Low Earth Orbit Junk Yard Nearly Full

vlado4 writes "The New York Times has up an article on the amount of space junk in Earth Orbit. According to NASA officials, the amount of stuff we've put into LEO is at critical levels. Additionally they have great graphics of the nearly 1000 new pieces resulting from testing the new Chinese anti-satellite weapon, as well as the damage to Hubble's solar array. The litter is now so bad that, even if space-faring nations refrained from further interference, collisions would continue to create more clutter just above our atmosphere. Space debris appear to be a difficult problem to deal with and may hinder future space exploration."

No problem

[2.7182]

We'll just have the Chinese clear it out with their new laser death beam things.

Heh

[Moby Cock]

I hereby claim ownership of the concept of the space zamboni.

Look at the bright side

[Anonymous Coward]

Space debris appear to be a difficult problem to deal with and may hinder future space exploration.

Sure, but it also prevents stuff from comig in. Things like alien landers, etc. Or in an earth hostility only mode, it is a cheaper, and more effective, vresion of the Star Wars defense. Put more up there and let it shield us.

Solution

[EveryNickIsTaken]

Launch a new ball of garbage into orbit to propel the old ball of garbage away from earth. It's foolproof.

It will counter global warming

[140Mandak262Jamuna]

All these debris collide with one another and create fine dust covering the earth. It will reflect just enough sunlight to reduce the amount of absorbed radiation to counter the global warming. What a great relief! Last momement reprieve, brought to you by Frank Merrywell.

Hah--!

[EinZweiDrei]

Hey, wait, I played Math Blaster -- I am ready for this .

new moon

[mdemonic]

Maybe it will become a new moon some day, and we could inhabit it, and create a new layer of orbiting junk

We've finally done it.

[Rob T Firefly]

We've broken Space.

I guess we'll just have to go back to throwing our crap exclusively into the air and oceans. Last one to the beach with a six-pack is a rotten egg!

I have a radical idea

[realmolo]

NASA needs to cut a deal with Blizzard. Make each of the pieces of "space junk" an ultra-rare item in World of Warcraft that the players have to go and collect themselves.

The problem will be solved in 3 months.

Dear China,

[Anonymous Coward]

It seems you missed the announcement, the space junk race has been canceled. While your actions are impressive, and as irresponsible as any superpower has ever been, there is no need to attempt to catch up with the US and the states formerly known as the Soviet Union.

You also might be interested to know that there has been a litany of terrestrial environmental mistakes made over the past century or so. While we recognize that it's you're right to fuck shit up on your own, we strongly suggest at least making an attempt to learn from mistakes already made.

In summary, we all remember our first beer too, but come on, it's time to grow up a bit.

Sincerely,

The World

saweet

[esobofh]

Soon those saturn bastards will envy OUR ring!!

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Ok, didn't Nasa Tell teh Astronaughts not to fl

[multipartmixed]

> how much is human waist?

Depending on the human, somewhere around around 32 inches.

Java to the Rescue!

[Flwyd]

All space software should now be written in a garbage-collected language.

Re:No problem

[Anonymous Coward]

The Chinese anti-satellite weapon that caused all of the space-debris was a missile. The Chinese laser death ray is something completely different. If you had been keeping up on current events instead of nitpicking posts on slashdot while sniffing magic markers you would know that.

Hafrumph!!!

[StressGuy]

Republican

{...ducks...}

Re:No problem

[AVryhof]

Perhaps we need Megamaid

Re:How bad are we?

[rblancarte]

Does this make us the hillbilly's of the galaxy?

What's next, a space station on cinder blocks?

RonB

Re:No problem

[rblancarte]

You can see that the stress of all the debris is having a bad effect on astronauts already [bloomberg.com].

RonB

A giant vacuum...

[cobrajs]

Now if only we could create some giant space vacuum...

Re:Heh

[ArcherB]

How about a space vacuum?

Re:Heh

[operagost]

I anticipate that there will be a huge demand for brave space pilots to obliterate this menace. Therefore, I have already begun training on an advanced debris-elimination trainer software using the latest vector graphics technology. I realize that space is not two dimensional and the "hyperspace" technology has not yet been developed, but I will be prepared in advance once our brilliant scientists make space junk elimination possible. In addition, I will have a head start on blasting those flying saucers that will be piloted by our vile Chinese nemeses.

Re:Ok, didn't Nasa Tell teh Astronaughts not to fl

[multisync]

> how much is human waist?

Depending on the human, somewhere around around 32 inches.

Not around these parts.

Re:No problem

[rucs_hack]

"We'll just have the Chinese clear it out with their new laser death beam things."

that will never work unless they can breed sharks that can survive in space..

Re:Solution

[Moby Cock]

The Katamari Damacy Solution. I like it.

Re:No problem

[Zephyros]

And then when it's got everything, we can aim it at whomever we want and switch it from "suck" to "blow"...

Re:Typical

[Shiptar]

Global warming. I burn all my garbage, vote republican and bought a fortress on a mountain.

The sooner I get rid of you guys the better.

Killing yourself is never the answer, killing everyone else is a better and less selfish solution.

Re:Typical

[Red Flayer]

Of course as soon as someone would have suggested that we find a way to clean up the space junk early on, they would have been derided for getting in the way and worrying about petty concerns.

Bah, it's hubris to think that mankind has put enough stuff in LEO to affect the entire orbital space.

Furthermore, what's to say that natural sources don't put more space junk in LEO than human processes?

And who cares if we've "filled up" LEO -- surely technological advances will enable us to deal with the complications as they arise.

And why should we (the US) have to bear the biggest burden of reducing the trash in LEO, when developing nations (those without a space program) get off scott free? It's not like we're the major contributor or anything.

Besides, the jury is still out... plenty of independent* scientists dispute the findings of this study, and we should take no action until there is consensus.

*Independent: funded by the "other side" of the interested parties

Re:Not far off

[buckeyeguy]

So you're saying the Shuttle will be up on blocks. OK. Wonder how much a really big Trans Am decal would cost?

Re:No problem

[mfrank]

Just increase the rate of global warming. The warmer atmosphere will expand further into space, and all the junk will re-enter and burn up.

Also, we can schedule a date and time where everybody exhales simultaneously. That'll help.

Re:Not so bad, if you think about it

[Z0mb1eman]

From the article:

"During an eight year period ending in 2002, the solar panels on the Hubble Telescope were struck by space debris at least 725,000 times. Five thousand of these left crates and holes large enough to be seen by the naked eye."

Nope, not too high at all.

Time for...

[FuzzyDaddy]

An enormous low earth orbit marshmallow. And it will get toasted on re-entry!

Junk Science

[Nefarious Wheel]

Oh my gosh... now you can combine a science degree with an environmental studies degree and get a PhD in Junk Science!

Bad astronaut behavior

[EmbeddedJanitor]

You have to admit that NASA is losing in the TV rankings war. This is just a scam to boost viewer interest.

Weightless bitch-fighting.... hand me the beer and peanuts! Send 8 of 'em to space and they could make it into a survivor-style reality TV series.

Re:Bad astronaut behavior

[networkBoy]

Being voted off that island would certainly suck!
-nB