Vanishing Honeybees Will Affect Future Crops

daninbusiness writes "Across the US, beekeepers are finding that their bees are disappearing — not returning while searching for nectar and pollen. This could have a major impact on the food industry in the United States, where as much as $14 billion worth of agriculture business depends on bees for crop pollination. Reasons for this problem, dubbed 'colony collapse disorder,' are still unknown. Theories include viruses, some type of fungus, poor bee nutrition, and pesticides."

It's Global Warming!

[spun]

Where's my check?

Haha, just kidding. I believe in anthropogenic global warming, but I can't resist an easy shot like that.

Damn birds

[MightyYar]

Obviously it is the resurgence in bird populations that is killing the bees.

We have to bring back DDT.

This is simply a matter of the birds and the bees.

please...

[gEvil (beta)]

Oh please. Like bees have anything to do with crop production...What are these so-called "scientists" going to try to convince us of next?

Reason for disappearance

[Anonymous Coward]

Al Gore eat them.

They're heading back..

[bagboy]

across the border into Mexico.... They heard the pollen there is sweeter and more abundant.. Plus they can get health care for free..

American honeybees...

[zstlaw]

Why would they come back? Chinese and Indian honeybees do it cheaper. Rather than wait for their jobs to be outsourced, American honeybees are moving on to greener pastures.

I think it's pretty clear what happened here.

[mikkelm]

Clearly the introduction of Africanised bees resulted in some sort of bee-AIDS epidemic.

Those promiscuous pollen pilfering pests!

Children have little fingers

[spun]

We could put them to work in the fields, pollinating plants. Feed them enough sugar and they'd even buzz around like bees.

You people worry to much. No matter how much we fuck things up, we'll always find a way to fix it that doesn't hurt anyone that matters.

It's obvious.

[Minwee]

This whole "No Drone Left Behind" thing is a failure. The bees are heading out of the country for better educations, free health care and fewer 'reality' programs on the tele.

It's a conspiracy!

[mobby_6kl]

No, really. The bees are being captured by the government and kept in secret facilities where they are pollinating a secret genetically engineered type of plant, which causes them to become carriers of the smallpox virus and be more aggressive. The bees are then used to spread smallpox where needed, without causing an immediate biological warfare panic.

That's why the bees are disappearing from private bee farms.

Re:American honeybees...

[Aqua_boy17]

So are you proposing bringing in a bunch of Chinese and Indian bees under an H1-Bee visa or something?

Obligatory Simpsons quotation

[poot_rootbeer]

Beekeeper 1: Well, sure is quiet in here today.
Beekeeper 2: Yes, a little too quiet, if you know what I mean.
Beekeeper 1: Hmm...I'm afraid I don't.
Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise --
                          suggests no bees!
Beekeeper 1: Oh, I understand now. Oh look, there goes one now.
Beekeeper 2: To the Beemobile!
Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy?
Beekeeper 2: Yes.

Scientists?

[encoderer]

Scientists? Please.

These are the people who don't believe in the book of Genesis, for chrissake.

<cite: bill maher>

Re:Damn birds

[HTH NE1]

Bees get on my chimes anyway. The fuckers always want to sting me.

Have you considered wearing pants?

Re:American honeybees...

[superstick58]

I believe the legal term is "H1-Beesa."

Re:I realize that this post is supposed to be a jo

[LordPhantom]

It may seem silly but it is a critically important roll that the bees have to crop production.
It's not silly at all! I, like you, believe in the great insectoid pastry from whence all food production pours forth!

Re:American honeybees...

[georgewad]

Let's not bring Jar-Jar in to this.

Re:It's Global Warming!

[Anonymous Coward]

Some species of beatle is eating the redwoods.

Is anyone else picturing Ringo chewing on a redwood log?

Re:It's Global Warming!

[Dr Caleb]

France blames global warming on GEOs? Wow! Personally, I blame Chevrolet for the GEO.

Re:It's Global Warming!

[Anonymous Coward]

Its all that Norwegian Wood.

Crystal honeycomb...

[fahrbot-bot]

Across the US, beekeepers are finding that their bees are disappearing -- not returning while searching for nectar and pollen.

That explains the crystal honeycomb I received in the mail last week. It was engraved, "So long and thanks for all the flowers."

Re:Children have little fingers

[Joe Snipe]

I don't matter you insensitive clod!

Re:It sucks.

[Joe Snipe]

Well yeah, everyone knows spelling bees are the phirst to go...
wait, phirst? Uh, oh...

Valinor

[woozlewuzzle]

They are departing these shores forever. They are traveling to the Grey Havens, never to be seen in Middle Earth again.

Oh, bees.

nevermind.

Re:It's Global Warming!

[Plunky]

It was also nice to have some 350 odd acres to play on as a kid.

what was odd about them, did it affect your development?

Re:Humor?

[complexmath]

When a pompous man hears a question, he replies with a non sequitur?

Re:Children have little fingers

[LoveGoblin]

You know the old joke about how you owe me a cup of coffee because your comment made me laugh and my coffee spewed out my nose?

You owe me a slice of pizza.