DNA So Dangerous It Doesn't Exist

Panaqqa writes "A group of researchers at Boise State University is investigating the theory that there are genome sequences so dangerous they are incompatible with life. Greg Hampikian, a professor of genetics, and his team are comparing all possible short sequences of nucleotides to databases of gene sequences to determine which ones don't exist in nature. The New Scientist reports that the US Department of Defense is interested enough in their work to have awarded them a $1 million grant. I for one am not sure I like the possible directions this research could take."

Sounds Like the Funniest Joke in the World

[ztransform]

Just like the Monty Python sketch "the Funniest Joke in the World" [wikipedia.org], developing something that kills itself too quickly isn't going to get propagated far without a lot of effort!

I, for one,

[BerkeleyDude]

I, for one, welcome our new incompatible non-existing overlords.

Re:DoD ?

[pakar]

DoD - Dudes of Death

Why change a working slogan? :)

I though it was an other 'idea' like ID

[sodul]

When I first read the title I though it was about a new theory of some religious group trying to say that DNA is dangerous because it proves the theory of evolution so some school board declared that it does not exist.

Maybe there is some DNA that codes for 666 or that translates to "Hell freezes over".

But I know that DNA is really coding 42.

Re:I, for one,

[A beautiful mind]

Hey, religion claims prior art! Now you owe 1 billion dollars to the catholic church!

Re:Hmmm... paradox?

[kfg]

I hope they are very careful with their experiments.

Indeed,we wouldn't want a petri dish to catch cold.

KFG

Re:Hmmm... paradox?

[Walt Dismal]

Undoubtedly the plot of the fourth Indiana Jones movie.

"Doctor Jones? We'd like you to find the lost macguffin of death that kills anything with DNA before the Nazis find it. Oh, and the French Dr. Sneeringfart, your longterm rival, is already on the trail."

A few scenes from the movie:

Dr S: "Fine wine - too bad you won't live to enjoy it, Jones!"

Indy: "Snakes on a plane? Why does it always have to be snakes on a plane!?"

Indy: "There was an ancient legend that the Aztecs put this in the cocoa of their enemies. DNA incompatible with human life! It's like a bad dream of science!"

Explorer babe: "Oh, Indy, ignore that tiny bottle of deadly DNA and pay some attention to MY DNA!!"

Er, I expect the title will be, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Lost Biowarfare.

Why I have a better proposition

[Kashgarinn]

I'd like a grant to theorise about a few things:

1) the "Rabbit that is so dangerous it can cut your head off"
- I believe most of my research will be around the castle Aaaaaargh.
2) The "Chuck Norris move that's so dangerous that it doesn't exist"
- Even chuck norris would perhaps have to spend more than 20 minutes researching it.
3) the "solution to the iraq war which is so useful it doesn't exist"
- and now I've passed from the plausible to the ridiculous, sorry about that.

K.

Re:Might as well imagine shrink rays.

[Wonko the Sane]

Assuming you did something to make sure the recessive gene didn't just strike carriers too, you'd end killing blonds and gingers.

What's so bad about that? We all know that gingers have no souls [wikipedia.org].

Red Power!

OH NOES SEW SKARIE!

[Rogerborg]

What are the DoD going to do; shoot me with a bullet impregnated with a mutagen?

Re:Hmmm... paradox?

[AGMW]

Er, I expect the title will be, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Lost Biowarfare.

Other favourites include (but are not limited too) :-
Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Pension Fund
Indian Jones and the Sanatogen [sanatogen.co.uk] of Doom
Indian Jones and the Lost Slippers

Wow, Blade Runner is real

[gelfling]

Program an organism to self destruct before it becomes a permanent danger.

Re:From a programmers perspective

[Tony Hoyle]

Since 90% of DNA is useless junk (warning: figure pulled out of ass, but it's a big number I believe) then it would say he was a rather crappy programmer.

Re:From a programmers perspective

[mrjb]

Does that mean that God is a good programmer? Quite a dreadful one, actually. Sure, he wrote this terraforming application in just six days, but a bit more planning would have been wise. Just look at the amount of bugs it has! He's been busy 'fixing' them them ever since, but for every bug eliminated, another was introduced... it's not strange that things haven't evolved since. It's an unmaintainable legacy application by now, a rewrite from scratch would be best.

Re:Eugenic Wars.

[Beyond_GoodandEvil]

Did someone say "Eugenic Wars?" You know where that leads,"KKKKKKhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

Re:This is the worst use of $1M!!!

[cowscows]

You missed the last paragraph, obviously. This new DNA will be created out of anti-matter, creating what is essentially anti-DNA. This anti-DNA will annihilate on contact with normal DNA, and release incredible amounts of energy.

The DOD's goal is to eventually breed entire anti-DNA animals. Imagine an anti-rat, which could infiltrate an enemy building through the sewer lines or hide in a packaging crate or whatever. Once it's entered the compound it would emerge from hiding, and natural instincts would drive it to attempt mating with other rats. Since it's likely that most of the rats it may find will be of the normal, non-anti-matter variety, the commencing of the mating process will result in mutual annihilation of both rats, and the release of ridiculous amounts of energy. So a hugemongous explosion.

Of course, by breaking this story, slashdot has probably saved millions of lives. Had the pentagon kept this secret as they had hoped, they'd be able to hide their attacks right in public view. Imagine the generous donation by a US "Charity" of a full grown elephant to the Beijing zoo. Little would the chinese government expect that this is actually an anti-elephant, and when it interacted with the normal elephants they already had...let's just say that China wouldn't be challenging the US economy any time soon.

MWAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

Re:A million dollars??

[Vreejack]

So the /. summary was misleading...

I'm shocked, shocked to discover sensational flamebait summaries posted here.

Re:Sounds Like the Funniest Joke in the World

[Alsee]

That violates Occam's razor.

But you're forgetting Occam's Shaving Cream.

Conspiracy theory is the handy-dandy foaming lubricant for avoiding the harsh cut of Occam's Razor.

Occam's Shaving Cream says that Conspiracy theories can trade off lubrication vs foam factor. If a conspiracy theory is slick enough, you don't need much foam. And if the initial conspiracy isn't very slick, the harder someone tries to rub it away the harder it foams up.

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