some people throwing half eaten burritos and other Mexican food loaded with refried beans into these blow holes, vents and what not. Told them it is dangerous, but no body would listen. People are senseless!

I'm hungry

[Abcd1234]

I mean it, really hungry.

So long....

[Anonymous Coward]

... and thanks for all the fish!

Volcano TCO

[EmbeddedJanitor]

Remember folks... A volcano is an investment that lasts for generations. That's why you need easy to use software for your volcano so that your kids and unborn grandkids can use it. Microsoft Windows for Volcanos is so simple, sperm can use it.

You need to get your Volcano software from a company that will be there to send you patches and keep your volcano humming along nicely. You can't trust those pesky Linux starups that last only until all the share options are cashed up.

You also need to consider Total Cost of Ownership. That is, beyond the ticket price you need to consider the costs associated with keeping your volcano up to date over the centuries. Independent analysis shows that Microsoft Windows for Volcanos is the best software choice for your volcano.

Yellowstone Alone

[digitaldc]

Judging by all the inflation, pressure and possible eruptions - scientists have concluded that Yellowstone really needs to get laid.

Re:Fact for the day

[DrunkBastard]

Hence why its always funny to think about the Grand Tetons (the mountains...)

Re:Horizon

[rlp]

> The sky will darken, black rain will fall, and the Earth will be plunged into the
> equivalent of a nuclear winter.

Fortunately we're compensating with global warming

Re:Fact for the day

[alienmole]

I always thought that the Grand Tetons were a reference to Anna Nicole Smith...

This is all a bunch of hot air.

[RileyLewis]

These scientists are just spewing a bunch of hot air. I think they are pulling it out of their ashes.

Re:I'm scared

[MindKata]

I would like to tell you something to help calm your nerves, but I'm too busy digging out my shelter to stop just yet.

Re:Volcano TCO

[Dr Caleb]

Ahhh! But how easy to use is Microsoft Windows for Sperm?

Obviously anthropogenic

[Anonymous Coward]

This is obviously due to human activities. Probably the weight of all the SUV's people are driving there on vacation is compressing the magma resulting in increased volcanic activity. There's no way this is natural.

50%

[HomelessInLaJolla]

what are the chances of being alive to witness it?

There's a 50% chance that it will happen tomorrow. Either it does... or it doesn't.

I love quantum theory.

Re:Tornado Alley and supervolcanos

[Sponge Bath]

...a Yellowstone eruption would almost certainly own much of North America.

On the bright side, SCO would have front row seats.
Eat hot ash Darl!

The volcano god is angry!

[Eudial]

The volcano god is angry! Quickly, we must sacrifice all virgins to appease it!

Re:I'm scared

[vought]

but for now, it slowly ripples.

With all the talk about Tetons, I read that as nipples.

Re:Fact for the day

[LynnwoodRooster]

And wouldn't you know it, they're sagging too!

Re:Fact for the day

[OmnipotentEntity]

Actually, I always thought it was funny that there are 3 Grand Tetons. Whoever the Frenchman was that named that range had been watching too much Total Recall.

Re:I'm scared

[eric76]

The last time I got a traffic citation was about 1990.

The one before that was about 1985

And before that about 1980.

Does that mean that there is a cycle of 5 years between citations and that I'm overdue for another citation?

Re:Fact for the day

[jdray]

Serendipitous comic strip for today...?

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/uc/20070314/lnq070 315.gif [yimg.com]

Al Gore

[jeevesbond]

Has Al Gore been alerted about this? He's our only hope!!!!!!

Of course he knows, he invented the supervolcano!

Re:Fact for the day

[Ceriel Nosforit]

Based on my research either your hypothesis is incorrect or French women do not have breasts the images of which are uploaded to Google Images.

Since p -> (q V r), p being images of French breasts on Google Images, q being the accuracy of your statement and r being the French breasts themselves, we can conclude that the statement might be true or might be false.

Re:50%

[Tony Hoyle]

Quantum theory surely says it does both, but it only collapses into one of them when someone notices one way or the other.

Quantum theory is very wierd.

Does someone know how to contact Bruce Willis?

[elrous0]

Okay...we form a team. We'll need some reckless rebels who act crazy in their off-time but get the job done when the pressure's on. We'll train relentlessly. Then we go in there, and with the help of Tommy Lee Jones, or Bruce Willis, or Robert Duvall, or that chick who played a dude in that one crying movie; we'll blast that bastard all to Hell, against all odds!

But I warn you, there will be casualties. Everyone but the romantic leading man and the vulnerable-but-tough woman will be in real mortal danger. But I know we can do it!

Re:i have an idear

[ArcherB]

sacrifice a virgin! yeah, theres plenty of those here reading slashdot im sure..

NOT IT!

Odds are you shouldn't worry in the US48

[abb3w]

If the Yellowstone Supervolcano blows, the last forecast I heard was that it will be about 100 times as powerful as the Thera/Santorini explosion. The sound alone will probably kill everyone in the contenental US instantly. It's only the rest of the human race that has to suffer and die during the resulting ice age.

Have a nice day. =)

Re:I'm scared

[Kelbear]

If the global economy survives, there will be some pretty awesome post-apocalyptic video games to play off of this. Tired of the WWII rehashes.

Global catastrophe and end of life as know it aside, this could be positive for gaming!

Re:I'm scared

[istartedi]

"The ash fall from the last Yellowstone eruption covered all or parts of nineteen western states (plus parts of Canada and Mexico) nearly the whole of the United States west of the Mississippi. This, bear in mind, is the breadbasket of America, an area that produces roughly half the world's cereals...It took thousands of workers eight months to clear 1.8 billion tons of debris from the sixteen acres of the World Trade Center site in New York. Imagine what it would take to clear Kansas.

Imagine what it would take to turn over all the soil in Kansas. Oh... wait... that happens at the start of every planting. So. If this happens during the winter, they might need to scrape off some ash, pile it by the side of the field, or take and put it in a big pile someplace (which is what happens to grain a lot of the time anyway). The real concern is that it will happen during the growing season and interfere with growth and harvest.

You can't compare the clearing of a massive wreck of twisted metal and concrete full of remains to clearing a field. Obviously, interfering with growth and harvest is a major concern. If it's not raining, a strategy involving a blower attachment to a combine might still save the crop. Somebody should test that. If it rains though, your crop couuld end up encased in something with the consistancy of wet cement. Also, you've got to filter those engines really well. Somebody should test this, like FEMA... umm... ok, umm... yeah, we're fucked.

Re:Horizon

[cmacb]

Need more CO2, everybody start breathing faster now!

/wrist

[Anonymous Coward]

Yippy. Another doomsday scenario that cannot be controlled. What's the list to now?

• Earth-killing meteors
  
• Exploding stars' gamma radiation
  
• Super-volcanoes
  
• Bible prophecy realized
  
• Climate change
  
• Intergalactic highway

/fear
/panic
/wrist

Re:Fact for the day

[rthille]

"Build a man a fire warm him for a day, set a man on fire and warm him for the rest of his life."

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll devastate whole ecosystems...

2036

[AJWM]

Just wait. The Yellowstone supervolcano and the New Madrid fault are both overdue. Comes 2036, asteroid Apophis hits the Earth, triggering the New Madrid fault which in turn pushes Yellowstone over the edge.

On the upside, we won't have to worry about the 2038 unix/linux clock rollover.

Re:50%

[c_forq]

So if I observe the volcano, than the cat is dead? Or the cat may be dead, in some universe? Damn it, I don't think I will ever understand this quantum mechanics stuff - every time I look into it I fear I will genocide cats.

Re:Yellowstone Alone

[abb3w]

Judging by all the inflation, pressure and possible eruptions - scientists have concluded that Yellowstone really needs to get laid.

Ah! I always wondered where that "sacrifice a virgin" meme came from.

the tourists help! We need more

[CFD339]

We need as many of them as possible to stand on park itself, providing extra weight to keep the ground down. We need the equivalent of about 20 metric-Oprahs per acre over the long term. This will cause the magma bubble to recede, and bulge somewhere else. The Bush administration is doing research (on cable tv) to see if that bulge will happen in Iran.

Re:Al Gore

[master_p]

Indeed. After all, it's a well established fact that volcanos form a series of interconnected tubes.

Re:Uh Oh

[Farmer Tim]

I've read about the caldera previously.

So have I, and my prediction based on previous history it will just change it's name to a three letter acronym, fail to sue IBM and fizzle out leaving a smoking crater in Utah.

Oh, we're talking about geology...

Re:Fact for the day

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought "boob" was English for Frenchman.

Re:Why be scared?

[Anonymous Coward]

But if it can be determined that the end is near, you can get your affairs in order.

And you can run your testicles on empty.

Re:holy crap!

[TFloore]

i don't own emergency pants!

Just remember this rule when buying emergency pants:
Emergency pants are always brown.

You already know why. :)

Re:Why be scared?

[Prune]

Move to Europe

I lived in Europe from 1980 through 1993. In retrospect, I'd rather go with the supervolcano.

Re:Tornado Alley and supervolcanos

[KeyboardMonkey]

That's okay, they'll just change their name back to Caldera.

Re:Fact for the day

[haakondahl]

I believe you are correct. Lack of the proper accent has caused many men to miss out on French boobies.

Re:2036

[Arancaytar]

The hilarious part is that when another civilization discovers our remains they're going to wonder how the hell we were able to predict the apocalypse to within two years. After all, why else would we reckon our time in such a way that the calendar ends exactly then?