White Dolphin Functionally Extict

An anonymous reader writes "For the first time in nearly fifty years another mammal, specifically an aquatic mammal, has gone extinct. In this case, it was the white dolphin, also known as the Baiji, which used to live in the Yangtze River in China. The dolphin had been known to exist for the last 20 million years."

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Overloards

[pseudorand]

I, for one, morn the loss of our potential aquatic overlords.

I just have one question!

[Eros]

How did they taste?

Re:I can only say...

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't kid yourself. If a white dolphin ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you care about.

Ironic Article Timing

[adavies42]

I know they're not really equivalent, but it's still funny to see this right above "New Zealand's First Land Mammal Discovered".

Re:Oops!

[Anne_Nonymous]

Rest assured that all your future tuna sandwiches will be White Dolphin free.

Re:really...

[danpsmith]

Its just a way for eco-freaks to start yelling that we are killing the earth as they drive off in their new Hummer as they go for a friendly Sunday drive to observe nature.

That's not true...We take the Lexus to the environmental rally on Sundays, Saturday is Hummer day.

20 million years seems like a pretty good run

[steak]

it sucks that they're gone, but times change and evolution is cruel mistress. they should have grown opposable thumbs 20000 years ago and stopped our ancestors from inventing the plow then maybe they would have stood a chance.

So long

[wiredog]

and thanks for all the fish!

'60s TV reference alert

[Anonymous Coward]

They called him Fripper, Fripper ...

Re:I just have one question!

[tuxette]

How did they taste? Like tuna...

Re:Why do we care all that much?

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe you should respect their choice to just die off and end their misery? How the hell do you or any of these other people know they WANT to be protected? Goddamned hippies!

I blame George Bush

[Anonymous Coward]

fuckin' unelected lying Chimp
He and the GLOBAL WARMING DENIERS killed the white dolphin
it probably drowned because all the ice on the Yangtzee thawed thanks to Halliburton.
All you stupid Christian idiots probably think Osama bin Laden did it.
Even though there is NO connection between 911 and white dolphins!

Re:Why do we care all that much?

[Dystopian Rebel]

More than 995% of all zoological diversity, in total, ever, is extinct. Why do we need to sweat it

Because maybe one of those extinct species was good at statistics.

Huh

[locokamil]

Find one (nouveau New Zealand mammal), lose one (Chinese White Dolphin). It evens out, no? :: Goes and votes Republican ::

I kid, I kid.

Re:Why do we care all that much?

[Zaatxe]

"First they came for the white dolphin, but I didn't say a word because I'm not a white dolphin..."

Re:White Dolphin "Functionally" Extinct?!

[Anonymous Coward]

It wasn't "Adam and Steve". Functionally or not.

Re:Oops!

[eln]

Don't feel too bad, it was bound to happen. This species required constant reassurance or it would die, and it was sexually attracted to fire.

Charlie Tuna mourns

[El_Smack]

I /thought/ my tuna sandwich tasted different today.

I won't believe it until...

[Anonymous Coward]

I won't believe the white dolphins are dying until Netcraft confirms it.

Re:Oops!

[tritonman]

Finally!

Re:really...

[MagicM]

Saturday is Hummer day.

I wish.

Oh, you meant the car. Sorry.

Re:Oops!

[severoon]

You only think this way because you're not looking hard enough to find out how it's our fault. It's hard to believe it's nearly 2007 and people like you still haven't figured out that every ecological problem in the world is our fault. Or, more specifically, yours and mine. Oh, you say you just wanted to sit down and enjoy an episode of Battlestar Galactica on DVD? Well thanks for wrecking the Amazon and feeding radium to starving Indian children you fascist! You just bought your girlfriend a dozen roses? Oh how nice. Did you realize those roses were shipped in a vehicle that burned fuel from the Middle East that funds oil sheiks that funded terrorism that killed my neighbors grandmother in Israel? Real nice, you Nazi. I hope your girlfriend thinks those flowers were worth having a poor old woman's head stomped in. If it sounds like I'm not making sense, I'm sure if you RTFA it'll all come together. Well, I mean, I didn't read it, but how could it not support my point?

Re:I can only say...

[vertinox]

20 Million Years.

Well that was plenty of enough time to evolve into something that can develop an industrial civilization and subjugate all other sentient beings.

If they didn't want to go extinct they could have spent all that time developing their own space program and left.

Or nuclear weapons depending if they were not in a "good mood" kind of species.

Well that sucks

[Anonymous Coward]

It's the dolphin bits that give tuna that great taste.

Re:Oops!

[derubergeek]

not only did the people who put it together get paid slave wages...

Man. Think how much cheaper our stuff from China would be if those silly Chinese stopped paying wages to their slaves. Sounds like they need an efficiency expert - or at least a dictionary.

You think the two Bob's would be available?

Damn!

[danpsmith]

The bubble-era vision of a Utopian ocean is dented and dirty...The white dolphin has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders.

So Long, and Thanks for All The Fish

[filesiteguy]

Why is it - knowing that the dolphin probably bailed out - I'm suddenly looking up in the sky wondering if a large fleet of construction ships will soon be overheard in preparation to create an interstellar bypass?

Re:I can only say...

[Keebler71]

But in the grand scheme of things, we're more likely to be classified as a 'parasite' on the planet since 'modern' civilizations haven't been able to live in harmony with the environment we occupy.

Agent Smith? Is that you?

Re:Oops!

[GTMoogle]

"You must be new here."

Fixed

Top Of the Food Chain, Ma!

[Greyfox]

Species die out all the time. It's not that uncommon and very few of the extinctions throughout history were caused by humans. Ultimately if a species can't adapt to its conditions it does. That's how nature works. Take raccoons or coyotes... Hear them complaining about the humans invading their environment? I'd say they're doing better than ever. On the other hand we have the dodo. Now if that species had adapted to being eaten by humans by evolving to be less... edible... then it would have survived. But no... they had to remain tasty and delicious and the species paid the price!

And keep in mind that all the other species on earth need us (or another species like us) and our clever monkey brains to figure out how to get off this rock before the sun explodes in a couple billion years. Otherwise all life that we know of will die and the whole entire exercise will have been pointless.

Re:Oops!

[timmarhy]

thats a retarded argument. how about i dump you in acid and run boats over the top of you and call you pathetic for not adapting to my punishment.

Re:Oops!

[clambake]

If humans have greater moral rights than other animals based on having "advanced" brains, then it follows that humans with more "advanced" brains have greater moral rights than simpletons.

Do you believe that I should get to, for example, kill and eat people less intelligent than me? Or perform painful experiments on them? Or wipe them them because I want to build and sell houses on the land where they're living now?

Well clearly not YOU. We are talking *advanced* brains here. So, steven hawking is free to kill and eat people. But not you.

Re:I can only say...

[arevos]

But in the grand scheme of things, we're more likely to be classified as a 'parasite' on the planet since 'modern' civilizations haven't been able to live in harmony with the environment we occupy.

No animal intentionally lives in harmony with their environment. The only reason humans are causing a mass extinction rather than any other animal, is because we're considerably more efficient, so much so that we're in a different league entirely to other animals. The reason we're having problems is because of our success as a predator; we have to reign in our power considerably in order to prevent the destruction of the environment around us. Few species are capable of such restraint.