Lunar Dustbusters

Maggie McKee writes "Moon dust could be a source of oxygen and metals. But moon dust could also lodge in astronauts' lungs, possibly triggering long-term health effects. During the relatively short Apollo Moon landing missions nearly 40 years ago, astronauts reported difficulty breathing. So now, before astronauts return to the moon in 2020, NASA is working on a number of ways to reduce the amount of lunar dust astronauts are exposed to — from simple grates on the floor to magnetic wands and giant lint rollers."

Finally a chance for robotic exploration to shine!

[LighterShadeOfBlack]

Hello, iRobot? Yeah I'd like to place an order for 1 million Roombas. And uhhh, what kind of delivery charge is there for the Moon?

Get ready for...

[the_other_one]

The iRobot Moonba

Quick call Sharper Image

[edwardpickman]

Finally a use for Ionic Breezes!

Re:Lunar Dust

[skoaldipper]

Actually smoking may be benificial here.

[The air tight vacuum seal squeeks as the airlock pressure normalizes. Two astrominers take off their helmets.]
Zapp: Just let me catch my breath. Perhaps these will clear my lungs ...
[Zapp unravels a square pack from his t-shirt sleeve]
Zapp: Out-staaanding. Laramie Extra-tar now comes with cesnium-methyl-butate.
[Zapp's eyes roll back as he takes a long drag]
Zapp: Ahhh. Damn, that's smooooooth. [cough cough] Easy money baby. Another day, another euro.
Troy: Don't kid yourself, Branny. My good looks paid for that moon buggy, and my talent filled it with gold nuggets.
[Zapp laughs as a tar stained tooth drops from his mouth]
Zapp: Gold? I thought that was cheese.

Ze new bucket and ze cleaning woman

[OpenSourced]

reduce the amount of lunar dust

Previously astronauts were men, which are all pigs, as is well known. Now the solution is obvious. Send a woman to every moon mission and she certainly won't tolerate dust, moon or other kind, to accumulate in the living quarters, solving the problem. I can already hear her... "Commander! If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times. CLEAN YOUR FEET before coming in!"

Just...let's hope they don't try to open the windows when dusting.

Re:Ze new bucket and ze cleaning woman

[IHC Navistar]

Yeah...send a woman.....

Every time a New Moon comes around, she'll bith the living hell out of Mission Control. However, there is an upside: Mission Control has a 'mute' button.
I can hear it already:

Lunar Lander: "Goddamn it! Who the hell tracked dirt in here?! I just finished cleaning this mess up! Am I the only one who picks up around here?!"

Mission Control: "Ma'am, just calm down, Everything is going to be fine."

Lunar Lander: "Fine?! How the hell is this 'fine'?!"

Mission Control: "Look, just calm down. It's nothing to get pissy about. Jeez... just frickin' relax!"

Lunar Lander: "REALX?! That's all you ever do is relax! Every time I come in it's nothin but you sitting down in front of the damn TV with---"
(click)
Mission Control: "So, Bob, you catch the race the other day?"
Mission Control: "Yeah. Speaking of races, see if you can put NASCAR up on the big screen.
Mission Control: "Hold on a sec. Lemme check just one thing first....."
(click)
Lunar Lander: "GODDAMNITWHATTHEHELLAREYOUFATASSESDOINGDOWNTHEREA LLYOUEVERDOIS-----"
(click)
Mission Control: "What you guys wanna watch? Fishing, Foxworthy, or Nascar?
(sounds of beer cans opening, feet being put up on the table, and loud belching)

Re:It has to be said...

[montyzooooma]

"magnetic wands and giant lint rollers."

Yeah, apparently the space program is now doing their purchasing on the Shopping Channel.

Gasp

[Jeppe Utzon]

During the relatively short Apollo Moon landing missions nearly 40 years ago, astronauts reported difficulty breathing.

And that is how we discovered that the Moon doesn't have an atmosphere...