Expensive U.S. Spy Satellite Not Working 251
Penguinshit writes to mention a Reuters article about some trouble the U.S. is having communicating with a spy satellite. The sensor package was launched last year by the U.S. National Reconnaissance Office, and is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. It has apparently hung in a low orbit for months now, and efforts to communicate with it have been unsuccessful. From the article: "The official said the problems were substantial and involved multiple systems, adding that U.S. officials were working to reestablish contact with the satellite because of the importance of the new technology it was meant to test and demonstrate. The other source said the satellite had been described to him as 'a comprehensive failure.' There was no suggestion by either of the sources that the satellite had been purposely damaged as part of a terrorist attack. Another government official said he had no information about any attacks on U.S. satellites."
The problem... (Score:5, Funny)
Opps... (Score:5, Funny)
Dam conversions (Score:3, Funny)
Obligatory. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:If there was no suggestion of something... (Score:4, Funny)
Exactly. I'm sure neither source mentioned that it had been deliberately damaged as part of an extra terrestrial alien attack either, but they didn't mention that.
Maybe someone should start listing all the other types of attacks that didn't damage the satellite. (Start off with laser wielding shark...)
NMCI (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The problem... (Score:5, Funny)
KFG
Michael Brown Again? (Score:3, Funny)
Not if we jam it! (Score:2, Funny)
Who was their defense contractor on that idea? Lone Starr and a certain rotund guy with a tail named Barf?
Error (Score:4, Funny)
Usually works (Score:3, Funny)
.
Re:The problem... (Score:3, Funny)
just a *few* corrections: (Score:5, Funny)
Well, I doubt if NRO launches anything-- they probably sign a check to Martin-Marietta, who coordinates things and rents a pad at Vandenberg.
>and is worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
Well, it probably cost hundreds of millions of $. What it's worth, especially in the light of it being unusable, is debatable. Back when CMOS sensor arrays were custom made for $70,000 each the technology was gee-whizzy. Nowdays your basic disposable camera isnt that far behind what's in the current sats.
>It has apparently hung in a low orbit for months now.
"Hung"? as in hanging from something? Or hung as in "windows hung on me"?
>and efforts to communicate with it have been unsuccessful. The official said the problems were substantial and involved multiple systems.
So it probably had several radio links and none of them seem to be working. That's bad. There's usually at least one last-ditch fail-safe really simple telemetry and command link that doesnt depend on the main power source or antenna aiming. If they can't talk to that thingy, things are mighty grim.
>adding that U.S. officials
"Officials"? More likely a bunch of hairy and now sweaty peons.
>Were working to reestablish contact with the satellite because of the importance of the new technology it was meant to test and demonstrate.
So they wouldnt bother if it had old technology but cost $200 million?
>The other source said the satellite had been described to him as 'a comprehensive failure.'
Well, if you can't talk to it, that's pretty comprehensive.
terrorists!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Osama - "OK Zawawhatshisname, show me this big plan you have for taking out the satellites of the great satan?"
ZAWA - "ok, basically we strap a bomb to young Uday here..."
Osama - "ok, not bad so far, pretty standard, then what?"
Zawa - "then we have this big slingshot and...."
Osama - "whoa whoa waitasec.... are you serious??"
Zawa - "yeh, well he gets in then we tie the camels to the basket and..."
Osama - "what somebody cracks the whip and pulls a string c'mon man!! Is this what I pay you for?!?!"
Zawa - "well, I..."
Osama - "You're fired..."
Zawa - "but..."
Osama - "dude, just...leave...ok?!"
nah...my spidey sense tell me it was a launch damage f-up or micrometeorite, something normal like that. maybe even a bug, a software glitch like the poor MGS or polar lander (inches, meters, what being difference?!?!? haha!!)
Re:The problem... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Say what? (Score:5, Funny)
The ice cream scoop fell off my cone and landed in the dirt.
No terrorist organizations have yet claimed responsibility.
Suckers (Score:2, Funny)
My left butt cheek... (Score:5, Funny)
This has been a public service reminder. Remember, be afraid of terrorist, you need us, we keep you safe, you have nothing to fear from an oppressive government unless you are an enemy of the government.
-Rick
That's what they want you to think (Score:1, Funny)
Dude.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:O0ps... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Say what? (Score:4, Funny)
There are no cannibals in the British Navy. I ate the last one.
Re:Space Shuttle, CEV, and Failed Sats (Score:3, Funny)
Not necessarily, because this time they have to make one that WORKS.
spy satellite ! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:O0ps... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:That would be the WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRESSION (Score:2, Funny)
I would point out that history is written by the victors, and we have chosen "Civil War".
We have also occupied Florida - ask any Florida native.