Asteroid Highlighted as Impact Threat

Maggie McKee writes "The asteroid Apophis has been traversing the void of space for untold years; in just a few decades time it will make a very close pass to Earth, and could make an unwelcome stop on our planet's surface. Even still, it's nothing to get too worked up about. The 20-million-tonne object has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting the Pacific Ocean in early April of 2036. If it did hit, it could trigger a tsunami that would do an untold amount of damage to the California coastline and many other places on Earth. Despite the low level of the threat, it's still a real enough danger to prompt the United Nations to develop a protocol about the scenario. We'll get a closeup look at the object in 2029, and at that point we should have a better idea of what 2036 will bring us."

Call Bruce Willis

[Corporate Troll]

We have some drilling to do!

No Worries

[blantonl]

untold amount of damage to the California coastline

Cancel that request... nothing to be worried about... nothing to see here. Move along folks..

Re:great

[Corporate Troll]

Look at the bright side: we won't need to fix the Unix date overflow [wikipedia.org] ;-)

Re:Call Bruce Willis

[sconeu]

No, it's Apophis, so we call Jack O'Neill. Those darned Goa'uld!

leaving nothing but a cool, beautiful serenity...

[Rhesusmonkey]

...called Arizona Bay

Re:1 in 45,000 chance

[Corporate Troll]

My wife plays the lottery, my bets are on total annihilation before she wins....

Re:Call Bruce Willis

[jfclavette]

Talk about missing the point. In a few decades Bruce Willis might be DEAD ! Where does that leave us ?

Re:Call Bruce Willis

[D-Cypell]

I, for one, vote that we let the asteroid come, and destroy the planet in an effort prevent the potential catastrophe of a follow-up to that movie.

Anyway, with any luck, some smart intern has already pointed out that titling a movie 'armageddon' should, generally, rule out a sequel.

Hmm.

[Anonymous Coward]

I can sleep soundly now that I know the U.N. is on the case. /sarcasm

Thanks

[mustafap]

>We'll get a closeup look at the object in 2029, and at that point we should have a better idea of what 2036 will bring us."

I'll stick a reminder in outlook.

In other words...

[TodMinuit]

If it did hit, it could trigger a tsunami that would do an untold amount of damage to the California coastline and many other places on Earth.

DOOMSDAY PARTY IN CHICAGO! WHOOO! *plays Conga by Miami Sound Machine*

The new protocol point by point..

[plasmacutter]

1. set up an alert system:
  >>(green, no asteroid)
  >>(yellow, the asteroid MIGHT be near the earth)
  >>(orange, be careful when answering your door, IT MIGHT BE THE ASTEROID!)
  >>(red, we're already dead from the impact)

2. earmark government funds to buy swimsuits and surfboards for all californians

3. have congressional prayer sessions thanking the intelligent designer for wiping out the seat of all vice

4. only give recovery funds to predominently white areas.

5. Invade iraq in retaliation.

Ah, Wikipedia's dry humor.

[Kadin2048]

By far the best part of that article:

Using a (signed) 64-bit value introduces a new wraparound date in about 290 billion years, on Sunday, December 4, 292,277,026,596. However, this problem is not widely regarded as a pressing issue.

Re:Strange write-up

[skewer]

How can you know where it would hit (Pacific Ocean) but not the exact date (only "early April of 2036")?

It seems that the Heisenberg uncertainty principle applies to astronomy too.

Get me a Rickenbacker guitar

[SamSim]

And a gigantic iron to stand on.

Re:Call Bruce Willis

[edwardpickman]

He might still be around. If Keith Richards can live this long Willis could still be alive. He maybe a head in a fish bowl but there's still hope.

Re:Call Bruce Willis

[Anonymous Coward]

That's why they have remakes every 10 years or so...

There'll be a younger, more emo version of Willis. May be one of those boy band idols...

improbability

[mpoloks]

The 20-million-tonne object has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting the Pacific Ocean...

which if you look at the numbers it's the area code of a small town where i met this incredible girl! how improbable...

Re:leaving nothing but a cool, beautiful serenity.

[edwardpickman]

I live in Phoenix. I'll have costal property to retire on without moving to Florida! The glass is way better than half full! Come on, baby needs a new beach!!!!!!

'nuff said

[fermion]

Even still, it's nothing to get too worked up about... If it did hit, it could trigger a tsunami that would do an untold amount of damage to the California ... Despite the low level of the threat...

Ob. HHGTTG

[ozbird]

"So this is it. We're going to die."

Re:Ah, Wikipedia's dry humor.

[smaddox]

This will, however effect my plans of building a cryogenic chamber to freeze myself until they year 5,000,000,000,000. I would hate for the subtraction to overflow, and wake up in the year 707,722,973,404 BC. Actually, come to think of it, it would be interesting to see the universe before it was actually created.

Re:Call Bruce Willis

[twentynine]

ben affleck was trained in the same field

obliterate california?

[AIfa]

i fail to see the reason for concern

Never Fear, Space Garbage is Here!

[TheSuperlative]

Don't worry, if it comes, by then our protective shield of space debris will destroy it before it can enter the atmosphere.

California?

[Velocir]

Who really cares about California? What about Japan, Australia (although no-one cares about them either), and most of all, New Zealand? By 2036 California will be a half-drowned ghetto...

Re:improbability

[name*censored*]

where i met this incredible girl! how improbable...

I'll say! You met a _GIRL_??

That depends.

[jd]

The coastline might make a break for it first. It might prove necessary to accelerate the asteroid to prevent this.

Re:No Worries

[Anonymous Coward]

Let me be the first to say, "Surf's up!" Er... maybe a bad idea.